Our Shoes Off Preference in our home

146 Comments

• 

  Margarita

  Saturday, February 3, 2018

  Hi folks, this is an awesome discussion! I searched on the internet for something like this due to an experience that I had just recently and I’m surprised how little you find about the topic.
  So, here’s the story: We recently moved to a new place and were invited over to dinner by our new neighbors. So I went with my daughter and son and before entering the house, we were told that they had a “bare feet only rule” in their house, so we would have to take off our shoes and socks. My daughter acted as if she hadn’t heard this, only removed her shoes and walked in with her socks. Our neighbor reacted with a little impatience and said something like “Sorry dear, but I’ll have to insist that you take off your socks as well”. My daughter turned towards me and asked, if she really had to take part in that dinner. That was so rude, so I answered “Yes, of course” and made her apologize to our neighbors. Then, we all took off our socks and walked in. In the house, our neighbors and their teenage kids were all barefoot and they explained that a few years ago, they made this a rule in their house, because their floors are slippery, they also don’t like the sight of socks and want to make people enjoy the benefits of bare feet (health issues and so on). I also noticed, that being in our bare feet for the whole evening just felt amazing and it also helped to develop an informal and warm atmosphere between us in a matter of minutes. They also told us that most of their guests really loved their policy about bare feet.

  So, now me and my husband we are thinking if we should introduce a “bare feet only” rule as well. Our daughter doesn’t like the idea at all, since she has this weird thing about her feet (she is ashamed of showing her feet to other people). But I think that as a 18 yo girl she should get over this by now and being such a beauty, she really has nothing to hide. So, actually I think that maybe this is an additional reason why we should make it a rule in our home, in order to help her develop a normal relationship to her feet. Until now, we’ve always had a “shoes off” rule for everyone, but reading all those arguments (thanks by the way), I’m actually wondering why we should stop at shoes and not ask for bare feet, which is so much more natural and healthy.
  I also tend to agree with Julia that making someone remove his/her socks is really not too much to ask, since feet are no intimate body parts. And additionally, I think, that in our house we can determine the rules for ourselves and visitors, as long as we are not asking anyone to do anything absurd.

  So, what is your opinion on that, folks? Should we make everyone take their shoes and socks off in our house?
  I’m looking forward to your answers :)

  Reply
• 

  Julia

  Friday, December 22, 2017

  Oh, seems like it’s working again, so sorry about that last post… :)

  @ Lou
  Well, there I disagree fundamentally. Wearing shoes inside is just a no-go for me and I believe it’s like that in most countries outside the US. It’s not only unhealthy for your feet to wear shoes all day long, but it is also really disgusting to have all that dirt from outside in your house. When I see people putting their shoes on the couch or even on the bed, where it’s supposed to be clean, where you lie down your face etc., that’s really when my understanding ends.

  @Marie
  As for removing socks, I wrote a reply to Marie some time ago, but somehow it disappeared or wasn’t published, so I’m doing it again. I think it’s interesting how this issue is treated so differently. While most people would probably agree that not allowing shoes in the house is pretty normal and logical, when it comes to socks, somehow people become more hesitant. But I just don’t get it! If it is perfectly ok and normal to ask for people to remove their shoes in the house, why does the next logical step of asking for bare feet seem so hard for many people? Socks, just like shoes, are for protecting the feet. But at home, if it is warm enough, your feet don’t need that protection. Then, socks are really just annoying because they cause slipping, they make your feet to warm, they prevent the natural movement of your feet, they look silly, they tend to be unhygienic and make for additional laundry all the time. So, maybe I’m missing something, but I just don’t get the point here. If more or less every rational reason that you can think of speaks against wearing socks in the house, then why is it so wrong to have a barefoot rule?

  And then think about this: When my daughters forgot their PE kit at high school, they were required to take off their shoes and socks and do PE in bare feet. It was the same for me, when I was at school, by the way. The girls weren’t too happy about it, but in the end no one ever considered it weird that their PE teacher had the right to make them participate in bare feet. Also, my older daughter took part in a drama group at school. There, for practice as well as for rehearsals, all students were required to have bare feet, no exceptions. So, what I want to say is that: People are required to remove their shoes and socks all the time: At the swimming pool, during PE lessons, in drama, when practicing yoga, when getting their pictures taken in a studio or when they go see the doctor and so forth. All of this is considered perfectly normal. So, if I want everyone to remove their socks in my house and have bare feet, why is considered weird or extreme? To me, it is just self-explaining and I don’t understand why this kind of rule is not more common.

  @ JB
  You are right, of course, that warm floors are a precondition, if you want to enforce a “bare feet only” policy in your house. Sure, everyone has to remove their socks at our home, but that doesn’t mean that we want our guests to be uncomfortable. So, if you have cold floors, I understand that you prefer to wear socks. However, in many apartments, that’s not really an issue, but still people wear socks all the time. And that’s what I don’t understand.

  Reply
• 

  Julia

  Friday, December 22, 2017

  Hey. For some reasons, I can’t write here any more. Everything I try to post something, it just disappears. In case this reaches you, do you have any idea how to fix it?

  Reply
• 

  JB

  Monday, December 4, 2017

  As someone who likes to relax in my sock feet with no shoes, I feel as though I need to defend my sock-footed habit. ;)
  Believe it or not, the best thing for the life of your carpet is to wear socks or slippers. If you Google that topic, you’ll find a lot of carpet cleaners recommend taking shoes off at the door and switching to just socks or slippers.
  Some of us live in northern climates and don’t have heated floors, so in the wintertime, I think it’s really unreasonable to ask people to remove *both* their snow boots and their socks at the door. Wet and snowy boots off? Absolutely, but most people are going to want to keep their socks on for warmth. I know plenty of people who want shoes off in their home, but socks off is unheard of in northern areas of the country.
  Not all socks are created equal, so I buy brands that are higher quality. They can last for years, even though I wear them without shoes. I don’t get holes in them that quickly. Do the bottom of my socks get dirty? Sure, but I can wash them. I walk around the common hallways of my apartment building sock-footed. I don’t put shoes on to visit with my neighbors, or to walk to the mailbox, or to the laundry room. I like to be without my shoes as much as I can, and I’m willing to live with a little dirt on the bottoms of my socks.
  Sure beats wearing shoes or slippers.

  Reply
  • 

    Diana Elizabeth

    Wednesday, December 13, 2017

    Haha JB! I appreciate you defending the sock-foot habits. I would of course agree with you and right now my toes are cold and I need to get some slippers right now! Thanks for reading and discussing on here! Hope your toes are warm this holiday – and your home clean ;)
• 

  Lou

  Tuesday, November 21, 2017

  Get real. There is nothing wrong with wearing shoes inside, if you want. Are you the Shoe Nazi?

  I love being barefoot, but not in a friend’s house.

  Reply
• 

  Marie Winslow

  Saturday, November 11, 2017

  Hi all.

  I definitely agree with a shoes off policy, and I’m surprised that it isn’t that common where I live. To me it is only logical, shoes track dirt, dust and germs from outside, and make cleaning the floors much harder than it should be. As for socks, I’m mixed on that. The first thing that I do when arriving home is to take off my shoes and socks. I prefer being barefoot inside and so does my husband and two daughters, but it isn’t a rule. If our guests want to keep their socks on, then they are most welcome too, but if they want to take them off, that is fine to and many do. They just have to take their shoes off.

  Though I admit Julia makes some good points about the merits of a barefoot rule.

  Reply
• 

  Julia (Nellie)

  Friday, November 3, 2017

  Hello Diana Elizabeth. Thanks for the quick answer :)
  I guess that there are just divergent opinions on that matter. And in the end, of course, I think everyone has to decide for him- or herself what people should wear on their feet in one’s house. So, I don’t think there is something wrong with any kind of footwear rule, I just think it is unnatural to wear shoes in the house. I’ll try to explain a little more, because I also think it is really an interesting topic, if you think about it.
  Of course, floors are not always perfectly clean. But actually this is another reason why you shouldn’t wear socks in the house, from my point of view. Before we banned socks in our house, us and our daughters were always having dirty socks. Plus, the socks were getting holes all the time. So, we had to wash them and buy new socks constantly. It was quite annoying for me and not necessary at all. Now, when everyone is barefoot in the house, of course your feet can get a little dirty as well, but it is just so much easier to wipe the soles of your bare feet once or twice a day than change your socks all the time. We also pay special attention to keeping the kitchen’s floor clean. But still, if you step into some food leftovers, I’d still rather have bare feet than socks, when I do it. And even before we decided on our new rule, sometimes our daughters or their friends stepped into something and then I made them remove their socks anyway. The same applied when they came with wet socks. So why not make it a rule from the beginning? If their feet get dirty, a least their socks won’t.
  And then there is still the issue of slipping, which is a serious one in my opinion. When we were still wearing socks and our daughters were still children and playing around the house, frequently someone slipped and fell. In the stairway it was especially dangerous. Since we introduced the “no socks”-rule nothing like that ever happened again. So, I guess, this alone is quite a reason for not allowing socks in the house.
  On the other hand, I just can’t think of any plausible reason why you shouldn’t make people remove their socks in the house. The only arguments I have ever heard were 1) that feet were getting cold and 2) that some people (like our girls) are reluctant to show their feet. Now, as for 1), our floors are always warm due to floor heating and actually your feet will get hot if you keep on the socks. As for 2), I think it is somewhat irrational. I have never heard anybody insist on wearing gloves all the time because they are ashamed to show their hands. So, what’s the matter with feet? In my opinion, if you care for your feet properly, they can be really nice to look at and positively contribute to a person’s appearance. Before, I mentioned those photo studios that do make you slip off the shoes and socks as well. Since our kids were small, we went to the photo studio almost every year to get our pictures taken. And every time, the photographer insisted that feet had to be bare. When the girls were like 15 and 17, they suddenly discovered that they found this “embarrassing”. However, luckily, our photographer insisted that he didn’t want to photograph us in shoes or socks and that bare feet were necessary to create that intimate feeling of being at home. So, there you had it: Bare feet are nicer to look at than socks and they are associated with being comfy and at home – because at home you are supposed to have bare feet.
  So, I don’t think that feeling “weird” about one’s feet outweighs all the arguments I brought up against wearing socks in the house. I do notice, of course, that some people (mostly teens or young people around our daughters’ age, like 18-20 or so) have this kind of feelings and when they come to visit, they tend to hide their bare feet by sitting on them or hiding them under the table. But until now, nobody ever died in our house because he or she wasn’t allowed socks . Actually, the mother of a friend told me some weeks ago that she was glad to send her daughter to our house, because she’s rarely barefoot normally and in our house she had to give her feet some freedom at last.
  So, to sum up, I still think that there are actually plenty of good reasons for not allowing socks in the house and almost nothing to argue for the opposite. Now, I would also be very much interested if anyone else has a “bare feet only” house rule like this and how they “defend” it when someone questions it. At least, this discussions shows that we are not the only ones. :)
  Best regards, Julia

  Reply
• 

  Diana Elizabeth

  Thursday, November 2, 2017

  Hi Julia,

  This is a great discussion, thanks for joining! I like hearing your thoughts (and everyone). I had never heard the requirement of anyone taking off socks. I would agree that a preference of with no shoes or no shoes AND no socks leaves more to be debated, or rather, discussed. For us, we just prefer no dirt, when we are home we are barefoot, I tend to get hot with socks on. When it comes to guests, as long as shoes are off, I’m fine – I am not a wellness spa that would like them to have an epic no sock experience in my home, only to visit and be comfortable :)

  I also think that some homes are never 100% dust, hair or crumb free floors – especially with dogs and children. So to avoid any weird stuff accidentally sticking to guests feet, socks are totally fine with us. We also take the approach that our floors are floors, they will not be as clean as the dining room table, but we can just limit the dirt dragged in the home and avoid furniture, rugs and hardwood floors and carpet to be much cleaner.

  Someone told me though that having shoes on is better than feet on carpet as if the oils on feet are harder to get out. I was quite shocked because even if so, I’d much rather have barefoot than a shoe on my carpet! Wondering if anyone else has heard this?

  All in all, we just want a cleaner house, and socks on if guests feel comfortable is fine for us. My parents leave slippers by the door for guests, a typical Asian thing. :) I’d love to hear more too – socks on or off since we all might agree to be a shoes off discussion here!

  Reply
• 

  Nellie

  Thursday, November 2, 2017

  This is an interesting discussion! But first of all, I have to say that for anyone from outside the US, keeping shoes on in the house seems quite a strange idea anyway. For me as a kid, taking off shoes when entering the house was always totally obvious. And going to someone else’s place without removing shoes was considered very impolite. Later, I noticed that in American movies, everyone seems to wear shoes in the house, even on the sofa or the bed. I have always thought this to be quite absurd. If you are not looking for a way to keep your floors constantly dirty, there is absolutely no reason why I would allow anyone wearing shoes to walk through my front door.
  I think the question about socks is more interesting and probably more controversial. In our family, we have a clear policy about that: Anyone entering our house has to take off their shoes and socks at the front door. We also put a sign there, saying “Take off your shoes and socks, please. Bare feet only in the house”. Of course, there are some exceptions: If a plumber comes by, we don’t require him to remove his socks, for example. But with our family and friends, we always insist on bare feet.
  Most households I know just require removing shoes, but don’t have a rule about socks. Some people consider it just a little too much to require bare feet in the house. And obviously, socks are not as dirty as shoes.
  However, I still think that wearing socks in the house is just as unnecessary and illogical as wearing shoes. I can think of a bunch of reasons for that. Since this is not my first discussion about it, I once took the effort of writing them down:
  – our floors are warm enough, which rules out the only reason for wearing socks that I would accept: Cold feet.
  – most floors are slippery, when you walk on them with just socks on your feet. Especially slipping on stairs can result in serious injury and I don’t want to be responsible for our guests hurting themselves just because they unnecessarily were wearing socks. As a matter of fact, we decided to ban socks from our house, when one of our daughters’ friends slipped in our house, bumped his head and his parents blamed us for having slippery floors.
  – it is more natural and healthy to be barefoot, it stimulates the nerves in your feet and makes your feet strong.
  – for reasons of hygiene alone, socks should not be allowed in the house. Most of the time, people are wearing socks in their shoes which makes them smelly, whereas on bare feet, bacteria have no chance to develop. I don’t think, I have to bear the smell of anyone’s socks in my house, especially during summer…
  – I want people to be comfortable in my house. And what is more comfortable than having bare feet on a cozy couch? Sure, some people have a problem showing their bare feet, but they will get used to it and understand that it is so much more comfy to have bare feet. Also, the atmosphere is automatically somewhat more intimate and informal
  – bare feet just look much, much nicer than shoes, not to speak of socks. Why do you think virtually all photographers require you to take off your shoes and socks, when you get your pictures taken in the studio? I prefer to see someone’s feet, rather than their socks, the same way that I prefer to see someone’s hands rather than gloves. It also gives us an incentive to care more about our feet and make them look pretty, if you know that people will see them.
  – finally, it is important to have a good relationship to your body. In the beginning, our 2 daughters protested against our new rule because they feel embarrassed when someone sees their bare feet. So we discussed about it, and finally me and my husband Marc agree that this is actually precisely why we should do it. People feel exposed with bare feet, because they normally don’t show their feet to anyone. So, having everyone barefoot is probably the best way of getting used to it and accept it as something perfectly normal.

  To sum up, I think that if you really think about it, a “bare feet only” rule seems like the most logical option. True, some visitors find it strange or embarrassing at first, but when they see that we are serious about this, they usually comply. And on the other hand, quite a few of our friends told me that they really liked this rule and we know one family that has introduced the same rule at their house due to inspiration from us.

  I would like to hear if there are more people around who have opted for a rule like this and how people react to it?
  Regards, Julia

  Reply
  • 

    Rach

    Tuesday, May 8, 2018

    Hi Julie would love to hear more from you on the shoes and socks off rule
  • 

    M.A.

    Sunday, September 2, 2018

    I would refuse to come in your house if that is the case. I don’t mind removing my shoes but I would insist on keeping my socks on my feet. First of all, I consider my feet to be ugly and I am embarrassed by them. Secondly, I don’t agree that being barefoot is most comfortable for me. I love the feel of socks. Thirdly, I know I’m a rarity but I do not own a pair of sandals, flip flops or any other opened toed shoe and I rarely shoes without socks unless I’m walking to beach.
• 

  Michelle Lanciotti

  Wednesday, August 2, 2017

  bare feet in the house is very unsanitary….foot oils get in the carpets that are not able to be steam cleaned. I have a no shoes in house and no bare feet rule…you must wear socks or slippers.

  Reply
• 

  aurora

  Saturday, July 15, 2017

  I LUCKY ENOUGH TO LIVE IN CALIFORNIA so I’m in sandals or flipflops all the time.the only time I wear closed toe shoes is at work.the minute I walk in the door the shoes come off.my friends know my shoes off policy and have not had any problems with any disagreements. I had one new acquaintance who initially declined but after seeing all the other people enjoying the party at my house with their toes in the grass quickly took off her shoes and ive convinced her its much cleaner for her own house

  Reply
• 

  Ada

  Saturday, May 27, 2017

  What bothers me is when people make blanket statements like, “there’s no reason to wear shoes inside.” Having a mother with a disability that gives her little to no control over her left leg has made me so much more conscious of people with physical limitations and the diversity of needs for different people. For instance, my mother has an extremely hard time taking her shoes off because she cannot balance on one leg, and the traction and orthotic components of her shoes makes “her shoes” a necessity for her at nearly all times of the day. If people imposing this rule truly do not have potential guests that could be burdened by it, then I wonder about the diversity of friends (or lack thereof) they have. Personally, I understand being a clean freak and why this rule may appeal to some. At the same time, like one poster pointed out, I try and remember that my quirky gravitation towards anti-bacterial/anti-mircobial may not actually be supported by scientifically proven best practices. Not trying to be harsh but just wanted to point out an issue that seems to be overlooked by most of the comments here. While I agree that your floors may take less wear by instituting this rule for family members residing in your house. I firmly believe that a host should accommodate their guests and follow their lead – not the other way around.

  Reply
  • 

    Diana Elizabeth

    Saturday, May 27, 2017

    Hi Ada, though I don’t have a friend with a disability yet, I sympathize with what you are feeling regarding your mother – as I’m sure anyone would – shoes off home or not. I wouldn’t go as far to assume any of the above commenters above would strictly enforce it if it meant a friend couldn’t enjoy their welcome if their shoes were a necessity. The shoes off is more of a preference. Perhaps a good solution to meet in the middle for your mom and any friends with shoes off preference home would be disposable shoe covered booties (our plumber and bug spray just do this on their own). That way both parties are happy and can have a comfortable visit!
• 

  Jaden

  Wednesday, April 12, 2017

  I’ve had my own apartment for two years now, with new carpet installed before I moved in and tile floors in my kitchen and bathroom, and not once since then have shoes gone past my front hallway. I’ve converted a lot of friends too, but I still wish more people here in NYC thought the way we do. Kicking off my shoes is still the thing I look forward to most when I get home from the office, and crossing over from the dark side is one of the best decisions I have ever made! By the way, I’m writing this with my feet up on the couch relaxing. I guess I’m living the life, huh?

  Now to try going barefoot more often… (not that there’s anything wrong with being in socks)

  Reply
  • 

    Diana Elizabeth

    Wednesday, April 12, 2017

    Hi Jaden, ah NYC life!! I love that city so much. It’s fun to convert friends, and right now I’m sitting at my desk with both of my feet up, crossed. Can’t keep my chair clean if I had shoes on – and would be awfully uncomfortable. The freedom of the toesies!
• 

  Chloe

  Sunday, April 9, 2017

  I just read your no shoes rule article and I love it. I recently purchased a new home that had double plush carpeting, hardwood floors, tile and Spanish marble. So all my guest remove their shoes and go barefoot inside. I agree it’s much more comfortable and my guests love the softness of my carpet. I’ve always been the girl who removes her shoes when entering someone’s home and go barefoot. It’s a great rule to have and much more comfy and great way to show off your new pedi.

  Reply
  • 

    Diana Elizabeth

    Wednesday, April 12, 2017

    A new home is such a great excuse to implement the shoes off request. When I sit passenger I often kick off my shoes in the car too :) I just like the feeling of bare feet!
• 

  Joe

  Friday, February 3, 2017

  Thank you for your reply! One article explained that the shoes on couch “does not bog down” the show with such trivial things. I personally cannot stand shoes on home furniture especially couches. I am not a germaphobe per se, but even this country boy draws a line somewhere!

  Reply
• 

  Joe

  Friday, February 3, 2017

  For me, it depends on the sheer amount of tile/carpet/flooring. At my old house, I didn’t care if shoes were removed or not (outside of trudging through feces/mud/cut grass/etc) because most of it wasn’t carpeted. As a “country boy,” I walked around barefooted/socked until I was gifted a pair of slippers. Once we combined households, I rarely walk around in shoes (only when I/we are in a rush). I have gotten to the point of looking at where hosts place their shoes to see if I can wear them. I do feel self-conscious wearing them now. What brought here was a “no shoes on the couch” search.

  Reply
  • 

    Diana Elizabeth

    Friday, February 3, 2017

    Hi Joe! I have heard it’s harder with Country folks, it makes total sense. I like that you know to look to see if the host has their shoes on, it’s so helpful to know what lead to take – I’ve noticed signs are put outside for first time guests to avoid the awkwardness which helps! :) Hope your couch is nice and shoeless, and thank you so much for letting me know how you found my page, I always like to know! Cheers!
• 

  Lauren

  Monday, December 19, 2016

  I also have a “shoes off socks off” rule as well at my place. Socks off does seem unusual, but our house has polished wooden floorboards, and linoleum as flooring, so wearing socks makes it easy to fall or trip. Everyone complies with it, some guests raise an eyebrow. I agree with Steven, there is no need to wear shoes or socks inside.

  Reply
• 

  BAReFOOt

  Sunday, November 27, 2016

  You are aware that a key reason we don’t get sick all the time ist exaxtly *because* of the (good) germs populating your skin. If you kill them, it will be repopulated in a matter of minutes to hours. Probably with a sub-optimal flora to what you had, and possibly with harmful bacteria and fungi.
  The other way to breed harmful germsy is a warm, moist and/or oxygen-poor environment. Aka shoes.

  Nature outside has a balanced eco-system too. Rain and microorhanisms keep everything tidy. Try watching how long a small dead animal will stay nasty befor it is eaten up and vanished.
  It’s our unnatural spaces like living rooms wiped with chemicals and sterilized and our bathrooms and shoes that are breeding bad germs.

  So going barefoot outside, in nature, not in the gutter of a street, will actually kill the bad shoe germs and coat your feet in protective bacteria and healthy soil minerals that keep it rhat way. Apart from the great and arousing/sexy feeling.

  And if your feet actually itch when naked outside, it may be from them not being used to being in a natural non-humid encironment and need to learn to keep a healthy akin humidity level by themselves first.

  Reply
• 

  Alice

  Wednesday, October 19, 2016

  We have a “shoes and socks off” rule in our house. It’s shoes off to keep the floors clean, but it is also socks off because I believe that socks should not be worn outside of wearing shoes. They make your feet hot and it feels a lot better and is healthier to go bare foot. Some guests complain, especially in winter because of cold feet, but after being barefoot for a little while your body will send blood down to your feet and they will warm up. Socks hinder this, so paradoxically going barefoot is warmer.

  Reply
  • 

    M.A.

    Sunday, September 2, 2018

    I see nothing wrong with shoes off rule, but I would absolutely refuse to remove my socks. First of all, my feet are ugly and I am embarrassed in my bare feet. Secondly, I will only go barefoot in my own residence.
• 

  Antonia

  Wednesday, August 24, 2016

  I’m from Sweden and there it’s always shoes off at the door, there’s a box of slippers hanging next to the door of my dad’s house but no one has ever bothered using them. Not even in the middle of the winter. I think there’s a consensus that unless you’re the one cleaning the house you don’t drag outdoor shoes inside. Swedes rarely go for carpet floors so it’s not really about that. A Swede would consider walking into someone else’s home with shoes on to be uncivilized. I moved to Holland 6 years ago, here it’s common to keep your shoes on but at least most people ask if the shoes stays on or comes off when they visit. I’m just too polite to ask them to take them off, then I spend the whole visit regretting that I didn’t. The in laws however always forget, but I’m trying to tell myself that it’s not on purpose. Now I’m putting a sign up!

  Reply
  • 

    Diana Elizabeth

    Friday, August 26, 2016

    Hi Antonia! I think I’d fit nicely in Sweden, I have always wanted to visit. Has this always been a Sweden tradition like Japan (with shoes off)? I am hoping a movement happens in America and it definitely is more so than it was a decade ago. I don’t ask handymen workers to take off their shoes unless they are going on our white carpet, then I just ask nicely, in an upbeat tone. I could always just offer disposable booties. I had a plumber wear a pair on his own! I think it’s a great idea to put a sign up! ;)