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what to do when friend unfollow unfriend you on social media

What to do when a friend unfollows you

what to do when friend unfollow unfriend you on social media

I’ve decided to make this as light hearted as possible because there may be some of you who are shaking out of furry, or your heart may be tender because you just found out someone unfollowed you. But not just anyone unfollowed you – maybe it was someone you know, kind of know, or your best friend’s mom. Well, I’ve been unfollowed by friends moms, grandma’s, sisters, my own wedding photographer, friendors, and talented folks that suddenly felt like I was crouching in on their career space – a mix of old and long time friends.

I’m here to tell you that you can move past the emotions you may be feeling now.

I’m here to tell you that you can move past the emotions you may be feeling now.

There are a topics I want to go over to break this down so you don’t fall into self pity, become self-doubtful, and you can say hi when you run into those who unfollowed you, because it’s totally fine! First, let me say that about 4 years ago I once cleared out my feed (unfollowed some people) when Instagram was fairly new – there was no algorithm. Today I would never ever, intentionally unfollow someone I know personally – and we are both following each other. I also forgot who I unfollowed so I can’t find them to refollow if I had hurt their feelings which was not intentional.

Today I would never ever, intentionally unfollow someone I know personally – and we are both following each other.

Even if it’s all babies, even if they’re _______. It doesn’t take much effort to scroll past their photo on a feed and avoid hurting a friend’s feelings – someone you personally KNOW.

Why I have/had an unfollow app (I no longer do)

  1. Business. I have had brands severe ties or vendors unfollow which shows me our business relationship might have changed. I want to know about this so I’m not investing too much any longer – this has absolutely helped and it’s more of an awareness rather than a spying incentive.
  2. Personal. Because it is good to know if I’ve hurt a friend’s feelings and not be caught off guard – to tackle the issue immediately. I’ll explain later in this post.

A good reason to use it – I have a friend who runs a business and she uses it to see if a PC who follows is no longer a PC (potential customer), she’s able to move on, no hard feelings.

Why I no longer use it – The app I was using stopped working and I’m too lazy and uninterested to find a new one – this may change but for now I like the peace. I don’t follow many people anyway so knowing who is following and unfollowing doesn’t matter to me. I also don’t care about people I don’t know who use the follow and unfollow method to grow their following. I know it’s a marketing method and it doesn’t bother me, as I’m not forced to follow back. You do what works for you, brand/person/account.

The first time I realized a friend unfollowed me

My mouth dropped as I thought – Are you serious?  She follows 800 people, including Justin Timberlake but unfollows ME and she knows me! I took her to a party as my date and we’ve gone to lunches! 

That would be my first, inappropriate, angry thoughts from my first unfollow rejection. Since, I’ve learned how to handle an unfollow by a friend because hey it’s life, and unfortunately, it didn’t stop there.

How to handle when your friend unfollows you

We don’t need to worry about people who unfollow us who we don’t know. 

I once had an instance where a good, longtime girlfriend unfollowed me, and I considered her a forever friend so it really caught me off guard. When I noticed I had been unfollowed, I immediately picked up the phone and called her. We’re talking within a minute. I left a voice message –

“Hey (name), I noticed an unfollow, and I couldn’t help but want to just call and talk because I’m concerned I did something that may have hurt your feelings or offended you which was not my intention. You’ve been such a good friend in the past and I want to make sure we can continue our friendship into the future because you’re really important to me. So I’d love to talk, I’m not upset but I have a feeling you are, so please call or text me, whatever you feel most comfortable doing.”

I delivered the longer message a soft voice, because I was SO sad that I not only seemed to hurt a friend’s feelings unintentionally, but that I might be losing a friend. I elaborated over what I last posted which was strictly a business post, not to be taken as competition or disrespectful, though I was sorry if it was taken that way.

I received a text back a few days later, and her response didn’t leave me reassured we’d talk again in the future. I even asked friends, “Do I unfollow her back?” and every single one said, “No, because your heart isn’t in the right place and you would only be doing it to get back at her.” Thank God for good friends with wonderful hearts! 

That was quite a few years ago, I’m sad to say that I used to know her. I continued to follow her for over a year – but I did get a little sad because I didn’t know her anymore and eventually unfollowed just because time and distance made me realize I was looking at a stranger’s feed. I continually wish her well and I know my heart is in the right place. Who is to say that one day life sorts itself out? I have had many friends come back into my life unexpectedly.

You may not get a response or one that makes sense, but you reach out because your heart is concerned about the relationship, not the follow.

If a good friend unfollows you – pick up the phone, immediately. Or text, if that’s your kind of relationship with that person. But don’t get in contact for an answer, reach out because you genuinely care about your friend and you want to make sure s/he is OK. You are more than likely not going to get a response if any, that makes sense. But reach out because your heart is concerned about the relationship, not the follow. If you see them in person, don’t let it be awkward – you didn’t do anything. If anything, you were the bigger person and reached out so you have a good conscience.

Remember that person might not really be your friend

My dad had to remind me that many people are acquaintances – including your best friend’s sister or mom – or former clients. I know we look at the people in our lives and their lives as extensions and we carry love onto them too, but we don’t have to keep in touch with everyone or follow, or like everyone’s stuff.

Remember we are human, we are strong and weak in certain areas

I had a friend ask me, “Haven’t you unfollowed someone because you saw their life and it made you jealous or sad?” I looked at her like she was crazy and said, “NOT PEOPLE I KNOW PERSONALLY!”

She agreed, and then pointed out we each struggle with something. Some people struggle with envy. Some are depressed. Some are having a hard time with life in general. Some are in a weak moment and can’t celebrate you, while others are able to. Just understand this and allow this to be a possible answer. And then read this article on how to not take it personally, even if they mean it personally.

As for you, choose to celebrate others, it will keep your mind healthy.

Remember some view social media differently

If you use it for your business, it’s going to appeal to some people, but not all, including friends – they may want to be in touch to see your personal life but not every post of self-promotion is intriguing to them.

But my business is personal to me! And if my friends care about me, they would care about my business too! 

I have to say even with my real friends, I don’t want to see some of the things they post regularly. It’s not my jam, but, it doesn’t pain me to still cheer them on and be OK with it. Your real friends will stick around, your finicky followers will not, and that’s OK too. Appeal to the right audience.

Remember it will only be as awkward as you allow it to be

So a girlfriend’s sister unfollowed me on Instagram. She had just had a big life event when she had unfollowed so who knows what was going on in her life. Months later I saw her at a party and happily caught up with her. I’m not the one who made the move, so why should I avoid or be weird about it? Don’t. Be kind, say hello, it’s JUST social media.

Remember to allow the possibility of finding that you may need to apologize

Please be open to hearing if you have hurt a friend’s feelings or done something you are unaware of. Enter the conversation humbly, be compassionate, but most of all know that a relationship is far more important than a follow and that’s why you are reaching out. And even if the unfollow doesn’t make sense, listen and accept it while still being able to love that person, off social media in whatever form that looks like.

Have a story to share? What are your thoughts? How have you handled when a friend unfollows? 

FAQ: How to prepare your home for Airbnb and VRBO

Thinking of listing your rental home or your own home into an Airbnb or VRBO? Amber Eilers here, guest blogging today. A little bit about my husband Carson and I, we own 10 vacation properties in the Phoenix Valley and have years of experience with guest rentals that I’d love to share with you. You may have seen our vacation rentals as the backdrop in some of Diana’s posts (like here)!

We are asked constantly by friends about the logistics and must-do’s to consider in order to make the process beneficial and comfortable for our guests. Here are our top 10 things to consider when you list your home on Airbnb or VRBO!

1 / Insurance and security deposit

Renting out your home to total strangers can be a little intimidating! Make sure you have the right protection, take advantage of the insurance policy offered through your booking platform (our guests say for the policy), and also collect a minimal security deposit upfront for incidentals (we usually charge $500). Yes this is a little more work to keep track of, but let’s say a guest forgets something and asks to have it mailed back- you can offer to ship it to them out of their security deposit funds. Another good option- if a guest damages something of lower value, say stained bedding, you can replace it out of the security deposit without the hassle of filing an insurance claim for such a small amount. Oh and last detail on insurance, make sure your actual home policy covers you for short-term renters.

2 / Mandatory bi-weekly cleanings for 2 week+ stays

Sometimes we’ll get inquiries for longer stays, a month or so, and when we do we always include a fee for a mandatory bi-weekly cleaning. A lot can happen in a month, so having access every other week to keep the property well-maintained is a must.

Make sure your actual home policy covers you for short-term renters.

3 / Double sets of sheets and towels – white ones

We buy the top rated sheets and towels off Amazon or Costco. It’s key to be able to perform a quick turnover when one guest checks out and the next checks in on the same day. I’ve found its helpful to offer make-up wipes to guests so they don’t have to rub eye makeup all over your towels. We have two identical sets of white sheets for the entire house so the cleaners can strip the beds and take away the dirty sheets to clean later, and make the beds with the back-up set in your storage.

4 / Have a locked storage location

Speaking of storage, each of our vacation rentals has a keyed locking storage room where we keep all kinds of back-up supplies and extras.

5 / Dedicated cleaning staff AND still checking property yourself

We also have color printed images of how the home should look when a guest checks in. Think about it – if the cleaners only ever see the house at the end after the guests have moved things around etc., how else are they supposed to know what it looked like when the guests arrived? This is also why we personally visit each house after the cleaners are done, but before the new guest comes.

We personally visit each house after the cleaners are done, but before the new guest comes.

6 / Guide book for guests

A guide book filled with important info, local spots, wifi, trash day etc. Guests love having access to these important details right away. If you’re tech savvy enough, set an easy wifi password, not that jumble of letters and numbers that comes as the preset on the router.

7 / Welcome basket

Who doesn’t love a little basket of goodies on vacation? We include a few water bottles and snacks in a small counter basket along with a tag that lets guests know to help themselves to the snacks. For what it costs, maybe $10 at most?, it sends a welcome message and starts everyone off happy!

8 / Two lock boxes on property

Two – because it’s better to be safe. You never want to get that call at 11 pm, guests just got in late from the airport, it’s dark, they’re tired, and of course the lockbox is jammed and they can’t get in. Perfect reason to have a back-up right on site!

9 / Best in class photography and videography

People want to see and get a feel for where they’re going to spend their vacation- so let them see! We spend a lot of time making sure our homes are beautiful and welcoming- show guests! Hire a photographer to show how light and airy, or even a videographer to take arial drone photos of the surrounding area so they can get a feel for not only the home but the neighborhood as well – that is your first showing.

10 / Reviews, reviews, reviews!

So you’ve done the hard work, your guests are thrilled, so make sure to follow up and ask for that five star review! And if for some reason something goes wrong during their stay, say a toilet backs-up, be available and communicate. People understand things are sometimes out of our control as the home owner, but good communication and a little sympathy goes a long way- and dropping by a nice bottle of wine with an apology doesn’t hurt either! Strive to give guests a 5 star experience they will want to write about!

Photos by Diana Elizabeth Photography.

 About Amber Eilers

Amber and her husband Carson are serial real estate investors and entrepreneurs. They specialize in the development, sale, purchase, and management of local residential and commercial projects, and have flipped over 200 homes. They also own and operate several high end vacation rentals in Scottsdale. Additionally, they own a boutique hotel in Strawberry, AZ.

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