Sharing my personal plans that not only sound good as I share them, but feel good in my soul to find a little more rest, finish reading some books, curl up with coffee table books filled with inspirational photos and see where this year takes me. Let me explain the changes and why the shift…
Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. – James 4:14 ESV
I knew he was thinking. But there we were, and have been for years, and I started to laugh because here’s the truth – I take a lot of not Instagram worthy photos. Every 1 out of 20 might work, maybe. I told Benjamin, “You should be flattered that I feel this comfortable around you to see all these behind the scenes bad photos and expressions and vulnerability I’m showing you here!”
He’s the best. I wouldn’t be where I am today without him and this year I’m planning on shifting my priorities and focus just a little. I had mentioned what was next after the home project in this post. Don’t worry. I’m still going to be here blogging and doing the social media thing, but instead of using my time heavily focusing on my own personal brand growth and building this year, I’m going to be putting more of my focus at home.
Why I’m telling myself things are changing
I want Benjamin to not worry about really anything at all and focus on his job. The reason is because this year is a big year for him with great potential for his career and if I can help support him, it’ll be the best for us in the long run, and we’re a team. I realize this is what stay at home wives and moms do, and their role is such an important one for their family and future. It just occurred to me after this year that the potential is there, and I want to help.
It also made me recall when Benjamin and I were engaged and went through roles we’d have in the house. He would take out the garbage and handle the car repairs, and I would cook and clean and do laundry. That exercise from a premarital counseling book was actually so helpful – only he has taken over laundry now and I am SO thankful for it. If I can be honest, after 9 years of marriage sometime I’ve forgotten my role as a wife, as Benjamin’s helper, and I would be so busy with my own work that I failed in other areas which would stress us both out!
So instead of me so heavily focused on the hustle or growth – and truthfully beating myself up at times, over my own performance, I can walk away from that pressure – mentally anyway. I am hoping that by doing so it means I will enjoy everything I do. I want time to just antique shop half the day, or take care of the home projects that I would do in quarantine that I never got around to doing – and in return, this might make me a better creator anyway! Less pressure hustling = more time at home doing what I love = blogging and sharing more of what I love = happy me! I really don’t think it’ll be a bad thing!
I’ve spoken to a few close friends about this tiny shift of change, or rather an intentional focus, and since most of them have already been in the role, they understand. And seeing my friends and hearing what they’ve done really makes me feel comfortable going this route. It just occurred to me the end of last year when Benjamin was just killing it (in a good way) with his job and I just realized maybe I should do my part to make his life a bit easier so he can be a success again this year. I’ve already seen and felt a change in how we live our daily lives!
But it’s been a month so far and I have to admit it’s been difficult. About 12 years of working for myself bringing in a full-time income all those years has its habits. Like always thinking of new ways to make money, always chasing, building, growing and along with social media pressures – which I am at the moment feeling very negative about with the censorship – I have some ingrained work habits that are hard to undo. I don’t want to stop working, never, but I want to remember it’s OK to pivot.
Redefining my goals for 2021
- Take the work that naturally comes in.
- Stop worry about stats, likes, or pressure of posting and the performance.
- Focus on an orderly home.
- Make dinners and meals!
- Host more, relationships are everything.
- Have the fridge full (I’m actually kinda excited about this)
- Look into healthy eating options (also excited about this)
- Do only the things and take the jobs that make me happy and feel creative.
- Have more time for gardening.
- See my friends even more and be present.
- Have time to dedicate volunteering and supporting an organization/event that supports Veterans – it has been on my to-do list for over a year! Suggestions welcome!
I have worked so hard these past few years, like so hard. Benjamin has been so sweet to say that because of my hard work we were able to do the things to the home and he’s giving me some nice credit there, and it feels good to know I contributed.
Time is a vapor, life is fleeting, and 2020 really showed me what was important in my life and how I want to spend my time and what I focus on. I also want to be eternity focused.
I’m sure in a few months I’ll be hitting my long to-do list as always, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it and hopefully have less on that list because I’ve set boundaries and I know my priorities. For now, these plans not only sound good, but feel good in my soul to find a little more rest, finish reading some books, curl up with coffee table books filled with inspirational photos and see where this year takes me.
I just wanted to share that truthful part of my life. It seems so strange to share because it’s not like an announcement that anyone would need to know but I just like to blog.
As always thanks for spending some of your day with me. I am thankful for you reading, for allowing me to share, and for making what I do enjoyable!
Dress: Lilly Pulitzer c/o
Diana Elizabeth was cleaning up the other day and Benjamin said, “So what’s our next project?” really, he said it. She was stunned. There are ideas but nothing that is driving her nuts yet so maybe they will start saving again for the next project! Who knew he was ready for more?