Healing After a Broken Engagement

Healing after a broken engagement
^^ Home with my beloved pup Paris, over Thanksgiving weekend when I was supposed to be on my honeymoon. Feeling like I was living a double life, present in one spot but my mind in another.

I never intended to publicly share my story about my broken engagement, a wedding called off three weeks before the wedding. But what if finally sharing it could heal? That’s all I want. That is the entire point of this post. And with my husband’s blessing and the encouragement of my friends, here we go as I share tips on healing after a broken engagement. 

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR ENGAGEMENT IS CALLED OFF? HOW DO YOU HEAL, FORGIVE, HANDLE THE BROKEN HEART AND HOW DO YOU MOVE ON?
DO I THINK ABOUT IT TODAY MARRIED?

 

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"In this book, Diana uses her own story of pain to build a bond with her audience concerning a topic that has been minimized and misunderstood by much of the counseling community. I commend her for her transparency and honesty. She steps out of the shadows and extends a hand of friendship to women who will find someone who truly understands their pain. I hope this book will be the beginning of a healing journey from shame and rejection to an awakening of hope and confidence for many women."

My Broken Engagement Story:

The night he called off the wedding


It was October 30, I remember because the next night was Halloween. He came over and I had just come out of the shower, semi-wet hair, thick glasses on, and ready to finalize wedding plans which was three weeks away.

I walked down the stairs to meet him in the living room, and there he was. Then he said it. He couldn’t do it any longer.

After on and off again for two years and his cries to come begging and saying he was ready to get married. Even while engaged, there were a few moments when he would freakout, and he voiced hesitations without reason. And there we were again in that moment, me and him, him once again leaving me, like clock work, three weeks before the wedding.

Obviously deposits were nonrefundable. Time and emotions were nonrefundable – nothing was refundable at this point. After questioning why he came back at all claiming it was God who told him to marry me, he coldly stated he changed his mind and he believed marriage was a choice and responded with, “I unchoose you.”

At that very moment, I felt like my entire being died – if hearts could shatter into a million pieces, mine certainly did just that. I may have begged him to stay, to change his mind, I know I wanted to, but I don’t know if I actually did because I felt like it was a blur, like I almost blacked out. Those hurtful words were my reality as it set in and those words cut my heart into pieces.  I knew what he said was permanent, and unchangeable, and I could and would never shake them from my mind. I wish I never heard it but at the same time, it was what I needed to hear to realize I had no choice in this decision and I had to move on.

“Unchoosing” me would haunt me for the rest of my life even if we did work out – so it was done.

That night, it was so fuzzy. I was trying to navigate my feelings of panic, anger, pain, yet trying to be coherent realizing these very last moments would be the last I’d ever spend with him. It was bittersweet, I wanted to savor it but I had such a broken heart and I also wanted to be strong and not be dramatic knowing that this is how he would remember these last moments with me.

Very few words were exchanged from how he’d probably regret his decision for the rest of his life, to me asking him, why, to eventually him telling me, “I love you” as he walked out the door out of my life. I uttered, “I love you too,” and so very badly wish I hadn’t.  I wish I said, “No, you don’t, this isn’t love,” but I didn’t, because I did love him and in those fleeting moments, sometimes you can’t help but speak your truth. Broken as I was, I hated him and loved him at the same time.

I fell into my best friend’s arms sobbing that night. She had come through the door at the tail end. I don’t know how I slept that night, but I did. Then another best friend came as I was passed along to the next to make sure I wasn’t alone. I couldn’t be alone.

I was lifeless for months after. A complete zombie trying to survive. I felt numb. I never wanted to be with anyone more in my entire life than him – for so many years, through all the on and off again drama. I cried so hard one night I gave myself a bloody nose. I screamed out loud from the pain in my heart that I was afraid my neighbors would call the cops thinking I was getting murdered. I dropped to almost 100 lbs. I’m 5’8″.

Every day felt like I was living a double life. Though I was physically at work when I should have been in Palm Springs for the wedding. I was at my friend’s apartment when I should have been walking down the aisle. It was hard going home for Thanksgiving when I planned to be in Fiji and so on – but once the calendar passed the planned days together – the day we’d return from the planned honeymoon (which he never booked), my life felt like it was mine again. But it took a village to get me there, to help me heal and forgive.

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5 Stars on Amazon
5/5

THE NORMAL FEELINGS AFTER A broken engagement


It’s unlike any other breakup on any level – you really did love that person, you said yes you would marry them. You had dreams and had visions that lasted to the end of your days – there was a promise made they would be secure, a wedding was scheduled. There was a dress (or suit) to wear, songs to be played and a honeymoon to discover.  An engagement to you meant a commitment to marry, you already felt like you were married and just waiting for the official day. You put your mind and your heart in that space, you were there, it was done. But suddenly, you find that dream disappeared, that person is now a stranger.

I never saw the Sex and the City movie, friends referred to it when I went though the dark time and when I did watch the movie later, I cried. When there is a scene of abandonment, it will make my eyes swell – because I know that feeling, so know that I know how you feel at this very moment.

Although I have fully moved on from the heartache, I still remembered it. To this day, I still can, but not to the same powerful extent as that actual moment, so I hope you find peace knowing that. Feeling it doesn’t mean I still care about it, but it’s trauma and trauma is a big deal. What I can tell you is, you will not continue to hurt like you do this very moment forever, I promise. You will be able to feel empathy for those going through it as I do and you are the reason I share my story in hopes to tell you as a friend, you will be OK. Your heart will heal, and you will move forward and you will absolutely, positively be happy again. Let me help you process these feelings and remind you there is hope.

When your wedding is called off, every day leading to those important days are confusing. You feel like you’re in a daze, denial. It doesn’t seem real, it’s humiliating, you feel abandoned. 

You might be experiencing the following thoughts or feelings and I want to give a little encouragement about them.

  • You feel disappointed in yourself

    as if you made the wrong decision, and you should have seen it coming but you didn’t. The pain will literally bring you down to your knees. But you didn’t know a broken engagement was coming or else you would have never said yes. Don’t blame yourself or be embarrassed. This has nothing to do with you.

  • You feel like you are living a double life,

    the wrong life. You would be or should be doing ____ but you’re not, you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing solo. But life goes on, and the path you are going down will be beautiful you can’t even imagine but have faith. If I survived and found my happy ending, you will too.

  • I had to get real.

    The burning words, “I unchoose you,” meant he had time to decide and move on sooner than I did. When I heard those words I thought, well then, I unchoose you back. And I had to teach my heart that love is a choice and that I had to detach my heart from that person. If someone has walked away from you then s/he has already moved on, and that is the reality to know that deposits, money, they would sacrifice all of that to not be with you – harsh. Fine, then if it’s time for you to be strong and move forward without them.

  • The mornings were the worst.

    As John Mayer sings in Dreaming with a Broken Heart, “When you’re dreaming with a broken heart / The waking up is the hardest part / You roll outta bed and down on your knees / And for the moment you can hardly breathe…” I truly felt like I dreamt with a broken heart, I had changed my social media status to that exact line. I applauded myself when I got into bed that I had survived another day, and waking up in the morning was discouraging realizing I had to triumph through another full day – until one day, it didn’t feel like survival any longer and with each morning came new curiosities and hope. One day you will wake up excited for the possibilities.

  • The nights were lonesome.

    At night silence sets in and thoughts can wander. However I would be on the phone or be with people until I was tired. Then I would journal. I would pray and I would read God’s word and his promises. And I would also pray for my ex and then give thanks for a day closer to healing. Always close the night with a thankful heart. Your heart may feel broken, but don’t go to bed angry, find your silver lining and say a prayer for yourself to heal. If you feel like you need a friend, I wrote a book that is available on Audible (so it can be as if I’m speaking to you), or download it immediately on Kindle now. Find it here on Amazon. You can leave the book on your nightstand and reach for it when those nights are hard. I’ll meet you in the pages.

  • I chose to be inspired by other married couples. 

    I always noticed when a man had a wedding ring – especially when I’d be sitting on a plane watching people find their seat. It was stem out of curiosity. I would see it and think, He made a commitment, he didn’t chicken out and change his mind. There are men who can commit. He decided he couldn’t live a day without his wife and married her, I want to find a man who will love me like that!  I also became a wedding photographer six months later. I loved weddings and my heart found hope through witnessing couples on their day say forever – it encouraged me that one day, I would find it and my clients helped me heal by sharing their special day and moments with me.

Please remember it is far better that a man knows that he cannot marry you on this side of the wedding than after and he leaves.

While you can rightfully feel angry and sad, there is so much to be thankful for when a man can acknowledge that he cannot on this side of a wedding date, rather than change his mind later. You do not want to drag a man down the aisle. If you can find the silver lining in that, it may help with perspective – in time.

how to heal from a broken engagement called off wedding quote advice book

Also remember people are watching and your story, healing of hope, can bring comfort to others one day. I had four women reach out to me who went through breakups and wanted to know how I got through it. Coffee meetings, phone calls, prayers, it was an honor to share how I healed and how God helped me through it. And here I am today connecting with you in this post hoping that this post can bring you comfort and I am sending you a virtual hug. I hate that you are going through this heartbreak but I promise, you will survive and you will find your happy ending.

If you are struggling on how to answer questions about what happened, here’s a post I wrote about that. You can say as little or as much as you want, we are all different in how we express ourselves and ask for help.

Read more in the book In Repair: How To Heal from a Broken Engagement available on Amazon.com.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ An absolute must for anyone going through a broken engagement. At a time in my life when I felt so alone in my pain, her book could not have come at a better time. As I was reading, I felt I had a best friend who understood me and who knew how to help me with the emotions I was going through. Diana is eloquent and empowering. She writes in a way to where you feel at ease through your struggles. Her story will give you hope through the pain and grief. This is the only book I could find which specifically targeted and understood each of the emotions of grief in a broken engagement and it helps give you the tools to work through each of them. I can say it has helped me heal tremendously and I have!
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Amy
5 stars on Amazon
5/5

HOW TO HEAL after A broken engagement


  1. Book a massage(s).

    Touch is healing. I almost cried when a massage started, my throat had a frog in it and tears nearly filled my eyes. A massage felt like a hug. I just needed to feel embraced, loved and the power of touch is truly healing. Get as many massages as you need.

  2. Have a photoshoot.

    I had booked a makeup artist who was also a talented photographer and since we had the deposit already paid he suggested we finished with a photoshoot instead. He wanted to lift my spirits and it really did. It made me feel beautiful and I had a new Facebook profile photo that made me feel gorgeous. Thank you Michael Franco. (Old photos, tiny brows haha)

  3. Write it out.

    I had a diary that I started to write in again – actually I wrote in it a lot during that relationship (so much drama and pain), and I continued to write, my writing turned from bashing the relationship to praising God and asking him to forgive and heal my heart and free me from the emotions I was feeling.

  4. Seek counseling.

    I wanted to heal the correct way, not the fastest way, so I sought biblical counseling to make sure I forgave correctly. Forgiveness is an ongoing process, but doing so releases so much anger and sadness. Put yourself first and seek counseling so you can be a better person and heal right for your future husband/wife and self. Don’t forget to forgive yourself.

  5. Seek God. 

    Know what you believe in – do you believe God is in control? That He loves you and cares for you? Then trust that he allowed this to happen for a reason you will never know, or perhaps one day know. If you have faith then show the world, show all all of mankind the strength of your faith and get up and worship the Lord. If David can praise God after the death of his baby, you can get up and worship the Lord.

  6. Join a support group. 

    It was hard to find a support group when I went through my broken engagement, or anyone who could relate. You are here and so have tens of thousands over the years – you are NOT alone. Join our private Facebook group (over 400) in it who regularly engage, share trials and their triumphs. The link is in the back of the broken engagement book under “references”

  7. Get up and show up.

    Two days later I had to co-host a baby shower. I did it. I got up and after I cried upon arrival, then I took a shower at my friends place and got dressed and put on a smile and celebrated her. I removed myself and put my situation outside of myself and put my friend first. It won’t take away the sadness but it will take your mind off your problems for a few minutes.

  8. Think with your brain and not your heart.

    Without getting into too many unnecessary personal details, find your strength – especially if legal documents are being mailed, threats are being made that may need to be used in court. Don’t immediately respond – take a day or two. Seek wisdom and counsel, and stand your ground. Be in control, pause before answering if at all, and think wisely with your head and not your emotions. If finances are involved, seek counsel and do not act compulsively.

  9. Be kind to yourself.

    So one person decided he didn’t want to marry you. I know you thought he was our everything, but his actions prove he is not. Let him go. Not all is loss, it’s just one man’s opinion that you aren’t a fit for him. Well if he decided you weren’t a fit for him, then he isn’t a fit for you! You will find there will be more suitors and may you find a man who cannot live a day without you – that’s the man you want to be with. Look at yourself in the mirror and know you are a treasure and have a lot to offer and don’t let any unkind thoughts enter your mind. You are a precious child of God. There is nothing wrong with you. One day you will meet someone who won’t want you to change one bit. (More on this later in the post, I have a very serious talk with you about reassuring you that there is NOTHING wrong with you).

  10. Go shopping.

    Screw saving for that wedding. It’s done. Go shopping and buy the date clothes, the sunglasses, the jewelry – you spend it on yourself and worry about the rest later. Go on the vacation with your friends, you treat yourself! But don’t cut your hair, trust me – if you need change, get hair extensions instead. *wink*

  11. Write a letter to your future husband.

    I wrote a letter to my future husband when I was 21 and waiting to meet him. I almost gave that letter to the wrong person! I thankfully secured it and kept it. But I wrote an updated letter at age 27. If you haven’t written one yet, why not? Tell him how you are feeling and how excited you are to meet him and all the things you know about him. It will give you hope and remind yourself what you are looking for – the right person deserves that letter!

  12. Immerse yourself into a hobby. 

    I turned my hobby of photography into a businesses. I poured my time and passion into this hobby which eventually became my full-time job. I wouldn’t be where I am without the heartbreak.  You can use this energy of pain and put it toward a passion that will heal and inspire you! You can even serve others who are in need, a food bank, shelter, love on others, it will in return heal your heart.

  13. Don’t avoid those “special” places.

    Your table, that restaurant, that concert, those spots with memories – do not avoid them. GO again go back and do so immediately with your friends and make new memories. This way you can quickly move past that painful memory. Order that special appetizer, sing to that artist. Claim those spots as your own and eventually new memories will override the former ones. You will forget that you and so-and-so even had a favorite table or item on the menu.

Remember – The night that he broke up with you was the best night of your future husband’s life.


Don’t blame yourself for the broken engagement


I also want to encourage you to always love well. Love fiercely and if you did that, then you have no regret. It is so painful to go through a broken engagement and feel abandoned, and if anything I’m glad that I chose to love fully, unconditionally and I did my part. I didn’t create heartbreak, abandon someone or mislead another person – I stayed truthful, committed and THAT is and will always be my character.

It doesn’t mean enduring abuse or staying with someone who doesn’t love you as you deserve, or who doesn’t respect you – it’s about loving fully, knowing you gave it a go, and then realizing that if you do need to walk away, you can move ahead and learn to love what’s good for you.

And sometimes, when the fog clears we can look back and see that maybe that person, and that relationship wasn’t as perfect. Maybe there were flags, but maybe, someone higher up saw that you deserved better, you deserve to be loved as a child of God and treated better than you were being treated and He intervened.

Maybe, there is someone out there who is a better match. I bet there is.

keep going broken relationship advice quote how to heal

If you are wondering how to answer questions about the breakup, I know the confusion and pain – read this post about how I think is best to approach answering these questions or telling your guests.

Don’t try to overthink oR analyze what happened

What I want you to remember as your heart heals – There is nothing is wrong with you and there is nothing you should have changed or something you should not or could have done to avoid this happening.

I had to add this in because I know you are thinking what if you just didn’t fight, or didn’t say that, or only did more of this – maybe this could have all been prevented. I thought the same. I also thought this when I got in a car crash when I was 16, if only I had stopped to tie my shoe that wasn’t untied. Or if I went to the bathroom before I got in the car.

The reality is some things are out of our control. If you had to carefully watch what you said or how you expressed yourself, whether it was good or bad, or disagreed, or anything at all, it wouldn’t have mattered. It still would have been wrong or come to this point either now, or later. Because you see, this had nothing to do with YOU.

You should be free to be you, good bad, ups downs and trials should be worked on together. The thing is, whatever the problem may have been, that person left and that’s not your life partner. That’s not your team player you are looking for – marriage isn’t about perfect days it’s about all of the days, good, bad and living life together one day at a time as YOU are. Don’t hitch your wagon to one with a broken wheel, or doesn’t know where its steering.

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Dating again after a broken engagement

I didn’t date again for about six months until I was set up. I wouldn’t suggest dating right away. If your heart isn’t healed, it isn’t. What’s the point? You’ll only cause more heartache and you won’t be moving forward. Don’t put a bandaid over it – you need to make sure you heal properly. There is no rush to move on or be in a relationship – life is not a contest.

I once cried after a date that went slightly wrong because I was still heartbroken.  It took time to not cry after a date because I still desired to be with my ex, it’s always a desire to be in the last relationship you were in because you romanticize it – even if the relationship had its flaws. We often romanticize what it was during the good times, or what we wish it could have been.

My heart wasn’t healed yet, and I was tired so and so many dates just brought me pain. I also cried after a very short-lived relationship only because I was disappointed and didn’t want to date yet again (I never cried over him or missed that guy).

Dating again was difficult in the beginning. When you were so close to getting married, you looked forward to the lifestyle of settling down, and nights on the couch watching movies and making dinner. I get it – now you have to get out there again.

But you MUST get out there again. And remember, dating is fun! It really is, once you find the right person it’ll be so fun.

how soon to date again after broken engagement

I would suggest allowing yourself time to heal, but go on dates. Yes it can be annoying because you want to get to that comfortable settle down level because you were so close, but I promise when it’s the right person, it’s fun, it’s like being with your best friend. You will find someone who will make you laugh and fall in love again. So get out there when you feel ready but give yourself grace if you come back with a broken heart, totally normal. One day, you will come back from a first date and be excited!

When I met my Husband


I am so grateful for what happened. At the time it felt like my world was crashing down but over the months, I healed.  However even today I would never brush off that experience as something that I could easily overcome or like any breakup because it wasn’t. To this very day I would tell you it was traumatic for me, it was raw and real for me – but I am still grateful it happened.

I grew from this experience. I went to biblical counseling and I had to continually work on moving forward. Forgiveness took time, for things that were done over time and I had to forgive when it wasn’t asked (I never spoke to him again, he never said he was sorry, you can read the entire story and more in my book). That was difficult, you expect kindness or communication when you spend that much time with someone or thought they once loved you – but you don’t always get what you think you deserve.

I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for that broken engagement, the harsh words of being told you’ve been unchosen, or the drama that continued even after all was said and done. Mourning isn’t something to be embarrassed about.  Through loss and changes is how we change as people and the direction of our lives change, for the better.

Life is perfect, today with my friends and my husband I am the best version of me. I wouldn’t have become a photographer, or a blogger, I would not be living out my passions that have been encouraged by the people surround me, nor have experiences of traveling the world, or being here at this very moment connecting with you over this small sliver in my life that changed the course of my life – to where I am now.

I am so in love with the life I almost didn’t have.

For years I hated the broken engagement was part of my testimony, a permanent part of my written story of my life. I hated that, I really struggled. But my situation brought hope to others over the years and if you get to know me, I believe I exist to encourage and now, I published a book trying to help others navigate through the emotions of a broken engagement that has reached hundreds on Amazon.

dating again after broken engagement

Finding our happy ending or knowing “why” will take time. I met Mr. Wonderful a year and a half later (and married 6 months after our first date – read how we met here). I remember watching him from the cabin in Sedona as our wedding photographer took his portraits before our first look. That moment will forever be in my mind, my heart burst out of my chest and my eyes filled with tears and I said to myself – This is the man, that’s him! This is who God had for you. This is your husband who can’t live a day without you who has showed up because he wants to be with you forever! God knew this day was coming!  That wedding day was what was waiting for me on the other side of that broken heart.

My businesses took off and I prospered in so many ways with riches in friendship and creativity and freedom! It all worked out in the most perfect way – my husband is truly who I was meant to be with and searching for my entire life. Had I known he was waiting for me, along with this career, these friends, this church, and the life experiences I’ve had, I would hug myself and said there, there, right around the corner a better life and love awaits. Just be patient. And that’s what I’m saying to you – there, there, right around the corner a better life and love awaits. Just be patient.

How to heal after a broken engagement or called off wedding / Healing after a broken engagement

Like my friend Kim told me, “That night that he broke up with you, was the best night of your future husband’s life.” Mine too.

And I truly believe that one day, you will believe it was yours too. Keep your head up and one day, write me back and tell me it all worked out like just like I said it would.

xx


Book reviews of In Repair: How To Heal from a Broken Engagement available on Amazon.com. Listen on audible, download on Kindle, or order or a paperback copy now.

in repair broken engagement book on Amazon reviews - how to heal from a broken engagement

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“This book will be the beginning of a healing journey from shame and rejection to an awakening of hope and confidence.” – Gini Larsen, Biblical Hope Counseling

Order now: In Repair: How To Heal from a Broken Engagement

Available softcover, hardcover, audible and Kindle.

**


Broken Engagement Counseling +
Private Support Group


I think counseling is a good way to forgive and move forward on your healing journey. If you have a question, please feel free to leave a comment (your email will not be published) and I will respond. I appreciate hearing if this post has helped you. Consider purchasing my book, it is over 250 pages that go further into depth of healing, and I pray for you throughout the book. Find it on Amazon here. In the book is a link to a private Facebook support community on the “References” page.

If you are looking to know Christ, Google “non-denominatinal Christian church” and find the one nearest you. It’s a basic, safe start.


2 Videos


I felt compelled to sit own and record a video where I talk to you for 30 minutes. I hope you just feel like this is a friend talking to you and encouraging you. You can hear more on my audible book here.

Me speaking to you on YouTube and offering prayer

Me being interviewed by my counselor about the broken engagement

Starts at 49:00 when I hit the stage to discuss the process of healing from a broken engagement, and trusting God in the healing process. Also covering narcism, friendships and more.


Recommended Reading for a Breakup


I
have received emails and comments about emotionally abusive relationships and so I am listing a few books below that pertain to that and also breakup books. While I believe the Bible is the best resource to heal and tell you about God’s promises and love for you and the plans he has for you, I have read these books at different times in my life and know that sometimes when you hear a friend share very straight forward kick in the pants advice, that can also help with healing.

So here are a few books and online articles for broken engagement support

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  • In Repair: A Guide to Healing from a Broken Engagement, $9.99 on Amazon
  • The Phoenix Process: Changing with Loss (free online article)
  • It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy, $12 on Amazon
  • He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, $9 on Amazon
  • The Bully in Your Relationship: Stop Emotional Abuse and Get the Love You Deserve, $20 on Amazon
  • Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, $15 on Amazon (Have not read but see great reviews)

Things to buy to help bring comfort

Here is also a recommended list of things to purchase for yourself – or a friend going through a broken engagement that might give you comfort. Surrounding yourself with new things and starting a new routine might distract you but also provide comfort of a fresh start.


Broken heart empowering breakup playlist on Spotify (it’s free)


I
love music, I find it healing. I also hate it when I would be shopping and every dang song is about love and all I wanted to do was cry while shopping. It was like every song just brought me pain. I created this playlist of tough girl songs – Spotify is free and you can listen to this playlist for free. You just have ads once every 30 minutes.

At the end of the playlist it slows down and I hope you are reminded that the plans for your life are not forgotten, God knows what he has in store for you and it’s something better.

Also, please excuse one explicit song but it’s so good I can’t leave it out (“Thank you, Next”).

Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. – Psalm 126:5

This post has been updated from its original publish date of March 6, 2018.


Please feel free to leave a comment, your email will not be published. I respond to every comment, please check the box to be notified via email of a response, or check back.

Trying to decide what to write to make myself sound interesting.

278 Comments

  • Gail M. Weide

    Diana Elizabeth: words feel very inadequate at this point. But I wanted to say thank you for opening up this part of your beautiful life ~ a part that was not so lovely at the time, but is definitely part of your story! I appreciate your rawness, your vulnerability and how you healed from the situation with help from God and of course, your amazing circle of girlfriends!
    You have always amazed me and this just sent my admiration even higher! Thank you for your honesty and candid nature on a subject that is delicate. Your story will definitely be used to heal others who have walked or are walking in those same footsteps.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Gail, thank you for your kind words, your comment meant so much to me. When I met you in person (Brenna’s rehearsal) I was maybe a year out from that event. Healing, but the emotions still up and down. Thank you for such sweet encouragement, it wasn’t easy to open up a healed wound again but I have already found by doing so I’m helping others and that is worth it. xo

    • Maria lara

      Can you email me for encouragement going through a break up my ex called of the wedding a day before

    • Ron Glogovsky

      Thank you for this as a man whose girl broke the engagement 2 months in, my heart was crushed, shattered and shredded. I appreciate your story and it gives me hope.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Ron, I am so sorry and I am glad my story was able to give you hope. Keep your chin up and push forward my friend, it will get better and you will absolutely find the right woman. Your future wife is so glad this happened.

    • Bella

      Hi! Thank you so much for sharing this through the lens of your Christian faith! It is exactly what I needed. My fiance and I just broke up about three weeks ago. I am so broken that I can’t even talk about it yet. Christmas has just passed and it was just not the same. I am usually full of Christmas spirit, but this year it was very strained. I appreciate you sharing how you made it through your break up. Right now the two things I am struggling with the most are living a double life – always thinking of how it should be compared to how it is – and having to tell people we are no longer together. I am currently out of state since its Christmas time, but I dread having to go home and face my real life. Right now it’s pretty easy to fake my way through the day, but I can’t bear the thought of going back home, where I will have to see him every day at work. My heart is so crushed right now! Anyways, God is so good and I know He will give me beauty for ashes; but I am still working on the healing. Please keep me I’m your prayers as the Lord helps me through this phase of my life. Thank you for making this video and thank you for the prayer at the end of your video. You prayed that prayer two years ago but as I listened and prayed with you I could feel that God still heard that prayer and that is was for me too.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Bella, thank you for sharing your story and I hope when you return to real life your strength is stronger every day. I had to heal over the holidays as well, it is very painful but in time, God will reveal why it happened. I am sorry you have to see him every day at work, perhaps 2020 will compel you to look for a new job? Do your hair, get up, get ready and try to look your best so you can feel better – even if inside you feel numb. I know the feeling but I can’t tell you how grateful I am that it happened. Now I look around and think I could’ve missed out on THIS life. Don’t look back and don’t romanticize what it could have been, because it’s not and we need to keep our thoughts captive. Hang on sister, and praying for you. The video was posted just a few months ago and added to this blog post :) Glad you found it.

    • Reuben

      Thank you, my fiance broke up with me 5 months into our engagement. Planned dreams of marriage, a home for our future children. Every night has been a nightmare of constant visions or dreams about how happy she made me and inlove i was and still am and now she is not there. I miss her to no end. The feeling of betrayal and questioning did this person give it her all like i did. Your article has helped me alot. But my heart still echos emptiness and sadness. Its been almost 3 weeks and my eyes still tear up. One day I will be happy again. I wish i could give u a hug cause sometimes thats all we need and say thank you for what you are doing.

  • Julie Doud

    What a transparent and vulnerable post. Thank you so much for sharing! I am currently a friend who is helping a couple of my friends with their broken marriage and I am witnessing that restoration is completely available for anyone who is willing to go through the pain and process. Whoever is reading this post, don’t give up! Elizabeth has shared so many great tips on how to move on and heal. For some of you these tips might not sound like it will help and decide to overlook but you have no idea how much you can heal by being with the right friends who support you!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Julie, thank you so much and your presence with your friends who are going through their broken relationships are so thankful for your friendship. I can’t imagine life without my girlfriends. Just keep being there, the Lord is using you and you are a true gift to those in pain. Thank you for reading and your encouragement. xx

  • Stacey

    Thank you for sharing your story and sweet heart. I too had a broken engagement and although I did not watch the bachelor I know the pain (and embarrassment) that happens when calling off a wedding. All for the best! Xoxo to you! And might I add you have amazing friends :)

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Stacey, thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave a comment. It means so much to me that you would also share your story with me. Thanks for your encouragement and yes my friends helped drag me off the ground when I was a mess, where would we be in life without them? XO

  • Michelle

    So glad you shared your story friend. All the pain you went through hasn’t been wasted and it has grown you in ways you could have never imagined and ministered to so many. It’s been a blessing to watch as the Lord has worked in your life to make beauty from ashes. And, Kim was right. Love you so.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      My love Michelle. Thank you for being there through that painful storm. You made sure there was food for me to eat, and talked me through the tears. You never let me be ashamed for how I felt or what I was going through and you still encourage me through trials and emotions. Your gift to counsel will touch others and I’m so glad you and Mike will be encouraging others like you did for me. Love you and can’t imagine a day without you. xx

  • Carrie Fleitz

    Hugs, more hugs, and yet, more hugs!!! Thanks for opening your heart! You will be helping someone who is ready to read your survival story and try to heal themselves!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Carrie, my dear friend thank you so much. I always appreciate you being here. The messages and emails made it worth opening up that wound again to share. Thank you for reading and always encouraging me. xx

  • Bec

    I really related to your post! I, too, had a broken engagement this past October and it has taken me time to get back to me and not feel like I failed, but I felt the same emotions that you endured. Lovely post :)

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Bec, thank you for your comment and your email too. I am sorry you went through that and I felt like I failed too. If only I had … but then I realized there was nothing that I could have done differently that would have resulted in a different outcome. God has a plan for all of us and over time, the days will unfold and you will know exactly why it was meant to happen. I hope you continue to heal and find joy in the wonders of every day – and may you pour your love into someone who is worthy of seeing all the beauty in you. xx

    • Seth

      I have a broken engagement which is in limbo. She needs time to pray and seek God’s will. She has a lot of insecurities which came flooding in about a week after I got on one knee. I am anxious and depressed all at once. Panic attacks and sobbing. Trying to come to terms with the possibility she will let go for good while also holding onto hope. Desperately scared of the eventual outcome. I have no idea how long she needs and she wants no contact during this time. How can I function day to day while everything is up in the air?

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Seth, I am so sorry. I would pray, too, that God’s will be done and that you can find peace. Peace isn’t the absence of turmoil, but God’s presence in the midst of it. I pray that no matter what happens, you trust that God has a plan for you. Focus on Him instead of her, and I hope that helps as time passes and you move forward. Praying for your heart, brother.

  • Mk

    I am glad you bravely & beautifully showcased your strength & growth by sharing this difficult, dark time in your life. You are going to encourage some women’s lives by opening up this way.
    Doesn’t that night seem like a lifetime ago…or some strange crazy nightmare that didn’t really happen? I’m glad it did happen, for all the same reasons you’re thankful it happened.
    I love you. I’m so proud of you. Xo

    • Diana Elizabeth

      I love you. Thank you for all you did for me during that time. You came right over immediately. You were strong for me when I was weak. I love you so much. xx

  • Gini Larsen

    Dear Diana,
    Reading your blog post brought tears to my eyes. I remember how devastating this whole situation was for you. I can testify that you showed amazing courage and grace throughout the whole ordeal. I witnessed a young woman who sought the Lord through all of the heartbreak and tears- and He was faithful to you. In your pain you were teachable an trusted Him despite your broken heart. This is the kind of heart He treasures and blesses. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is something that will help other women facing this kind of trial. God uses us in our brokenness to minister to others- I am so proud of you for stepping forward to help hurting women and comfort the downcast. You have always been- beautiful inside and outside! I feel blessed to have been able to see you flourish since all of this happened. How wonderful! Praise God!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Dear Gini, I cried reading your comment. You witnessed my pain and you helped me through one of the toughest times in my life. You taught me how to forgive, and your wisdom in sharing God’s word and promises with me throughout that time helped me heal and forgive even though I wasn’t sure if that was possible. Thank you for the time you gave me, for blessing me with your words of encouragement, time, assignments and caring so much about me. You were an answered prayer and I would have never been able to get through it without your guidance. I am thankful for God using you to breathe life back into me. xx

    • Ali

      I cannot figure out how to email you but I would like to talk to you about my recent experience because I am struggling. Thank you!

  • CindyQG

    Rock on sister! Thank you for sharing your journey. God bless this testimony of forgiveness and love. xo

  • Katy Davis

    You are so strong. Thank you for this post. It spoke to me, after recently going through the exact same situation. Thank you for your courage, you’re a warrior sweet Diana. God bless.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      My dearest Katy, I am not strong, it was the Lord carrying me. I was completely broken and he surrounded me with the love of friends and family to surround me and breathe life back into me. I am certain he will do the same for you. My heart is breaking for you, and I know the pain too well, and please know over time you will smile again, and feel joy in the wonder of God’s endless possibilities and the plans he has for you. I’m praying for you and here for you right this minute. If you need to talk, you know how to find me. xx

  • ConnorY

    My fiancé just called everything off a week ago and I am left confused, angry, and sad. I needed to hear this and I am praying that God can take away my negative emotions as well. I think I’ve had a sense of peace because I decided to trust God no matter the outcome. He sees what I don’t see. It’s just hard to see at this point in time. I ended up blocking her on everything and deleting everything I had of her on social media. I start my senior year of college in the fall and she will be there as well. We are both involved in different activities on campus. Do you have any tips for me since I will still see her on a regular basis? What are your thoughts?

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Connor, I am so sorry about what happened, so heartbreaking. I like that you said you have peace because you trust God, and that’s how I felt, even though it still hurt. Peace isn’t absence of turmoil but God’s presence in the midst of it, and it sounds like you know that. But it’s still fresh and it still is a painful situation. I moved churches to avoid any contact, I know you can’t transfer and you have to live your life, but I will assume when you see her, and the more you see her, it might lessen the pain. You might get used to it once you accept it and go through the stages of grief (have you looked that up?) it’s the beginning of summer so you have time to pray, seek counseling if necessary and sort your thoughts before fall hits. Once you forgive, it will be much easier to see that person, or not have emotions when her name is brought up. I have found that time and forgiveness and gratitude over what God has given you and that He knows what is best, has allowed me to reflect on past relationships (like my ex fiancé) in a less negative manner and just find compassion and thankfulness that we didn’t go down that path. I am certain one day you will feel it too, and long before you do find the wife God has for you.

  • Jena R

    My partner ended our engagement in February and I feel like until this year is over, the wedding date along with all the other dates and memories in between are passed, this is just going to be hell. I feel as if life is just passing me by. Life doesn’t wait for you to get back on your feet and typically I am resilient-I’ve survived getting sober from alcohol almost three years ago and haven’t drank during this process; however, it does f mean it hasn’t crossed my mind. The world is cruel-you find out who your friends are when an engagement is called off and your ex gets to them first and tells them their version of the story first. I hope there is healing on the other side of 2018-I hope there is something more than this in my life. I am an avid amateur photographer and found it’s helped some days, but I no longer find joy in anything in my life. I attend counseling once a week. I try to reach out to “close friends” but I think they tire of hearing the sadness in my heart. Thank you for your blog. I appreciate it.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Jena, thank you for sharing your story with me, and your broken heart. I know the feeling, and while I don’t know when the big dates are – whether near or far which can feel like a lifetime away, I hope that the time from here and now you can be filled with hope. If you were able to get sober from alcohol three years ago and stayed strong then I am confident you have the incredible strength and determination to make it through these tough dates and through the rest of the 2018. I’ve been there, heart completely shattered and the days were harder before they became easier. Hang in there my friend and try to look for the silver lining, for the small blessings in life, to appreciate the air that goes through your lungs and the beauty you are able to capture through photography. Look closely, life is in those details, life goes on indeed, but give yourself time, grace and love to heal properly. It is OK to not be OK and it’s OK to be sad and have more than a few bad days. Read some books, talk to friends (they might not be as tired of it as you think) or talk to your counselor. Write a journal, pray for your healing, and pray for your partner (the hardest thing). I will be praying for you too, sending you a big hug and looking forward to you coming back whenever that is and telling me that you’re glad all of this happened, because I know you will. xx

  • Amber

    Diana,

    Thank you for your post! Your story and viewpoints helped me tremendously. My fiance broke up with me last summer. A couple of months before our break-up, my dad passed. This all happened unexpectantly. Needless to say, the second half of last year was an absolute nightmare. My emotions were all over the place. Grieving over the loss of a parent while dealing with a broken engagement was the hardest thing I’ve experienced in my entire life. I know that there’s hope; I believe God’s promises! A year later, my ex is in a new relationship. Finding out about his girlfriend was difficult. I cried because I guess I still had hope that we would cross paths again. I felt foolish, too. I refuse to fall back into the darkness that I experienced last summer. I will not wallow in self-pity. There are so many positives and lessons to take away from what I’ve gone through. I will choose to focus on those things. Thank you so much, and although I don’t know you personally, I am so happy that you found love! Your wedding photo brought so much joy and hope in my heart!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Dearest Amber, Thank you so very much for taking the time to leave a comment, it means a lot to me to know that this helped you in any way. My heart just sank hearing your story to hear about your situation and your dad passing right before, when I read it my hand went over my heart. My heart just broke and that had to have been the hardest time in anyone’s life. I am so so sorry but I love that you have hope. I LOVE that you believe in God’s promises and know that he has a wonderful plan for you. God is good, there is a future that awaits full of joy, a husband, and so much more in God’s perfect timing. As the saying goes, dance with God and he will let the perfect man cut in! Do not let a man who made a lame decision affect the rest of your life, he doesn’t deserve that power. If you need counseling, seek it and I am praying that God continues to draw you closer to him. You are going to experience amazing things without him and find a man that loves you for all you are and cannot imagine a day without you, I promise! xx

  • Monic

    So lucky to have stumbled upon your story. Thank you for sharing this as it is really inspiring! I myself am going through a break up from a long term relationship, it hasn’t even been a month after our breakup, yet my ex has introduced his new girlfriend to his family. Eventhough my ex and I have yet to be engaged, we have already made plans for the future.

    You are definitely right about how important it is to support one another in times like this. I am studying abroad at the moment and I don’t have my best girlfriends here with me. At first it was so hard dealing with this alone but God works in unimaginable ways. He brought me closer to some girls from my bible study group which are now like my sisters. They made sure that I was eating, praying, and keeping up with my life, they stayed over when I was at my weakest.

    For the past month, I have really developed a closeness with God that I’ve never experienced before. Now I’m getting to the understanding that God has bigger plans for me, and your story made me realize that God can heal us through anything. Thanks a lot! xx

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Monic, I am glad you stumbled upon my blog too. I am sorry to hear about your heartbreak, it is devastating on any level if you pictured the rest of your life with that person and also trusted that person to share the same commitment. I know it’s also hard when you find out they have moved on so quickly too. I am glad God has shown his love for you by using girls in your study to support you, pray for you and show you things are going to be OK. I felt the same with God, I had to rely on him, his promises, meditate on his word and if it weren’t for that experience I would not have grown so close to God and deeper in my faith. I am certain you will feel the same. God’s timing is perfect, and he has good plans for you, I am certain that he knows what is BEST for you and only time will tell. I love the saying, Dance with God and he will let the perfect man cut in. xx

  • Katie Cook

    Just about a month ago, my fiance broke up with me. I learned soon after that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. If you don’t know what that is like, it is like a literal hell on earth. It is gradual, and I didn’t see it until after I got out of it. Its very hard because it started off as a fairytale, but quickly turned into a nightmare. I was isolated from my family and friends, I gave up my morals, I changed myself to please him, I endured constant criticism from his family, and in the end I lost who I was completely. I was already a thin girl before we were together, but I lost 20 pounds from the constant anxiety and stress. I thought I was going insane. I didn’t eat or sleep well for the last few months of the relationship. But I didn’t want to leave. I thought “Love conquers all, this is just a rough spot”. He had actually taken my engagement ring from me a few weeks before breaking up with me. I was already mentally prepared for it to be over, but that didn’t ease the pain at all. Never in a million years did either of us think we would break up. We had been off and on for a few years, and we were planning to make this time stick. But it didn’t. I felt that it wasn’t completely right at the start, but I was kind of desperate to find my forever person. He had been my weakness for years, I had idealized him as the one for me. But he had stripped me of all I was. All the intense anxiety and stress I was feeling all melted away the instant that we broke up. That is a big sign to me that we were meant to break it off. But I gave up a lot for him, and I am now starting from square one. I am broke, homeless (living with my parents again), jobless, and single. Feeling discouraged and have felt a lot of anger and disappointment. Any suggestions on how to move on from this? Satan has a strong hold in my heart and soul that I have to fight daily because of this year.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Dearest Katie, We need to put our self worth in what God says we are, not what others say we are or tell us we need to be. I want to tell you that he wasn’t right and God saw it. He saw what was BEST for you, and he thought if that guy couldn’t treat you and honor you like the daughter of the King you are, then he wasn’t good enough for you.Though you hurt, I hope you feel freedom. I hope you feel a weight lifted in part of your soul and a delight that this life is yours again. To flourish, to pursue dreams and feel freedom to be fully you. You might be broke, you are not homeless if you are living with your parents (praise God for wonderful parents). Singleness is not a bad thing. I remember hearing Ravi Zacharias say – “It is better to be single than to be unhappily married.” That stuck with me after I became single. You can find a job, you can make money, you can find your footing again. Go to church, get involved, read God’s word. I meditated on his word and promises day and night. God is good all the time, all the time, God is good. Let him heal you, get counseling if that helps (biblical is what I would recommend) and give yourself time to heal correctly. Write a journal to give praises, say what you are struggling with and eventually you will see it will get easier. You dodged a train. You have a new beginning and while it may seem it is at its low, you have a COMPLETELY new slate to create yourself, to be who God created you to be and as you do this, as you dance with God, he will let the perfect man cut in. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 12:11. Praying that God draws you closer to him during this difficult time. You will get through this, as I did. xx

    • Allie Loyd

      Katie and Diana-
      I would like to thank you both for your honesty, bravery, and vulnerability. One year ago, I came across this article looking for hope, and I came away with the first breathe of healing. I had no idea that my relationship with my ex-fiance was emotionally abusive. I had never heard of the term. But reading Katie’s comment was a light-bulb moment, and has been such a key factor in my journey of healing. For the first time in six months, I heard someone say that the way I was being treated was not my fault. Thank you both for sharing your story; it has made all the difference in mine.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Allie,
      Don’t you love how the Internet can bring people together? I love how we can find hope and healing through other’s stories. I felt the same, I had no idea, I was told, but I still didn’t see it. Sometimes realizing it helps us move forward and though we hurt, we can still realize what a blessing it is that it can allow us to really heal without blaming ourselves, or overly romanticizing the past. Praying for your healing as you move forward with strength, wisdom, and joy. xx

    • Katie

      Eep! I just read this comment that I posted 2 whole years ago. It makes me want to reach back in time and give myself a huge hug. I have definitely healed and I am OK! More than OK! I am so much better than I ever had been before. My broken engagement seemed like the end of the world, and it was the end of my world as I knew it. But it was also the beginning of something better. Thank you so much for this post Diana! I am SO HAPPY that I came across this blog in the midst of the worst heartbreak one can ever endure. To anyone that comes across my comment, know this: you WILL heal. You WILL grow. And you WILL find joy again. I am living proof.

  • Maureen

    I was engaged to a man in another state (Texas) about a month ago. I had found a job close to him, put in my two weeks notice at the current job and also found someone to take over my lease to my apartment in Virginia. Four days before I was suppose to move my whole life to be with him and five days before my 38th birthday, out of nowhere I get one text at 9pm. “My family don’t want us together…..don’t text or call them anymore”. I was so dumbfounded, there’s was no other explanations. I called him he didnt, wouldn’t answer. Then I found out he block my number. I was so confused & shocked, I thought it was some kind of mistake or just a mean crazy joke. The wierd thing is there’s was no signs of doubts or any questions about our plans. We’ ve been engaged over a year. He just went ghost and disappear from my life like we never met. How could a person be so cruel and evil? He left me like I was a piece of trash on the side of the road, like I was nothing. Not one single word after the crazy text message, not even a F**k you. I was completely abandoned, no job, no home…..nothing, only a broken heart and thousands of unanswered questions. The whole situation was so weird and just out of the blue, it blows my mind. I never heard from him again or know what the heck happened. All I know is that the idiot didn’t even have enough respect for me to tell me he didnt want to be with me, instead he took the most cowardly way out…..he just disappear. Im completely devastated, its harder when there’s no closure. I would never wish this kind of pain on anyone.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Dear Maureen, my jaw dropped open just reading your story. I cannot believe it. The nerve, the timing, the audacity of an adult. All I can say is despite how incredibly horrible he has ended this, I will try to find the silver lining for you. 1) He did this on this end opposed to leaving you after being married 2) His actions show his immaturity and cruelness that it might help you to get angry faster, therefore moving on easier (in comparison to being torn and telling you something heart wrenching like he might regret it one day). On another note, that is mind boggling that he didn’t have respect to communicate. I am sorry, I am so sorry that this has left you feeling the way you do. I have to say something about closure though – and this is just my opinion on my own experience. I know as human beings we need it, I myself feel like I need it when something ends, but I’ve also been in situations where nothing said can really bring closure to my heart. Goodbyes under the most intense, heated, and unfortunate circumstances still hurt. So I try to create closure in my mind and heart by looking at the facts of what I know and what I see and observe. If I observe cruelty, deception, abandonment, I look at that and think to myself, I don’t want that, and from there, I can make the decision to move on and take methods through counseling and time, and careful prayer, but most importantly, time (even without a true answer, even without an answer that makes any sense to my heart). I have been down that path, I don’t know if I can tell you I ever felt the last conversation I had with my ex fiancé was one that brought closure to my heart but over time, I had to find it and refused to let it keep me from moving forward. I am hopeful that you too will be healed over time and trust that God’s plan was for this to happen and to find peace and closure trusting in His perfect timing and plan for your life. xx

  • Maureen

    Diana Elizabeth,
    Sometimes the ach in my chest from the hurt & pain is so unbearable. The nights are the hardest for me. Im disgusted by his actions. Im too old for this, I just want some peace & a place to patch whats left of my broken heart. Thank you so much for sharing your story and especially thank you for your fast reply with such encouraging words.

    Maureen

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Maureen, the stillness of the night can leave you with running thoughts. I can only imagine. I looked at nights as triumphs for getting through another day, if you can look at it that way, I hope you can find some small victories as the days go on – victory in slowly healing. You are much too good to have such drama happen to you like that which will also make finding a forever love that much sweeter. In time your days will get better and you will smile, thankful that you didn’t marry such a person. The rest of your life deserves better. xx

  • Moses

    Diana Elizabeth,
    I am reading your post at 2 am 5 months after my ex fiance left. She said she can’t keep doing this anymore and that my insecurities rubbed her insecurities and we didn’t work out and left and I really do connect with your story. I believe that God is in control and that things just don’t happen for no reason. However, I am struggling to find hope and purpose again. The relationship took more then I thought it would but I cannot seem to make up my mind anymore. For example… I totaled my car 3 months after my ex left and 2 months later, I still haven’t purchased a new car cause I am scared of making the wrong choice. Or, I know I would buy a car with all the features that my ex would love and maybe one day she would see that I am changing. But it’s pathetic and not really me. I am scared of finding a new apt because I am not sure if I would make the right choice again. I scared of leaving my job or even staying at my job because how do i know it’s the right choice ? I guess what I am asking is, how do i move on again? I am seeing a counselor but every now and then i find myself back in this space again. Did you go through this? How did you over come this ?

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Dear Moses, I’m glad you found this post in the middle of the night. I know how a sleepless night can be full of thoughts and overthinking. Thank you for sharing your story and faith in God. I am so sorry about your confusion and inability to make a decision from fear. I believe your question is actually two questions, how do you move on and find yourself, and how do you make decisions without fearing the consequences? You should live confidently in your decisions. But you cannot make a decision that you will feel confident in until you feel confident in yourself and right now you are probably hurting and not able to think clearly. Wait until you are healed and able to think clearly, and have confidence in the Lord. I would first start with the healing process of continuing to see the counselor and knowing what the Bible says about who you are, made in God’s image and wonderfully made, and loved by God as well as God’s plans. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” – James 1:5 and “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” – Phil 4:13. I would suggest not doing anything BIG regarding life changes or expensive just yet until you feel like you are in a better place. But let’s say time isn’t on your side and you do need to purchase a car (can you rent or borrow meanwhile?), or move to a new apartment. First, pray and ask God to give you peace, you can ask for specifics that are on your list, he may provide them and that may help you solidify that it was meant to be. Then, go confidently. Regarding these decisions, even if “wrong” you can always move, sell a car and get a new one, or get a new job. I believe what you mean by avoiding wrong is that you are trying to avoid heartache, headache, trials, difficulties and hardships. But my friend, I have learned through the years life rarely goes our way, there are twists and turns but time goes on and life is full of ups and downs, we cannot upkeep a perfect ideal life. We get a do-over every single day. So if you do it wrong today, you can do it right tomorrow. Or the next day. Let’s say it’s “wrong” what is the worst that could happen? Surely there is a solution that doesn’t cost you your life. Don’t be paralyzed by fear of making the wrong decision. Sometimes we have to step out in faith and we cannot be paralyzed in fear if we believe God has a great plan for us. Jobs can be hard, we pray through them and work for men as if for the Lord. Cars are just vehicles that get us to A to B. Don’t overspend, don’t buy something you aren’t excited to get in and drive in and the features YOU need. Do not take into consideration what your ex would approve of, she’s not in your life. Instead, work on yourself and who you need to be. It sounds quite exciting to me that you will be getting a new car, moving to a new place and possibly finding a new job. You will be in an entirely new space living a new life! How wonderful! You move on day by day. You hold captive your thoughts when they wander to pity or self doubt and you focus on the wonderful things every day brings. It gets easier. You move on by choosing to live fully, to no longer love someone who doesn’t love you, and you work on yourself – hobbies, goals, keep a journal and write daily praises and even share your struggles. I promise one day you will realize you have moved on long ago. Praying for you right now and please let me know if you have other questions, I am happy to help give any advice I can.

    • Moses

      Hey Diana,

      So I did follow your advice and decided to use the time to make the best choice for a car. I haven’t brought one yet but I will in September and I am thinking I’ll get a Volvo. I also found two new jobs (one as an account manager and the other as a medical sales rep) and I just need to finalize the process but will make the choice soon. I also found a new place to live, I move in this week. So changes are coming and I am able to make the choices finally. However, I wanted to touch base with you because it’s now 5.5 months since the break up with my fiance and I found out that she has been in a relationship with someone else for the past three months. I am a little confused because before she broke up with me, she looked directly at me into my eyes and told me that she wanted to make this relationship work and our pre-marital counselor and I were convinced. Only to find out that two weeks later that she changed her mind and is leaving. Then two months later, she’s in another relationship. I guess what I am trying to ask is, how do I forgive her? After hearing of her activities, I froze and now I seemed to have this endless amount of sorrow and pain and I want to move on. I just know that I need to forgive her to move on and I am not sure how that looks or where to start? How did you forgive your ex fiance? I feel like I am doing all thr right things and throwing myself back to Christ but I just do not know what to do. I am a little lost.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Moses,

      Thanks so much for the update, I really appreciate it! I was wondering how you were doing. I’m glad to hear life is moving on for you and in so many wonderful changes. It also sounds like you are becoming more confident in your decisions too which is great!

      Actions speak louder than words. A breakup and time of not being together allows people to move on. We can say one thing but do another, and those actions are saying everything one is truly feeling. I would say do not cling onto what she told you, her actions are showing that she’s moved on. Usually when someone breaks it off with someone I find that they’ve had time to move on, they came to that conclusion so I knew I had to catch up and move on with my life too. The reality is we can’t control people, and as devastating as that is, we shouldn’t want to be able to control whether people like or love us. When we find someone who loves us for who we are, and completely and commits, that’s when we know its such a gift! Love is a beautiful choice that we choose every day – you deserve someone like that.

      So I’d forgive your ex for breaking your heart, but find gratitude that she left now instead of later. I’d forgive her for releasing you from being in a false, unfulfilled marriage that would have been one-sided that she couldn’t commit to. She may have thought she meant it in premarital counseling, but it seems she’s moved on. You will too! I know you will, because we all do.

      You should pray for her. Pray that she is happy and also pray for your future wife. You can pray that God helps you become a wonderful husband to your future wife, that you become stronger in God’s word so you can lead her, and that you stay focused as a Godly man for your future wife. If there are things your ex did to you that you need to forgive her for, write them down and say, “(name) I forgive you for _____” and go down the list. Then you shred it/burn it because once you truly forgive, that list is gone! Forgiveness is an ongoing process. I guarantee one day you will be so happy this happened. Keep focusing on the days ahead and growing closer to the Lord and also considering biblical counseling if a few more months go by and you still feel “stuck.” Let God do some healing in you, it will take time. Let me know how you are doing!

  • Ann

    Dearest Diana,

    Words cannot express how grateful I am that you wrote this post, and God had led me to it at just the right time in my life. I had invested 6 years, on and off again, with a man I always knew I would marry since childhood. I’m not going to get into the details of how sour it turned, but after promising a future with me, he recently messaged me and told me he was committed to someone else. Although we weren’t engaged, words cannot express how deeply it shattered me: my whole life’s dream in a future with this man was now gone and I was left feeling numb, weightless, and suspended in ‘limbo’. There were times I would cry out to God in desperation with my face on the floor, feeling absolutely nothing but pain.

    Contrary to you, I hated night time because I would be left alone with my thoughts; sleepless, anxious, painful nights…until I stumbled upon this blog of yours. Diana, I can’t even begin to tell you how much weight lifted off my heart. God was speaking to me through your post and my spirit feels renewed. You are right about harbouring bitterness, thanking God most especially, and keeping hope in a brighter future.

    For 6 years I have been trying to heal and move on, but I could not unless through anger. And while there’s still a sliver of hope that he would come back, I’m holding on to your wise words: love is a choice, and just as I chose to love him, I can also choose not to.

    From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for blessing us with your story. And I pray that all those who are going through similar situations would have supportive friends just as yours.

    Blessings,
    Ann

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Ann,
      Thank you for reading and sharing your heart. I am sorry about your heartbreak, and I can understand the devastation when plans and dreams suddenly disappear, its like the rug is pulled out from under you. But, I do believe God knows what is best and I look at my own marriage and my husband and I am beyond thankful. At night I would think a lot too, but I turned that time into praises and reading and looked forward to sleeping (to numb the pain and keep my mind from thinking) but a triumph to make it through another day toward healing. I would say that if you feel like you aren’t healing, seek biblical counseling. I met my husband a year and a half later, so healing to me was the most important because I wanted to own my future as soon as I could. I know a great future awaits you! God has wonderful plans for you, and once you do meet the right person, you won’t think twice about your past. Praying God draws you near to him. xx

  • Rosie

    Thank you for sharing your post, it gives me some hope in this tough time that God is hearing my prayers and has a husband waiting for me. I had to end an engagement, having been in the relationship for 6 years. It got to the point where he only cared for himself, there was some questionable behaviour with dating apps and comments from others or that he made in respect to other women and he told me he just wanted to spite me. He also said I didnt deserve the ring he bought me. After it ended it didnt stop. He and his family would camp out the front of my house and make terrible comments online. They tried to get me fired from my job and take my career away and wasn’t even worried about telling people. He took all our friends away from me so I had to start again from scratch. The last straw was when he stole my dog who I loved/ love dearly and miss every day. He moved on after 6 months with a new girlfriend despite pretending there was hope for us during that time. This abuse lasted for a year after we split. It’s now been a year and a half and the people I have dated since the break up were controlling and nasty. I feel like there is no one decent left for me so I pray to God to make a way where there appears to be no way. I am grateful that you had the courage to share your story which was a terrible experience but also had a happy ending with hope for the future. Please pray that God leads me to my husband soon. Being almost 30 I feel every day lessens my chances of finding someone suitable for me.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Rosie, Thank you for your comment and sharing your heart! I am so sorry about what happened to you, I found so many similarities that I had in my relationship that ended as well. Praise God for giving you wisdom and strength to walk away – even if it was incredibly hard. I want to say something about timing and the pressure of being married before 30. God’s timing is perfect and an age or your timeline shouldn’t make you feel rushed into the wrong relationship. It’s like putting a bandaid on a wound but not allowing it to fully heal. I remember hearing from Ravi Zacharias – It is better to be single than in an unhappy marriage. I have known many people who married after 30 and have great marriages, so stay positive! God is preparing you and him for each other for the right time. And of course my favorite is, “Dance with God and he will let the perfect man cut in.” You have to trust the Lord, he will give you the desires of your heart! xx

  • lauren hollingsworth

    my fiancé just left me this monday after a silly fight while he was at the airport and i was at work over text.. i’m devastated and sick and heartbroken. i don’t know where to even start. we just moved in together 2 weeks ago and now i have to move my stuff out, how did this happen? he agreed to meet with me after i told him that after 10 years he owes me a face tj face conversation but seeing him after 4 days is going to kill me.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Lauren, Oh my goodness this is so fresh. I am so sorry. When you say silly fight, for him to call it off when it sounds like it was a silly fight seems like he’s not understand what marriage will entail – there will be disagreements, but it’s how you overcome then, not based on behavior like that. I am praying for your heart during that meeting. May you stay grounded in knowing you are a loved precious child of God. And let whatever happens, happen and know your self worth isn’t in any relationship. No matter what happens, it will be OK. I promise one day you will understand. xx

  • Tori Kremer

    Hi Diana,
    Thank you for sharing your story. It has given me a lot to think about and from a different perspective. My fiancé recently broke off our engagement. He actually wrote me a letter and then left for a camping trip where he had no service. We have been having a rough time over the last 4 months. He got a job offer 2 hours away right before he proposed (which was planned way in advance). I was initially upset about the job because all my friends and family live in the town we are in currently. My parents also voiced their concern which did not sit well with him. But after some time I became more use to the idea of moving because I know how much the job meant to him. Even though I agreed to go, my fiancé could not stop being anxious and worried about our future. Worried that I would want to move back or that my parents would try to guilt us to come back. I tried to show him in several ways how much I wanted to be with him and that everything would be okay. I really never believed he would break it off. It just doesn’t make sense when he could have had everything. I’m so heart broken and missing him and our life.

    Any words of advice would be helpful!

    Thank you so much!
    Tori

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Tori,

      Thank you so much for being here. The advice I will give will be from a girlfriend perspective and from what you’ve told me. From the outside it just seems so confusing that he’d just call off a wedding like that unless he seemed to be hot and cold constantly in the relationship (mine was as such). To me he could have not taken the job two hours away, or taken it and brought you with him, as long as you were communicative about it. 2 hours is nothing. I moved from Phoenix to Albuquerque, NM when Benjamin got a new job when we were dating (and I questioned what the future plans were) and I willingly moved for him to further his career and we were only there for 4 months before we returned to Phoenix. So I guess what I want to know is if you have communicated beyond this because maybe this needs to happen before it’s completely called off (not sure how far out the wedding is). I read this story and it just doesn’t make sense to me one bit, are there other issues? Because if I loved someone I truly believe you’d sacrifice whatever it took, even your fears to jump in and just be with that person, not so logical. The mess in the future gets sorted out together (the romantic in me speaking). I am so sorry you are going through this – I would say to get a definitive answer on his reason to call it off – and even if you express you want to move and be with him, and he still says no, then accept the no. I do know that men value their careers – it is their identity and they need a supportive wife to build a career to provide. I believe if you can have a conversation that leads to a conclusion on your relationship that would be best, even if it’s painful. A letter to me doesn’t seem fair and a bit of a cowardly way to break off such a commitment. I’m praying for you. No matter what, please know that if he doesn’t pursue marriage with you, someone else will, the right person. Your future husband won’t want to be a day without you. xx

  • Emily

    Hi Diana,

    Thank you for this story. In my heart of hearts, I always wanted my relationship to last the SECOND time around- I wanted to encourage other women, just like you. I wanted to prove that second love is better than the first for so many of us! (or third, fourth, whatever). This way, maybe some girl out there wouldn’t lose faith when her lover broke it off.

    You did this for me. The fact that you are praying for us means so much, too. One day, I hope to publish my story, too, so that other girls can see that it is possible to overcome this setback. Hopefully God was just cheering the day we broke up- so Mr. Wonderful can finally walk in!

    The hardest thing for me was people not understanding the severity of what my ex-fiance did. He actually lied about his marital status, while promising me a committed future that he had no intention of ever following through with. This was a far cry from a one-night-stand- it was a calculated, meticulous betrayal of trust to two different women at once. I, too, was flabbergasted that I did not see this coming. You helped me take one step closer to forgiving myself for the bad investment of trust. Sometimes, my mind can’t fully grasp the magnitude of what happened, and other times, I cry for no reason. This was someone I knew for seven years, together off and on, engaged this year for one month.

    Ladies, YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WE CAN DO THIS!!!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Emily, what a sweet comment, THANK YOU. Love lost doesn’t mean that you won’t experience it again on a greater level. Because if it didn’t work the first time, it wasn’t true – even if we did love that person fully it wasn’t what we deserve. Imagine how much greater it will be when the other person is fully committed wholeheartedly back to you? AMAZING. I am so sorry about your ex, that is complete betrayal and manipulation. You cannot blame yourself but you can be thankful you found out, pick yourself up and move onward. Be gentle with yourself and know that a better future awaits. This I am truly confident in, you can do this! xx

  • Jamie

    Thank you so much for sharing this story. It really helps to know I am not alone. It’s been about 3 weeks now since my bf ended things. We werent engaged but had just moved in together about 3 weeks prior. We were together for 8 years a lot of which was long distance and it was incredible to finally be living together. I still have no idea what went wrong. The weekend before he did it he told our mutual friend he was excited to be living with me and saw a future with me. His family showed up one day while I was at work and they redecorated our whole house I’m taking painting walls, buying new furniture, everything. He was there for this as well. When I got home I told him I was upset I wasnt included in all of this. He started a huge argument and I told him to call me when he wanted to talk. he never called. A week later after staying with my parents I went over there and found out his family had been staying there all week. In this time they had changed the entire house. They took all my stuff, separated it out for his, and piled it up by the back door. He then ended things saying he wasnt in love with me, didnt see a future with me and didnt want a family with me. His family has never liked me and I know they did this on purpose. He honestly believes it was his choice but he is so controlled and manipulated by them he honestly believes hes felt this way for a while. Intellectually I know I shouldnt be with someone who wont stand up for me. As well as someone with anger issues. But emotionally I dont care. It’s been so hard. I miss him and the brief happy 3 weeks we had wasnt enough. Your story really helped me so much realize that I’m not alone and this will pass. Thank you so much.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Jamie, Thank you for sharing your story! I’m really sorry that this happened but at the same time when you think about it, you know intellectually what you deserve. I too was divided, my brain and heart told me two different things and it’s a very hard thing to sort out. While your argument seems quite trivial, the fact that something like that would end it only shows he’s not the ideal life partner. I know as more time passes, you’ll be able to look back and reevaluate things with a better eye that will also hopefully heal your heart. xx

  • maggie

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I’ve been looking around for articles and blogs from real people who have been through this, hoping to find common ground, and see people that have gone on to better things. Your article is the first that has properly struck home through the fog in my head and my heart, and actually given me a flicker of hope.
    It’s been a month since I ended our engagement (we were due to be married in January), but this was due to my fiancé ‘s increasing harsh behaviour and worsening depression. He had in the past changed his mind about how he felt about me, breaking up with me even on holiday once (in Disneyland!) only to do a grand gesture to win me back. He wasn’t over his abusive ex, and constantly ended up with other women emotionally attached to him (usually much much younger than him) who he found it hard to turn down nicely. He had issues with guilt and chronic depression, but told me I was the one who needed therapy and to learn to think ‘in a correct way’ – still I thought I could help him. Finally a couple of months ago I discovered that for 5 years he has been in an emotional online relationship with another woman who he’d met when she was just 18. He couldn’t understand that he had broken mine (and her) hearts by leading us both on -for months I tried to make it work, as I still loved him but I knew I couldn’t never trust him again. It was a hard decision, as I thought he was my best friend, and his grand gestures were so beautiful and thoughtful. It’s hard when everyone, even his family and best friends, seem so heartbroken – maybe they thought I could fix him too. It’s hard coming to terms with how much I forced myself to change for him, constantly feeling not good enough and deferring to his wishes.
    Your article gives me hope that I can move on and be strong, and find someone who can actually love me for me, and help me grow as a person. It’s really very beautiful. Thank you so much for writing it. I’m going to save it and bring it out from moments I feel exhausted by it all :) I’ll get there too. xxx

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Maggie, Thank you for sharing your story here. I am glad my words and sharing my story has helped give you hope, that’s the entire goal. I know it hurts, I know the pain and the confusion and that fog. It’s a daze you’re just in survival mode. Even though you broke it off it wasn’t like you wanted to, it was almost forced with the situation. I think people forget that a broken engagement still means dreams and plans breaking and that’s what’s devastating. What I can tell you is that it’s so much better to be on this side of the marriage than after. You will move on and you can be strong. Your heart will heal and you will learn to love what’s good for you and recognize that (sounds like you already know what you deserve). You are in my prayers Maggie and I know one day you’ll look back and be so grateful you didn’t settle and all of this happens, even if it hurts right now. xx

  • JC

    Diana,

    Your article was an answer to prayer. I initiated a break up of an engagement about four months ago. I have four other significant losses either due to death or estrangement. Despite these painful wounds, I take consolation knowing that none of these losses are due to any lack of love. Your article is helping me see that! It’s ok to take each day one at a time, feel the hurt and loss, and know that I am a different person because of the loss but can rise from the ashes. Thank you so much.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi JC, thank you so much for your comment. I’m so glad that you felt like it was an answer to prayer. God uses us in mysterious ways. I know the feeling of loss, estrangement as well. Feeling pain shows how real it was, and loving fully means no regrets. You will absolutely rise from the ashes and I am praying for the Lord to draw you close to Him during this time. Your heart will heal, and I know you will find true love. Thank you for your sweet comment, you encouraged me! xx

  • Angela L.

    I felt like reading your story gives me hope when I desperately need it now. My fiancé decided to end our engagement last week and it’s been so heartbreaking it’s hard to eat, sleep, or think about the “what if”. He comes from a family with a lot of broken marriages and the pressure to live up to a successful one became too much for him. We’ve been together for 3 years and on the day of our anniversary he called everything off. He spoke out how our vibe was off and how he felt that the relationship felt like work. All of which was a surprise to me as I lived in such blissful happiness of planning to get married to my fiancé at the time. Its hard to not go back and see if I did something wrong. As I cancel our wedding venue, tell guests we cancelled and heartbroken, I do still believe in love. I believe one day I will get married and one day it might be my ex-fiancé again. Trusting God that he has a bigger plan for all this is what I hope is true. I want to know I’m not alone and that the heart heals over time.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Angela, thanks for being here and sharing your story. I’m sorry about what happened to you last week. It’s heartbreaking, and it’s fresh. Give yourself time to grieve and know that it has nothing to do with you. No what ifs. I went through the same, but one day, you may find yourself asking yourself, what if he didn’t do it? and you wouldn’t be with the right kind of love or relationship or situation you are in that day. I say that to myself now living this great life and I am certain you will feel the same one day. Trust the Lord, he knows what is best! xo

  • NJ

    Hi Diana,
    I am sitting at my computer trying to fight back tears while I read your post. I want to believe everything you say – I want to believe that the best is yet to come, that we just weren’t meant to be and that in time I will heal but it all feels so impossible right now. Getting through this day is even a struggle.
    My engagement broke off yesterday. It was my birthday on Saturday and we had gone to Spain for a few days to celebrate it – it was his idea to go away. He already had cold feet 2 months ago but convinced me that it wasn’t about me, that he loved me so much and that he just needed time because he wasn’t ready. On my birthday on Saturday, we were lying on the beach and casually making conversation with my eyes closed I asked him what his biggest fear was – that opened the floodgates. I already knew he was scared because we were supposed to have our registry ceremony in September but he decided he couldn’t do it then (our traditional ceremony was planned for April 2019). When he got cold feet in Sept, I was a mess but I convinced myself and he also convinced me that in time he would be ready. I thought to myself, I don’t want to look back and regret walking away and not giving it another go, so I stayed. Anyway, the details and circumstances of our situation are complex but I knew he loved me. I know he cared, I felt it. I always said to people I don’t think I will ever find a man that adores me and cares for me as deeply as he does. The thing is, he loved me but he loved his freedom more. long story short when it came down to choosing me or his freedom, he chose his freedom, knowing full well that this time it was for real and that I would walk away and it would be the end. I said goodbye to him at the airport last night, less than 24 hours ago, when we returned from Spain. I was sobbing uncontrollably and literally forcing myself not to beg him to ask me to stay. He kept saying he was sorry. My heart wants him but my brain knows he will never change and his freedom is too precious. Marriage is an anchor to him.
    So here I now am, having spent the entire day trying to fight back tears and looking to Google for answers about how to get over a broken engagement. I don’t even know why I am writing this post. I have never left a public comment on anything in my life. But I am in so much pain and I am so desperate and I just want to believe everything you have said. He touched every aspect of my life and I just want to wipe it clean, I want to delete him from my brain so that the pain can stop. I just don’t want to go crazy over this.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi sweet NJ,

      Thank you for being here and leaving a comment so I can leave you with a bit of encouragement. It sounds like we had similar experiences with a person who had cold feet before the actual break up. I know how that makes an engagement hardly enjoyable and very stressful. I can only imagine how a marriage would feel even after you think you are committed, wondering if they would change their mind, and for that, I am grateful that situation happened before marriage. Don’t feel like you have to fight back tears, crying is therapeutic, it’s real, and it allows you to grieve properly. There is nothing to be ashamed about with crying. David cried out a lot to God, read Psalms. I find so much comfort in Psalms when I am going through a tough time and reminded of who God is, and that I need HIM more than anyone else. A man will love and care for your more deeply than your ex because a man who does, will choose you above all else. I don’t know God’s reasons for what happened, but I was reminded by friends that God doesn’t waste pain. You are just on day one, it can get harder before it gets easier then one day, it gets easier, and easier. This can’t be the end, if it’s not OK it’s not the end. If we don’t feel the realness of loss, then it wasn’t something that mattered to us, but to get stronger from this event that it will change us, what a worthwhile thing. Take one day at a time, and grieve, it’s not wrong to cry or be in pain but know through this, God is changing you, great change comes from loss. Then when you can, day by day, pick yourself up and move forward, slowly. There is no timeline to move on, and take it easy on yourself. When I found myself still feeling emotional, I believed it was time or me to seek counseling so I could heal properly. I wanted to prepare myself for a bright future and my future husband. You are only going to believe what you have faith in, and if you have faith in a God that whose character you know and trust, then it is my prayer for you that your faith carries you through the rest of your days. xx

  • Mano

    Hi Diana,

    About three months ago, I was engaged to marry someone and we were waiting for his government to approve the marriage because that is how it works for saudi arabian man wanting to marry non-saudi arabian woman. We were aware that there was a possibility that the permission would be rejected and since we are both religious people we decided if that were to happen we would go our seperate ways because there was no way for us to be together if we could not marry in the end. When the engagement begin, his father submitted an application to get our marriage approved and a year later in August 30th it was rejected, it came to us by a shock, because we were so positive it would happen. I am 23 and he is 22 and I was born in the United States and he was born in Saudi Arabia, I thought he was the one! We shared so many interests, he was studying to be an engineer and I had just finished college to apply to dental schools in the US. In our relationship, we discussed everything from where we would live to how many kids to who would come to our wedding. He told me he would have to go back to his country after he finished his education for engineering in 2021 because he was on a contract (4 years in the US for schooling=8 years working in his country), meaning I may not get a chance to do dental school in the US (it was my dream though). At that time, I was willing to give up my dream to be with him, because I thought that it had to happen so I could be with him.

    He encouraged my passion for dental and although we had ups and downs, he loved me like I thought no one ever could. Our love was so pure. He always used to tell me how much he loved me and that I couldnt possibly understand how he feels because it was greater than 100000x.

    When the news came in Aug 30, I was numb, we talked on the phone one last time and respectfully said our goodbyes. I havent spoken to him since. From August to October, I immersed myself in studying for an admission exam for dental school and that ended in a result of average because of the broken engagement I believe. I am now in dental assisting program for year pursuing my passion until I hear back from schools but I am still struggling with the loss.

    I read your story three times and I am glad I am not the only one. I just feel empty and I have looked for positives in my situation. I wouldnt have been able to pursue my dream career had I married him. I just feel like I will never meet someone who loved me as much as he did. I believe in god and I believe he had this happen to bring me closer to him and who knows what the other reasons are but how do I stop thinking this way. Everyone tells me I am still so young but everyone around me has a relationship, has a special someone and then theres me with a broken engagement.

    What advice could you give me? Do you think I will ever find someone? How can I stop hurting? Will I lose these feelings with time?

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Mano,

      Thanks for being here and sharing your story. I’m so sorry about your pain and what you are going through. I can tell you that all the changes going on in your life are a blessing, a way for you to immerse yourself into something new, into a new direction. I wouldn’t be a photographer or blogger if it weren’t for what happened to me!

      You will meet someone who loves you as much as he did, (I once thought the same) but here’s the thing – a man who MARRIES you, loves you and will already will love you WAY more than he did. I recall when my ex left and said, “I love you” I wish I had said, “No you don’t.” It wasn’t enough. So don’t worry about that, you are way too young to be thinking you’ll never fall in love again.

      Time will heal, holding your thoughts captive (don’t let it daydream or wander there) and keep looking forward. Get counseling, go to church, seek God and find peace in the plans He has for you. You will lose the feelings over time because love is a choice. Choose to no longer be tied to him, chooses to love life, choose to embrace every day you wake up and can discover what the day holds, choose to be content and grateful and joy will come. Choose to discover what God has ahead, it’s romantic, adventurous, exciting! xx

  • Taylor Nervo

    Hi Diana,

    It has been two days since the man that I thought was the one, broke off our engagement. What hurts even worse is I have known him for 20 years since childhood so he is also a best friend. His family is my family…his friends my friends. It came as a complete shock and it was like he just turned off a switch. Could no longer say he loved me and that he didn’t feel like himself in this relationship. He apologized for it taking so long for him to come to this realization…but I am working on forgiving and knowing it is better now than after years of marriage and multiple children. I just can’t wrap my head around how he is just “done” after so many memories. We came in and out of each other’s lives over the years that I just felt this had to be the right one. I felt our story was amazing. I feel so many different emotions, it is overwhelming. I plan to seek a counselor and always pray to God, but this is so tough. I never saw myself as the girl that would get dumped while planning her wedding. My biggest hurdle is to stop second-guessing every action and word from our time together to see what happened to cause this.

    My mother led me to your post right after I broke the news to her. Your words spoke directly to my heart and soul. Thank you for sharing your story and helping ones like me heal. It is nice to hear that there is still hope and a better life path to come.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Taylor,

      Thank you for being here and sharing your story. I am so sorry about what happened so recent. I know it feels like you were blindsided, and while painful, I promise that it’s a blessing in disguise. Best to know now than the other side. And I understand replaying what you could have done to have changed the outcome. I did that too, and then I realized, to think that I can place one single action or spoken word or decision so much emphasis that it can alter the outcome of true love, or God’s plan? No way.

      I write this to you on my 7th wedding anniversary to my husband. Over 9 years ago that broken engagement happened to me, and I cannot even imagine what my life would have been like without the man I am married to now. I know it seems hard to imagine it but I know one day God’s perfect plan will happen and you will wake up the day of your wedding and be so glad all of this happened.

      Thank you for sharing and reaching out and encouraging me about sharing mine. It’s a traumatic incident I wish no one would have to go through but at the end I know God refines us, teaches us to trust Him, and as we seek healing and understanding it draws us closer to Him and that is my prayer for you as you continue to heal. xx

  • Andie

    Diana,
    I just want to say thank you for having the courage and vulnerability to post this! I feel like God led me to your site to read your words as part of my healing. I went through a broken engagement this past year. We broke up exactly 3 weeks before our wedding. In the end, it was mutual, but he initiated the break-up after weeks of fighting. We didn’t speak for about 6 weeks after the break-up. I went through undoing all of the wedding details with my family and friends, and then came the emotional ups and downs. After a few weeks of a “high” where I felt like I could do anything and everything and was enjoying my newfound freedom, I crashed, and the emotional weight led to a deep depression. During this phase of depression, I reached out to him and we began seeing each other again. After several months, I broke up with him again, knowing it just is not the right thing — it is not God! I firmly believe that he was not the one for me, but there is still so much healing to walk through. Your post resonated so deeply with me, because the little moments, the tiny things that make you miss that person, are what make this season the most difficult. The larger truths are obvious, but the heart aches for the companionship and friendship we once knew. Your words felt like a healing balm to my heart. It is so comforting to know that someone else has been through this event and come out, healed and whole, on the other side. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for sharing!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Andie,

      Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. It encourages me and solidifies why I knew it was the right time to share. I really believe God was telling me wait, and it took YEARS later for me to share my story, to be in the right place and for you to discover it at the right time. Praise God. I know what you mean with the high and the low, and the hope that you just want it to work so bad but it just doesn’t, somehow the pieces just don’t fit as badly as you wish they would. I completely get it and it’s heartbreaking to want something but God says no, and for His reason and for our own good. When you step away from it you can sometimes see how broken the seemingly perfect engagement was – and that’s why God intervenes. Then He brings people along side us to encourage us as He draws us closer to Him. I pray for your continued strength, growing faith and that you feel his presence when you feel alone. This was one of the hardest darkest times for me, but the good news is that there is an end, and one with a happy ending – just not with who you thought, but with someone greater than you could have ever imagined. Praying for you sister! xx

  • Ashley

    Diana,
    Thank you so much for sharing your experience! You are amazing. My fiancé ended things a week ago. One day we were going to our wedding tasting and then two days later I’m coming home from work and he is standing there with his car already packed. I feel so many emotions. I escaped to my sisters house in Florida because I just can’t deal with it at this time. I go home in a few days to pack all of my things in his house. I just keep blaming myself for everything. I received so many text messages him his family and friends all saying how sorry they were. It’s all so overwhelming and I’m really just trying to take one day at a time. I felt like this was it. I already had a failed relationship, I thought this was different. He is so cold towards me. I have to reach out to him to tell him when I won’t be at the house so he can be there. It’s all just so raw. You said turn to Jesus which I am trying to do, but I feel mad at him. I just don’t get how this could of happened. We argued but so does every couple. I feel like he wanted this perfect relationship that I couldn’t give him. I am trying to turn to friends but they are all married with kids and I don’t want to put my burden on them. Thank you again for writing this article. It really did help

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Ashley,
      Thank you for your comment and sharing your story, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I understand exactly what you are going through and there’s a few things I want to say that I hope encourages you as you continue to heal. 1) Do not blame yourself for someone leaving. It has little to do with you and much more with them and what their expectations are, or what they are struggling with or whatever their issue is. You were just fine for the years you were together, this has absolutely NOTHING to do with you and don’t replay anything you should or could have done. That would be torture and not a relationship you should want to be in, walking on egg shells. 2) It is OK to have “failed” relationships. We are people who fail, we are in an imperfect world. Not everyone is a match for us. You are looking for a partner, someone who is your best friend who loves your unconditionally even when times are bad. If he left now whether you were arguing or not, then he’s in for a great surprise when he gets married. It takes compromise, communication, and it’s two imperfect people marrying each other. If he can’t see into, forget him. 3) It is OK to be upset and it’s OK to tell God that you are mad over all of this. He wants to listen. I too felt very upset and then I realized that I know God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good. And this world is not perfect and our lives may not be perfect here, this is not heaven. Being here is about being refined to be Christ-like through tribulations and to give Glory through God throughout our lives, it’s not about us, it’s about Him. 4) There is no such thing as a perfect relationship and if he thinks he needs that, good luck to him trying to find it. 5) Turn to friends and remember they will be there as much as they can. They might have things going on, but please do allow them to be there for you. Tell them you need them and if it helps share this post with them so they know how to be there for you. I’m praying for you and please know that God knows best and you are His precious child. This one guy made a big mistake, but lucky for you, you now are able to find someone who will truly love you and won’t abandon you. I am here if you have any questions. xx Diana

  • Nthabeleng

    Hi my name is Nthabeleng and i am from South Africa,I was engaged to a man I loved for 5years and we have a 3 year old daughter together.We were in a long distance relationship and we had made plans for me and our daughter to move to East London with him.On the 16th of December 2018 we were at a festival and we had a fight there,he decided to just leave and left me there with his friends, later on I received a message from him telling me that he packed my bags and that he wants me to leave his place and that it is over between us.I did as he said and we didn’t talk for the whole December holidays,he didn’t even call his daughter to wish her Merry Christmas or Happy New Year.Yesterday I send him a message and asked him why he hasn’t been calling his daughter and if we can’t fix things.He replied and told me that it’s not possible and he asked to call and speak to the child.This completely broke my heart and it made me realise that it really is over for good.I am struggling to come to terms with this,I feel like just dying but when I look at my daughter I just feel guilty and selfish for even thinking that.I just want to pick up the pieces and move on but it’s hard because I still love him.

  • Leslie

    Diana,
    Thank you so much for sharing your experience. My engagement lasted all of 12 days after a 7 year relationship. In those 12 days, we “happily” announced it to our families and friends. Although I know (logically) that in the end I will be okay, emotionally, I am not there yet. I feel like a fool for having spent so much time waiting for something that, in hindsight, was only a result of-I don’t know, panic maybe? Thank you for normalizing this experience for me. I am grateful to God that this happened now as opposed to post marriage or closer to the wedding with deposits locked and loaded. I am constantly trying to remind myself that God’s plans are greater than my own, greater than I could even imagine, and your story gives me hope. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Leslie, Thank you for being here and sharing your story with us. Whether it was 12 days after being proposed to, or 12 months, I know that the dreams for the rest of your life in your mind and heart were there. Less time does not lessen the pain when it is called off. It’s OK to not feel OK emotionally right now. The mind is so powerful and sorting through so much change, shock and reality that seems unreal at the moment. I felt like a fool too, something I should have known was coming, but we cannot beat ourselves up for having faith in others. If anything that shows our belief in change and the hope for the future. I am glad that God is working in your life and you have a good relationship to know that God is good all the time and working for your good according to His plan for you. There is much to be grateful for, with it being on this side of marriage and also to not have lost deposits (as I and many have), but even so, it’s a small price to pay for not being with the right person. Prayers to you sweet Leslie, I am excited for your journey and I know it’ll be a beautiful and happy ending! xx

  • Lisa

    Dear Diana,
    I will begin by saying that I have to thank you. I mean sincerely thank you for your courage in telling your story.
    It’s a hope that I need as I go through something similar.
    My ex-fiance and I had an extraordinary romance. It was magical, more beautiful than any other love I had ever experienced. When he proposed, I accepted and a few months later I gave up my apartment and most of my belongings and me and my dogs moved into his house in a new town. We have lived together for over a year and 3 months ago he told me he was sorry but that he just didn’t want to pursue a life with me and the dogs, and he wanted to be alone. He said he wasn’t happy and the relationship was not what he hoped it would be. We had disagreements (mostly because he is so self-centered and super controlling) as all couples do, but I would never in a million years have thought that it was nothing that we could have worked on.
    To make matters worse, we still live together as I searched for a new place to live. Unfortunately this proved to be difficult due to my dogs, which are my family and I am not getting rid of them…something he always had a problem with.
    I finally found a new place and will be moving in a few weeks,.
    I was heart broken about the break-up but that was nothing compared to what came next.
    He left his phone on the kitchen table when a text message came in. His phone lit up, and I saw a picture of him and this new girl.
    After the initial shock, my heart officially broke into a million pieces.
    To say I was hurt would be an understatement. I have cried so much I have given myself migraines.
    I have barely ate and probably am down about 10lbs now. I feel physically sick.
    So many questions, I have. Whose the girl? How long has this been going on?
    Did he lie to me when he said he wanted a life alone only to turnaround and start a new relationship so soon or was he already in it?
    I felt like he punched me in the face and afterwards laughed all the way into the arms of a new love.
    To make matters worse as I pack to move I came across all these letters and notes he had written to me saying how much he loved me which brings on even more tears. If that’s even possible at this point. When will the tears stop?!
    I feel so much despair, so much sadness, so much grief, so much pain. As a woman of faith I actually wondered if God hated me for making me go through this. I just don’t even know how to begin to recover from this.
    I am moving soon, so I guess that’s a start but it all so bittersweet now.
    I’m just at a loss right now but your post is giving me some hope when I have so little of it right now.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Lisa, thank you for sharing your story and your heart. I am so sorry about the highs and lows this relationship has given you. I know control, I know how difficult that can make a relationship. And if I can give you some advice, I would say throw away those cards and letters and photos. If you can’t get yourself to do that yet, box them up and give them to a friend to hold on to until you can tell her to throw them away. Delete voicemails, get rid of anything that would make you feel bad – it only hurts and prevents you from moving on. There is no point in looking back, you have to guard your heart. Regarding the new girl, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if there was or wasn’t someone or if what you are or aren’t. You are wonderfully made, you are a child of God. What you deserve is a man who is 100% committed to you, your dogs, everything. Better for him to show his colors now than after and be going through a divorce. I promise you will love again, deeply, and romance while is incredibly sweet, and sweet words can make our heart dance, it is not enough for a long-lasting marriage. Commitment, freedom, friendship and trust, and unconditional love is what will – and I pray that you feel that one day. I would say that you should know God’s character, I know you do. God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. Look at this situation as one that God has protected you from, and He has greater plans for you, and trust that. It will take time. Keep your chin up, praying that God draws you closer to Him during this time and I am here if you have any questions or struggles and just need someone to talk to. xx

  • Bonnie

    Thank you for your post. I am currently going thru an engagement breakup. It just happened and is still very raw. I feel that my world has been shattered. I found out he was living a double life. I still Have my plane ticket which is non refundable, for what would’ve been our wedding in April. He has taken the coward route with family and friends. He won’t speak to me and has blocked me since I found Out the the truth. I dont Understand how someone could be so cruel. And how he could flip this on me and be the coward. I’m left with so much hurt and emotion. Not only of the deception, but to be the one he is blaming and to know he’s not even man enough to speak to me. Your post gives me hope though. It gives me hope that eventually everything will be okay. Not right now, but eventually.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Bonnie, I’m so sorry about what you are going through. I think it may be best you don’t talk – as much as it hurts, and as much as you may want answers . It will be easier to move on and go into the future. I know you will have hard times but I promise better days await, you WILL get out of this feeling and be happy again – with someone who is honest, and worth of your time and future. I’m praying for you sweet Bonnie. x

  • Lisa Chandler

    Thank you for sharing. I, too, am currently going through a broken engagement. We have known each other all of our lives and have been in a relationship for 11 years, engaged for three. We never set a date…well he always jokingly said November 27, 2027. We are both 51 years old and still live in the little town we grew up in. I have 3 grown kids from a previous marriage ages 32, 26 and 22. Their dad passed away 17 years ago. Van and I lived together on a houseboat since July. (I still have my house, though). The houseboat was fairly large (3 bedroom, 2 bath, upper deck). So of course we had lots of friends over during the summer…tons of fun. But around November I started noticing the signs…hiding phone when in shower, hanging up or shutting off phone when I entered the room, posting inappropriate pics of women in bikinis on social media and laughing about it. Well he left out in his airplane around lunch Friday, January 25 to go look at a new engine in Arkansas. Never answered my calls or texts all night. So I knew. Didn’t know who but I knew. He finally text me at noon the next day and it said, “I was alone, just saying.” I never accused him or asked any questions because with that text I knew it would be nothing but lies. So that Sunday and Monday I packed up all of my belongings on the boat and moved everything back to my house, he even helped me. He said, “Let’s just take a break.” “Don’t do anything crazy and don’t be telling everyone. The fewer people that know, the better.” I asked him if he had lost his mind…(yes, he had gone out on me twice in the 11 years and I always forgiven him and let him come back). But I was determined not to ever do it again (especially since he had finally broke down and surprised me the the engagement ring and it’s a beauty). Well four short days later I get a text from a friend of ours asking who he was in the Mexican restaurant with. I text back…don’t know, don’t care. So they sent a picture…it was one of my lifelong friends! My very best friend from kindergarten until we both got married and she moved to a town about an hour from here. We still occasionally talked and text and shared things on Facebook but weren’t really “best” friends anymore. However, she was planning to go to the beach with us in April. She divorced about 3 years ago and was already engaged again up until Last July). So February 1 she moved right in on that boat and they have been inseparable ever since. My heart is shattered over this double whammy! My mind won’t shut off. I have a 3 year old grandson who stayed with us almost every weekend and a few days during the week too and Van got him up, fed him, dressed him and took him to my mom’s (my daughter is a nurse and works nights). He is also heartbroken. He just doesn’t understand why he cant call Van or see Van and Van’s mom or why he can’t go to the boat. This is just so devastating. I know God has bigger and better things in store for us. I know this. But it sure isn’t easy at the moment. All of our families are close and I live around the corner from her mom. It’s just so crazy. She text me for first time 2 days ago and they weren’t very nice. His sister has even sent a text like he’s the victim! I almost can’t deal anymore….So if you could include us in your prayers, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Lisa, thanks for being here and I hope you found some encouragement. Thanks for sharing your story. I cannot imagine the disappointment and heartbreak this has caused. I will add you to my prayer list and hope you find healing and comfort in God’s plans for your future. xx

  • Katie

    I read your blog post with tears in my eyes. It’s been almost 2 weeks since the man I was suppose to marry told me he wanted me to leave. We have spent the last 5 years together, with one break up where we got back together and agreed we could never live without eachother again… and spent the last year applying for a k1 visa (as I’m from Canada and he is from the U.S) I left everything behind for him. Long story short- he struggles with addiction and being bipolar. He was verbally abusive to me one night, but assured me he would see a councillor and stop. I suggested we postpone the wedding a few weeks as it was just going to be a courthouse wedding. The week after he started seeing the councillor he blew up at me and told me to leave his house. I know the relationship wasn’t healthy but I feel so responsible for asking to postpone the wedding. The morning I moved back to canada we both cried and he asked me to stay. I told him I couldn’t, all my things were in the van ready to go. I hold onto these moments I could have stayed and they haunt me every day. He is no longer speaking to me and I am so sad beyond words. He has been my best friend for the past 5 years. I feel like I left a part of me in the US and the life I thought we were going to have. I came home to no job, no anything. I’m living in my parents basement. This has been the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. It’s so hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel..

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Lauren, Thank you for being here. I am sorry about your heart break and thank you for sharing your story. His addiction and bipolarness is a hard one to deal with for the rest of your life if it’s already hard right now. I know that things are hard, but I hope that you find positiveness through the healing and stay confident in what your mind his telling you. I have heard stories of women going through this and being in the EXACT same position. They moved and gave up everything and come back with no job and no place. Here’s what I will tell you – what a blessing to have this safe place to retreat even if it wasn’t how you thought it would turn out. This is where you reset. This is where you regain your strength to pick yourself and the pieces of your heart back up and you carry on. You take it day by day and you find the simple joys in the life you are living now and what awaits. Sweet girl it will be so good. Being an outsider and have gone through this I can tell you that I know you will heal, you will fall in love, deeply in love again and it will be much better, healthier for you. I pray you learn to love what’s good for you and you are surrounded with support and love! xx

    • Yan

      Hi Katie,

      I don’t know you but your story really resonated with me. I’m dealing with a broken engagement, just 2 weeks and I almost moved across the world to be with my ex (I’m from the UK, he lives in the US). I didn’t start the immigration process, so can only sympathise with the amount of actual things you had to sacrifice. What I can say though is that it could always be worse, of course for each of us it’s devastating (I’ve never been so emotionally unstable in my life). But look at it this way, at least you’re not stranded in a country where you don’t know anyone, you don’t have kids to add more complication (from what I understand), but even then there is always a silver lining. Sometimes no matter how much you want something, some things aren’t meant to be, so focus on yourself and your happiness. What are things you want from YOUR life. Don’t let someone else dictate that. We are all coming from different places in our lives, but you should know you’re not alone in how you feel, stay strong and know that as time passes it will get easier. Be kind to yourself :)

    • Florence

      Hi Katie!

      I can imagine what you are going through. I can relate to your story because I am also a foreigner (Asian) engaged to an American. It’s hard to give up everything to pursue marrying the person you love and then it won’t go the way you hoped for. You will bounce back. The pain is just temporary. I know it’s easier said than done. Surround yourself with wonderful people, talk about the pain instead of bottling it up. The next thing you know, you are your whole self again. I wish you all the best. You are not alone.

  • Jazmine

    I am so blessed to have read your story! It has given me a little bit of hope. My fiancé broke off our engagement this past December and seems to be just fine. I’ve been broken since then. He hasn’t spoken to me or anything. He just cut me out of his life completely and I’m stuck here wondering if he will ever miss what he gave up and come running back but I know in my heart that he won’t. We never argued and had very few disagreements. He just broke it off one day stating that he feels we aren’t compatible anymore and he fell out of love with me. It’s so hard to breathe sometimes without him here but he just moved on and is living his life without any problems. I just don’t understand. Please respond. I feel like I need you right now. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this though time I’m having. I try to pretend that I’m doing fine but really I’m completely broken inside. I’ve been working out and trying to get out the house more but it just seems like I’m going through the movements everyday.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Jazmine, Thank you for being here and sharing your story with me. I know there are so many questions, you hope he regrets it too, for the rest of his life because that would only be fair the feeling you are left with, a broken heart and abandonment. I know girl. But here’s what I realized that helped me move on – I recall when I would break up with guys and I had moved on from them and would have to deliver the news. So knowing that, I was aware he had a few more days and time to move on from me and so he had a head start for recovery. That angered me and that made me realize you know, he’s moved on, he’s not heartbroken over this, in fact he was willing to pay the penalty for deposits to be gone to NOT marry me. What? That really shows he’s moved on, and that was my dose of reality that helped me move forward and forget about his feelings or thoughts. I still had to sort through my own emotions and hard times but I worked through that, went to counseling and slowly found strength. Don’t be hard on yourself, it will take time. Guard your heart – don’t replay things, don’t listen to sad love songs, read self-help books or journal. Work out, find a hobby, meet up with friends and just be in motion. And it’s also OK if you don’t feel like it either and you want to be in bed all day, but give yourself that one day then back to living life. Slowly it will feel like your life is back to being yours on a new path. xx

  • Elise

    I can not thank you enough for this post! My engagement was broken off and it sounds like our experiences were very similar. I’m two months out, but have been feeling stuck and so sad. Your post and vulnerability were exactly when I needed to find today. I love your perspective and that you turned to God. I’m thankful to know that it will be worth it one day when I really do find the love of my life!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Elise, thank you for being here and encouraging me with your comment. It makes me glad that I listened to God that it was the right time to share my story even all these years later. I know it’s hard, I know exactly how you are feeling and I also know that God is good all the time and that you will one day be glad this happened and everything is in His hands. xx

  • Cc

    Thank you for writing about this and sharing about your experiences. It brought encouragement to me. My ex broke up our engagement last January. We have been together for 8 years. He was my first love and I never really expected our relationship to end. We quarrelled a lot especially during the wedding planning but I felt like we could have still worked on our problems. After the break up I have been on an emotional roller-coaster. Some days are better than the others, but most days I feel like I am just going through the motions. I feel lost. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I can ever love again. I try to do devotion and I convince myself that God has a better plan for me.. But some days it’s just too painful.

  • Abby

    I have been looking everywhere for some sort of hope and encouragement that everything will work out. My fiancé called the wedding off 2 weeks ago and said that he no longer thinks we’re a good match. He had no reason for calling it off and says that he still loves me. I know that it is not love because if it was he would never hurt me like this. He says he is just not ready. We have been together for 6 years and I feel like a whole part of me is missing. How can he actually not want me in his life anymore when I was ready to spend the rest of mine with him? It came as a huge shock to me and I did not see this coming at all. The worst part is I feel that I will never not love him. On top of that, I have 3 board exams in the next 2 weeks to get my dental hygiene license. This could not be at a worse time and I feel so lost. Your story is amazing and I am so happy you found your perfect person. I just hope someday I can find mine too…

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Abby, I am sorry you are going through this and thank you so much for sharing your story. I know the pain but I want to encourage you that it’s best this happened on this side of the marriage than after. I am sorry about your board exams, so so sorry love. I’ll be lifting you up in prayer and hope that you can find the strength to focus on each question and try your absolute best. There is never a good timing for a broken heart. I had my birthday two weeks after, then the holidays came. I know you will find your happy ending in time – and this just wasn’t it, he wasn’t it. I am praying for your heart and situation Abby. If you have any questions I am here.

  • Sarah

    Dear Diana, My Fiancee has just broken up with me. 1 week before the wedding. The tidal wave of emotions has been so hard to deal with. I feel sad that we wont go forward together and that he already had ended it in his mind, that he seems ungulity. But reading your post has spoken to me. God wants me to know through you that he does love me eventhough its hard to see it now. The wedding was meant to be this Saturday and I still feel shock and saddness in the mornings realising. Im going to write a letter to my future husband. I hope he is out there and I can meet him soon. My friends have been amazing and so have my family. I do still feel pain and it is hard, and will be for a while.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Sarah, I am so sorry, 1 week before. Oh my heart just broke for you. God absolutely loves you, even though your heart is breaking. He has a better plan and this experience will bring so much glory to Him – how you walk through this trial, how you worship and praise Him and your story of healing will bring hope to others one day. And, as you dance with God, he will let the perfect man cut in – in his time. No rush. I found that through my experience strengthened my walk with the Lord – as well as my friendships. I will be praying for you sweet girl, please remember God doesn’t make mistakes and so this is part of His plan and God is good all the time. xx

  • Sarah

    Thank you Diana, I cried so much reading your reply. May God bless you and your husband a lot. Just one day I know it will be ok eventhough I can’t see it now. I have written my letter to my future husband, and I can’t wait to give it to him. Just one question I had how did you convince yourseld to start dating again? I know that might be a while away for me but I feel encouraged by your testimony, Love Sarah

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Sarah. I knew I wasn’t ready to date because my heart was still heavy. I was still consumed with what happened and I wasn’t in a hurry to date again. I really wasn’t. I wanted to be healed before I moved on and really be free from what happened. So I went through months of counseling and just waited. I had a friend who wanted to set me up with someone and she told me about him in February, she said, “When you area ready.” and I just knew I wasn’t yet. I remember telling her when I was ready (that relationship didn’t last long at all) but I just knew when I was ready to open up my heart again – I was excited and happy even just being alone and where I was. I didn’t feel like there was a hole in my heart anymore. And that’s when I realized I was ready to get out there again. There is no rush and you may not find your future husband for five years or who knows, so don’t feel like you have to rush. God controls it all. xx

  • Parul Oberai

    Hi Diana. Thanks for your post. It really helped me a bit to heal through something similar that happen to me few days back. I am still recovering from it. Would like to speak with you if you are comfortable doing so. Let me know.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Parul, I hope you are recovering well. You are in my prayers!

  • Hope

    Thank you so much.

  • DOREEN AKANKWASA

    Dear Diana. Thanks for your post. I can only imagine what you went through. I am going through a very hard time too over the same. I would like you to help me, kindly would you help me through my healing process. Since February till now I am soaked in tears, I need somone to talk to.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Doreen, I’m so glad you found my post and hope it encourages you. I don’t have any counseling experience but I recommend finding one though a church or a professional counseling that can help. It takes time. Also your friends and family are a great resource to walk through this with you as you heal, let them be there for you. I promise one day you will move past this and find the happily ever after ending you deserve. You are in my prayers.

  • James

    Dear Author,
    I am thankful you allowed commentary on your blog. My situation mimes the variables you propose in your blog. My ex fiance. She took everything. She valued herself and materials over all things. One day she said while we sat next to eachother in bed “this is not working”. After hearing those words I came to a solution to leave in two weeks. My personality or lab dog like traits allowed me to believe this was acceptable. My life ever since has been hell. I did not mention that I sacrificed everything to purchase a house with her, slaving for renters and property gains under her name. As I write this. I realize I am a fool and a materialistic clown. I have worked 12 hours a day, 7 days a week for 3 years after she kicked me out to purchased a foreclosure. I find myself not only slaving for the government but to make up for loses after what she took from me. The saddest part. I can only remember how she felt. I force myself to remember how bad she treated me. I force it. Otherwise. I continuously recall her soft skin. Her loving touch. Perhaps I am cursed. Perhaps this is not the life I was meant to be a part of. The wrong time. Good night.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi James,
      Thank you for sharing your story and your heart with me. I understand the problem of remembering the good times and not the reality. That is exactly why you stayed in it for so long, you chose to focus on the other things. Sometimes, it can blind us from reality. Something that was said to me that really changed my thought process was said to me by my uncle, “You have to learn to love what’s good for you.” Then that made me turn it around. I do not know how fresh your breakup was, so take time to heal. Take time to unlearn things and time to recognize perhaps it wasn’t as good as you thought – and that you not only deserve better, you deserve to be loved for who you are and all the hard work you put into a relationship. You are not cursed my friend, this is just a hardship in time and it will pass. I read a blog post the other day (https://www.fridayfwd.com/this-will-pass/) and hope it brings encouragement to you. As a survivor of a wedding called off, I tell you that it will get better. It feels terrible now but in time, you will find freedom in your days, your life and a hope for a beautiful future that awaits. Just take it one day at a time. I’m here if you have any questions or need encouragement. “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

  • Nikki

    Thank you so much for this post and for sharing a memory of being vulnerable. I needed to read this. My fiance called off our engagement a week after I had moved in with him after over a year of long distance. I was awestruck and heartbroken, and I also found myself living in my car and scrambling to find a new job. I am currently still recovering from the total collapse that was the future I anticipated, but posts like yours have been so healing and helpful during this challenging time of my life journey. I am praying that God will show me the way through this time in my life, and I would love if you could keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Again, thank you for the inspiration and the guidance to healing.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Nikki, Thank you for coming on here and sharing your story. I am glad you came across this post. I am so sorry about what happened to you, that is absolutely heartbreaking. Living in your car, finding a job, that is tough but my goodness girl, this is a story that you can share when you MAKE IT THROUGH and you will. You are in my prayers, Lord I pray for Nikki and help give her the strength to get through this heartbreaking time, may she feel like she is in the palm of your hand. We pray for a good job, a new start, and confidence that she knows she is a child of the King, Lord and that you draw her closer to you as she learns to forgive and discover the path you have for her, Amen. Also, I wanted to share this quote with you a friend gave me that helped me during that time. “There is nothing – no circumstance, no trouble, no testing – that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ through me. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is – that is rest of victory!” -Alan Redpath. God bless you Nikki.

  • Nikita Venter

    Hi there, this blog post really made me feel better, even though it was just for a few minutes, but those few minutes made me realize that this isn’t the end to my story. My fiance broke off the engagement last night, with no real reason, he said “he needs time alone, and something changed in himself and he needs to figure out what it is”. I felt that that wasn’t a real excuse for breaking off an engagement, he promised me this amazing life, and now I feel I’ve lost everything. Even though I know that time heals all wounds, and that this too shall past, I just can’t get past what I’m feeling now. He didn’t give me closure, and I feel like I’ve lost the love of my life. He was the one who was eager to get married and start a family, so I don’t understand why he wanted to end it all. Did I do something wrong? Like you said in your post is does not help to question yourself and feel bad, because the fault may not lie by me. I just wish there was a handbook on how to deal with heartbreak :(

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Nikita, oh love, I am so sorry this is so fresh and I am glad you found my post the day after this happened. I hope it brought you some comfort. No reason will seem good enough, it just doesn’t make sense. I am sorry you are going through this confusion. I know that even though we know we will make it though, it doesn’t necessarily make the hurt go away. You just go day by day, work through the emotions, feel them and trust that God has a beautiful plan for you. I hope you don’t question or overthink anything what you have done, it has nothing to do with you. One guy made a bad decision but thank goodness it’s on this side of the marriage instead of after (trying to look at the bright side). I wish there was a handbook on heartbreak too – I think the only thing we know is that it will not kill you, and that should give hope to the future. I’m praying for your heart. xo

  • Hayley

    Thank you for sharing. It helps just to know that I am not alone. My fiancé broke off our engagement 2 and half weeks ago, 10 months before the wedding. He was my besftfriend for 2 years, and we’d been dating for 3 1/2, engaged for 6 months. To get married in the Catholic Church, we were required to go to marriage classes before the wedding. I thought they were going great. The wedding planning was going great, we agreed on everything. He said he was excited, and even expressed how happy he was that his sister was going to be a bridesmaid and that it meant so much to him. We had talked all about our future. The kids we would have, the house we would live in, all of it. I was so ready for that life.

    Then 2 and half weeks ago my heart shattered. He left. He said he doesn’t know when it happened or why, he just wasn’t in love with me anymore. This makes no sense to me. How do you just fall out of love?

    I tried to talk to him the first week. I’d call or text and he didn’t answer, or he did and it was with the most detached air to his messages. Like he didn’t have a care in the world. This is another part that torments me. I am going through hell, but he is fine?
    He has been going out to the bars with his friends every night since we broke up (I saw on social media before I blocked him). Meanwhile I don’t have a lot of friends. The few I have are busy. I’m in counseling but I feel as though I am drowning. I alternate between being sad and sobbing and literally screaming in the night from the pain, to the next moment just so angry. Angry that he would do this. Angry that he would do something we couldn’t come back from.

    Several times a day I think I can’t do this anymore. I have trouble finding a point to keep going. The fact that I’m still here tells me I must still have hope of being happy once again someday, but it’s a very small glimmer.

    • Maria

      Oh Hailey my called the wedding off last Friday and we were supposed get married last Saturday. Our relationship wasn’t perfect but we loved each other worked on the issues we have. But it took Thursday 4th we had a bbq celebration for our wedding his family flew in and I got drunk blackout and apparently I lashed out on him and his mother I took ownership of my actions but he didn’t want to get married. I feel so much guilt I lost the love of my life

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Hayley,

      Thank you for sharing your story and struggles. I am so sorry this has happened. I understand how heartbreaking and confusing it can be. I want you to know I listened and I understand. If I can give you advice on how I powered through those drowning feelings, I had to look at it this way – he had more time to move on than I did because he came to that conclusion. That kind of angered me and so I realized I needed to move on too. My mother was concerned and asked what I was going to do (I think she was afraid I’d do something drastic) and I said, “Just because one guy decided he didn’t want to marry me isn’t going to ruin my life.” It definitely hurt, but I wasn’t going to let one person ruin the rest of my life – a happy future that waited. I think that’s great you are in counseling. I felt like it got worse before it got better, so power through it, work through it so you can forgive and heal. Do it because YOU deserve it. Your happy future deserves it, and your true future husband and family are waiting for you in the future. It might not feel like you are moving forward but take it day by day. xx

    • Alina

      My fiancé told me exactly one month ago that he didn’t have the same feelings anymore and wanted to call off our wedding. We had been having ups and downs but I never thought he would just leave me, I thought we could work through anything. We were supposed to be married in the Catholic Church, we went through all the pre marital classes and he even converted to my religion. I am utterly heartbroken. We have been together 6 years, we have 6 dogs together. I feel like a part of me is missing. I am in a lease with him for another 6 months. He has been cold and hardly any interest in checking up on me. He has basically left me to cancel and deal with it all. I am struggling every day and I pray constantly for guidance from God because I still love him. I pray for strength and purpose in my pit of despair and I can’t thank you enough for making this blog and post that has helped me to know I am not alone.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Alina, Praying for you. Please join our FB community if you haven’t already. xx

  • Sarah

    Hi Diana,
    I have a question about what you did with any gifts & cards? This person used to write me love poems, with pictures of our faces on them. I want to rip it up and throw away all his gifts or donate them to charity. For now, they’re sitting in a bag in my closet.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Sarah, I tossed it all. Cards and notes I had sent with him the night he called it off (and I’m sure he tossed everything on my behalf). Gifts, I gave away to friends, donated, or I sold on eBay. I did keep a watch but it was a nice watch and I don’t care haha. I maybe didn’t wear it for a while after. That’s the ONLY thing I still have and it has no sentimental value to me. I say rip them up, burn them, do whatever makes you FEEL good. If that’s what you WANT to do, DO IT! I don’t even have a single photo of us. Once you let that heavy baggage go, I know you will feel lighter. We keep gifts and things around our home that spark joy, have sentimental value or purpose. Move it out of your precious space and mind. xo

    • Sarah

      I love that idea. To be honest, the cards are the most difficult part because of the words he wrote. Would mailing them back to him be a bad idea? I’ll dispose of the other gifts, but I can’t throw away/burn the cards. However, I know it’ll be no problem for him.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      I wouldn’t mail him back the cards. It may come off petty or that you are trying to prove a point to have him re-read it, and chances are, he won’t. And I don’t suggest reread them either to protect your heart. You can give them to a friend to dispose of for you at the right time. I have once kept my friend’s first wedding album until she was ready to let it go (years after her second marriage), I asked her a few years later and she said to toss them on her behalf. If there is anything that is monetary value that truly belongs to him, those are the only things to return. It sounds like you aren’t ready to let go of those cards, so you can give it time but giving it to him or throwing them away makes no difference (it is still out of your home which is where it should be). Something I would consider is being a woman of strength and class as you move forward.

  • Andrea

    Hi Diana,

    Thank you for your post. I read this post in the days surrounding my broken engagement in November. In July of last year, he asked me to move to Honduras to serve God beside him. I quit my job, sold my car, ended my lease, said good bye to my family, said good bye to my church and moved to Honduras 4 months before our wedding. We had guests internationally who bought flights. One week before what we planned for our wedding, he sexually assaulted me despite me trying to say no. He ended the engagement and told the pastors, his sisters, his church and even my parents that I was a liar and someone who hated the church, therefore I needed to be removed as a poisonous person. The entire church in Honduras sided with him and I was removed from our Bible study group and the pastors would not speak to me when I tried to contact them. I flew back to the United States on the week of our honeymoon and read your article. It has been several months and I am still struggling with the broken engagement. Since then I have gotten a new apartment, gotten a new job, started a Masters program in Counseling with the end goal of helping other women, and am attending a new church. However, these memories still haunt me and it is difficult to sleep at night: the grief is still incredibly heavy. Admittedly, I would come back to your article once in a while to remember your story. What advice would give me to forgive and heal?

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Andrea,

      Thank you for coming back and sharing your story. I am so sorry about what happened. What a journey and to be crushed like that. God knows the truth, and that is what really matters. You saw his true colors, what a disappointment, I am sorry. God spared you (though I am certain it may be difficult to see, I am sure). I am glad to hear you have a new life – amazing! I would say that God has brought you through this terrible pain and trauma so you can help others. Your story has you in a new career path with the ability to encourage others and do God’s work the the has for you. You are probably doing your spiritual gift and that is our purpose here – to do God’s will and use our spiritual gifts. If it were not for what happened to you, you may not be as bold, strong, or have this passion inside you now to pursue what the Lord has for you. Will seeing that help you forgive your ex for what he has done? Although incredibly terrible, and there are no excuses for his actions, something obviously is wrong with him and for that, poor him, but he is a part of what put you on a different track – a better one. I often continue to ask myself “why” repeatedly after every answer to dig deep. “Why have I not forgiven him?” because it hurts and he should not have done it. “Why does that bother me?” because he should never hurt others. But I have hurt others. I have sinned. and it leads me to realize I need to forgive because Christ forgave me. It is OK to still feel hurt, forgiving someone doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt anymore. So perhaps you have forgiven? In counseling I was asked to write every controlling action that he did to me that hurt, and say out loud, “(His name) I forgive you for ______” and go down the list, I bawled. Then I was told to rip up the paper and throw it away in the trash because if I truly forgave, then that was it. It was empowering. You are also so much better off where you are today, and that is something to be incredibly thankful for. xx

  • Maureen Johns

    Hi Diana,
    Thank you so much for sharing. Your words and advice were very helpful. My story is very similar. The engagement was called off last October and my life turned upside down. I was alone again..no future as i knew it..no clue where my life was going. My best friend was now cold and no more. All the family i was to join was no more. I saw a completely different side of him once he decided he was not in a place to be married. After it was over, he categorized every fault he ever saw in me. It was like pouring salt in the already open wounds. The pain was like no other. I was so sad emotionally and physically sick for a few months. The worst was calls from vendors, questions from people about the wedding. I just was brought to tears. I tried to start new hobbies, spend time with friends, pray, read.. all of the things i should over the next few months. It helped a bit. Now the “non” wedding date is approaching and i am falling apart again . Its like i am back where i started. I have a teen daughter i have to stay strong and healthy for. I already feel as if my choice has been a poor example for her. My faith has always been strong and now even that is not what it was. I just want to forget and move past but i cant seem to figure it out. I have tried to “date” but i have way too much more healing and am just emotionally unavailable. I know time heals . I just wish i could be a bit stronger and cope a bit better. I do have hope for my future but am just so very hurt and sad still.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Maureen, Thank you so much for sharing your story with me and I am so sorry about what happened. I identify strongly with your experience post breakup. After the breakup there’s no need to kick a person when they are already down, and I can imagine that’s how you feel. I am so sorry. I also want to tell you it’s normal to feel like you are progressing only to feel like you are restarting on your healing process. Your date is coming up and that is a big deal. Once the day passes, the important scheduled dates, (it may take time) you will begin to live through those days with wonder, awe and excitement. If you don’t feel like you are moving forward after (forgiving him and yourself) please seek counseling, Your church might offer free biblical counseling services. Just because a relationship didn’t pan out the way you thought or wanted does not mean you have failed or been a poor example to your daughter. Do not think that one bit. If anything be grateful that you are not in a relationship with someone who would still put you down post break up and you do not need to date if you don’t feel ready. I took many months before I felt ready and even so, I wasn’t in a rush to move on or find a husband. As the saying goes, “Dance with God and he will let the perfect man cut in.” It is OK to feel hurt and sad, I pray that God draws you near to him during this difficult time and I pray that you know and feel his presence.

  • Sara van tilburG

    Hi Diana, thank you for this amazing article which resonates with me on so many different levels. I have read it multiple times. My fiancée left eight months ago now with no warning or any conversation he just packed a bag and was gone. I thought I was healing but the feelings have all come back, after failed attempts at dating (maybe I’m not ready). My question to you is how to have faith that I won’t end up alone forever, I used to believe in fairytale love and sharing my life with one person who understood me. But now I find myself fearing I won’t find that one person I’m 29 and every one around me is getting married and having babies. I don’t know how to have faith again.
    Thanks for your time x

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Sara, Thank you so much for being here and sharing your story. I am so sorry your engagement came abruptly to an end. It is so disappointing to think you were about to be married to someone who couldn’t communicate like an adult after the time invested. It is OK to have feelings return – sometimes dating does that. I know it did for me and I took a break from dating for that reason. Or, I would focus on what exactly I was feeling and sometimes it would be more of a disappointment of being tired of dating opposed to actually returned feelings about the ex fiancé. I understand the pressure of age, I was there. As a woman who is 37 now, I can tell you a few things – getting married by a certain age doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t grant security or happiness. I have seen young marriages end before I even got married at 30. One of my best friends got married to the love of her life at 37 (and she’s drop dead gorgeous and had her pick and chose to never, ever settle. It is also his first marriage). My husband was 35 when we were married. I heard a pastor say, It is better to be single than in an unhappy marriage. That is something he tells his daughters. That resonated with me when I was single after the breakup and I remembered that. I wouldn’t worry because worrying will instead cause you to potentially take the wrong person and force them into a box that they don’t fit in. Pressure can make you settle and the rest of your life isn’t worth settling just so you can tick off a box in the timeline of your life. Stay focused on yourself, your goals, celebrate others, and be open. When you are single you radiate a glow. So make sure you go out and make yourself available to meet others (you said you are attempting at dating, failed attempt are fine. You are looking for ONE not many). Go to the grocery store in the evenings (I swear there are so many singles at Whole Foods or Safeway at night). Smile at others, and stay positive – have faith because you are a child of God wonderfully made with so much to offer. Do not settle, and don’t look at the calendar. xx

  • Helene

    Thank you so much! I didn’t see the end of our engagement coming, we just agreed to have kids… It’s difficult to explain to people, how somebody who seemed so in love, can break of an engagement. And it’s really nice to know that I’m not crazy, not the only one who felt this kind of pain and get a bit of guidence. (PS. Found your Spotify Playlist the first day of the broken engagement (didn’t know it was yours). I love it and it carried me though the day). Once again thanks for sharing.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Helene, thanks for being here and sharing your story. I’m so sorry about what you are going through – it is hard to explain and it’s hard to understand when we love fully. But of course you are not crazy and not alone. I receive many messages weekly and this post is one of the most popular which means many broken hearts land on this post. I am glad you found this post and I hope you are pushing forward. I am sending you a huge hug. I didn’t know Spotify playlists were searchable ;) So I kind of love that you found me twice, and I pray you find healing sweet friend. Stay strong and know that a better life and love awaits. I look forward to when you come back and share the good news with all of us.

  • Kelsey

    Thank you so much for this. I had this happen to me very recently and reading this really gave me hope. I love that I will be able to bring this up in hard times, and know that it will be okay.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Kelsey, Thank you for being here and I am so glad this post gave you hope. You will be OK in time, I know it’s hard to imagine time pass for us to heal, but it’s just what you need. Sending you a big hug. xx

  • Angie

    I called off the engagement with my ex. It had become emotionally draining and verbally abusive. I knew in my heart that he was not the one, but I continued the journey of ignoring the red flags. Finally it was that small voice that grew so loud that I had to call it off. 3 weeks before the wedding day. Almost 200 hundred attendees. Everything paid for, no reimbursements. But at that point I had decided that my peace of mind was priceless. I did not care what other people thought. I knew I had to exit this engagement quickly to save my self from being miserable with the wrong person. It has been empowering to walk away, but now that I am feeling the after math and the waves of emotions. I have refused to speak with him. It’s been a month. So in the mean time, I keep the faith, relook at old hobbies and basically take care of myself. No doubt this was a blessing that this happen. One person told me. “You dodge a bullet”

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Angie, I am proud of you to make that really difficult decision. The rest of your life is precious and you do not deserve that for the rest of your life. But, it doesn’t make it any easier when you probably still loved him and felt like you had obligations with wedding planning. I hope every day you are feeling stronger and even more relieved in the decision you made. I am so glad you found clarity before you walked down the aisle and while emotions come and go, maybe write a note down to yourself to remind yourself it was the right decision to read in the future if you ever feel a relapse. You have a bright future ahead! xx

    • ANGIE

      Hello Diana just wanted to give you an update of how I’m doing. It’s been about 4 months since I called of the wedding. I’m still hurting but not like in the beginning. A few weeks ago I decided to send my ex a note from my heart explaining why I made the decision. The note reflected both good and bad times in our relationship. His response back was horrible. It was clear that he did not care that he hurt me and caused this breakup. In fact this past weekend he posted a picture of himself with another woman at of all places a wedding event. I was numb. I had taken a break from social media but decided after months to look at his page. (should not have done this). I’m now off of social media again. I have never been a fan of it. It’s clear that I’m still hurting and dealing with waves of emotions but I’m moving forward. I have grown closer to GOD and now in a ministry that supports other women who are also broken. What I’m learning is the more I share my story with others and listen to other women stories the more I heal. Diane I still believe that GOD will send me a husband of his design. Just trying to keep strong in faith during the wait. Your post and comments from others continue to help me through this season.
      One question I meant to ask you was, what did you do with your wedding dress? My dress is in a preserve box awaiting my pick up from the boutique store. The store owner who was my designer, told me whenever I’m ready. They will hold it for me. I almost cried. Every day I wrestle with the thought.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Angie,

      Thank you for your update. I am sorry that his response wasn’t what you hoped. I find that the only response we ever want is one that comes on its own, and sometimes it never comes. We rarely get the response we wish to have when we reach out, it’s really difficult and makes it hard on our hearts when that happens. But, may it just reaffirm our decision to continue moving forward! God doesn’t waste pain.

      I didn’t have my dress, I had given my ex everything out the door when he left, but he tried to return things of mine months after (long, non important story). So he probably sold it. I did however have to sell my ring which is a hard realization of letting something symbolic go. But then, was it ever symbolic if there was no commitment behind it? I say, have a friend pick up your dress and you can either sell it online (have a friend do it for you) or have a friend keep it in their storage or closet for you when you are ready to see it and get rid of it. If it triggers memories now, have a friend handle it for you so you do not have to see it. But also remember, this is just a wedding dress. It is just an item. You will have another one, a better one, with a better man at a better time. Take your time to process there is no rush or timeline on healing. xx

    • ANGie

      Thank you Diane for your response.

    • angela darby

      Hello Diana, wanted to give you an update. I am doing well much stronger than before. It’s now been almost 8 months and just when I think I have fully moved on with my thoughts about my ex, they have suddenly reappeared a lot in the last coupled days and I don’t know why. I woke up in the middle of the night and felt the need to unblock his number, I wrestled with this thought, unblocked his number and then reblocked it again. Why now the thoughts of him returning. I am so done with this. Wanted to know if thoughts of your ex still happen on occasion. When did you finally have true peace in your mind?

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Oh sweet Angela, I am so sorry. It’s just a wave. Have you heard of John Mayer’s song “emoji of a wave”? that’s what I think. I know 8 months of moving on is so great then it hits you. It’s trauma, it’s hard, it’s not easy. It’s life changing. It will happen and be easy on yourself. Pray through it, feel it and let it go. If you find yourself being triggered it could be from songs, movies, etc. you never know. It’s normal to feel a wave but I am glad you didn’t call him. You can also call your phone carrier and possibly block at a higher level you can’t mess with unless you call back. Feeling this is normal, even when moved on I will get a wave of thoughts sometimes when I’m most happy and I think my life could be different than the wonderful one I’m living. I know one day those thoughts will pop up and you’ll smile knowing you wouldn’t have it any other way. Xx please consider joining our Facebook group if you need support, I added the link to the post.

    • angela darby

      Diane thanks again for your response and you’re right it’s just a wave. This will pass. I will go ahead and check out your Facebook page thank you.

  • Ali

    I was supposed to get married June 22, 2019. A few weeks before the wedding, I was experiencing crippling anxiety about a huge wedding and being in front of so many people. I was finishing nursing school at the time, he was finishing law school, studying, moving into a new home, fixing it up, etc. so many new changes! I talked to my fiancé about how I was having anxiety and even at one point he told me “You don’t have anxiety. Stop saying that.” But I do, it’s bad. Anyways, for a solid week we went back and forth about postponing our wedding until after we took exams to help ease the anxiety or even have a smaller wedding/go to the courthouse. He told me he didn’t know how his family would react but that everything should be okay. He is the one who sent the text to our wedding planner. Not me. That night, he went over to his parents to tell them we decided to postpone the wedding. His parents agreed that was a smart decision and his mom ever mentioned us running off and getting married. Everything was fine. A few days later, we were laying in bed about to go to sleep and I was scrolling Facebook. I noticed that his cousin cropped me from a picture that was taken at my Bridal shower and made it her profile picture. I mentioned it to my fiancé and he said he can’t control what his family does and that was it. The next day, I noticed that the border of the picture was her camera roll, and she had screenshotted tons of my pictures from social media. (And I have no clue why??!) anyways, later that day… things were fine, I asked him what time he would be home and he replied. However, his aunt sent a picture in his family group chat that I was included in and it said “I owe myself the biggest apology for putting up with what I didn’t deserve.” And everyone was commenting on how they loved that quote! I was confused. A few minutes later, I was deleted from the group chat. I texted him and asked why and his reply “Says my grandma did. It’s over, you need to get your stuff and go home.” Turns out, his aunt came over and was telling him how I didn’t love him or want to marry him or I would be running down the aisle to him. That nothing should play a factor in that. I was going to make a terrible wife etc. He believed her. That evening, I moved everything out of the house. The next morning, I showed up around 8:30 to talk to him. He called his aunt and she didn’t know I was sitting beside of him. She again told him how I don’t love him, I’m just using him for his happiness, I would make a terrible wife, I’m self centered, only care about myself, etc. he never once took up for me. He just let me set there and listen to it. He called his mom and tried to get her to come talk to us and she wouldn’t. I’ve tried contacting his mom twice and she won’t respond. She told my fiancé she has nothing to say to me. When this first happened, he told me his mom has to approve and if she doesn’t then neither does he. He kept me strung along for 2 months after that. Calling me, telling me he loves me, having me come over, but hiding me and saying he wasn’t in a good place for a relationship but he still wanted to talk and hang out. He didn’t come to my graduation, he said he had to study. He went to the beach and the day he got home, he FaceTimed me and acted so excited to see me. He told me I look so pretty and asked if I was coming to see him. I did. Everything was perfectly fine. We had a great evening laughing and talking. He acted like everything was great. That night, I left and went home. I didn’t hear from him at all until 6 PM the next day. He called me and told me things weren’t going to work out because he found text messages on his moms phone of his family talking about how terrible of a person he is (assuming because he is still talking/hanging out with me) he said he doesn’t want his family to think terrible things of him because what they think matters. I haven’t talked to him since. It’s been 3 days. I’m confused, heartbroken, devastated, betrayed. He tells me he loves and cares about me but How can you love and care about someone but not fight for them? How can his family and what they think have that much of an impact? He is a grown man. What hurts the most, is his family completely shunning me like I was never apart of their family for years. Didn’t even give me a chance to talk. All over having anxiety. I should be so mad about this but I love him so much.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Ali, thank you so much for being here and sharing your story. I’m sorry about what you are going through – this is quite complex and very difficult with his family. With his puzzling behavior I can’t imagine how puzzling you must feel. I don’t think people understand anxiety if they do not struggle with it, so it’s hard to receive empathy which is so unfortunate. I am praying for you and hope that you can communicate to a conclusion that works for the both of you that brings you peace. You both deserve to make a choice that’s right for the two of you, without family’s opinion. If he is constantly looking for their approval, you may find it being a difficult marriage that doesn’t just consist of the two of you, but ALL of you and that’s not a marriage you want to be in.

  • dee

    Dear Diana, Thank you so much for sharing your experience with the world. I could relate to a lot of what you wrote. My wedding was cancelled this past June, 2 weeks before the date and my 9 year relationship just ended this month. To make things worse, he didn’t formally end anything, he just ghosted me, it has been 11 days since I’ve heard from him, but even one day is too many. I knew there were things we were working through, mostly regarding his family and their requirements of me… I just always thought that after 9 years, we could work it out, I guess he didn’t feel the same. I always thought he was kind, caring, good-hearted, respectful, it’s hard to accept that that same person would cut off contact with me instead of having a conversation about us going separate ways. I thought that after 9 years, I at least deserved that. I feel so broken. I cry all the time. I feel like a zombie. It’s hard to do anything. I know God has his plans for me, I trust that. I trust that this was God’s way of protecting me- I just can’t help but mourn the loss of my partner, my friend. As stupid as it sounds, I miss him and everything we had. I’m seeing a counsellor, I just hate going through this. My heart hurts. Your story gives me hope. Thank you again for sharing a piece of yourself with us.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Dee, You have been on my mind all week and I’ve been wanting to sit down and properly write you back. Thank you for being here and sharing your story and your heart. I cannot imagine what you are going through with no closure, and no communication after all these years. I am so sorry. I understand exactly what you mean with a person changing their character after a breakup. It is OK to feel sad, to feel broken and feel it fully in order to process it and heal. I know you miss him, if you didn’t care then I would be concerned that you were marrying for the wrong reasons but you loved fully, you stepped out in faith, and you gave it your all. And that my dear, you should have no regrets doing. Do not be afraid to do it again one day, in time. I love that you trust God and you know He has a plan for you. This quote was given to me during my broken engagement and it gave me so much peace and I pray that it does the same for you. “There is nothing – no circumstance, no trouble, no testing – that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ through me. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is – that is rest of victory!” -Alan Redpath. I am praying the Lord draws you closer to Him during this time and surrounds you with support. I’m here if you have any questions. xx

  • Neha Fernandez

    Hi Diana, reading your story has given me so much peace and hope. my engagement just broke up, 6 months before the wedding, as my ex fiance, who had insecurity problems was unable to resolve my mistakes from years ago, a time where we both were growing up and learning ourselves.

    We had spent 10 years together, 4 out which we were engaged, during a time where I sacrificed and shared so much with him and his family, but not so much from his end. These past few months have been a real trial, considering that I was also undergoing therapy for a sever anxiety breakdown, when he decided to break the news to me. Even with a suggestion of a therapist to work things out, considering the length of our relationship, he wouldn’t consider the possibility of saving our relationship, but rather choose to end it. This story has created the perfect beginning for me to help and heal myself and to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

    Here’s hoping to get a new beginning like you did.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Neha, thank you for being here and sharing your story. I’m really sorry about this painful experience, 10 years is a very very long time to be together. I am rooting for you to move forward not only from this heartbreak on your own, but the issues you are going to therapy for. I’m praying for you to receive the strength you need and hope that you find the next few months and years as a way to rediscover yourself, and reinvent yourself if necessary, and most of all GROW into the amazing woman that God has made you to be. While your story with him might come to an end, your story has just begun. Sending you a big long hug and cheering for you, sweet friend. xx

  • Melissa Ramrashad

    Hi Diana,
    My fiance came home last Wednesday, and while I was making him dinner (that he had texted and asked for earlier that day) told me that we had to go our separate ways. And asked my to leave his condo (I was living there for more than a year) and take all my things with me. I was so shocked, I basically sat down and couldn’t move for 10min. I couldn’t process what had suddenly switched in his head because that morning he had promised that we wouldn’t leave me. I don’t know how to make sense of all of this and it would be nice to talk about this with someone who has gone through this.

    Thank you

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hello Melissa. I am so sorry about what happened, what a shock. This sounds like a man who cannot figure out what he wants and that is so disappointing and I hate how he delivered that news to you. I’m so so sorry. I had to realize that sometimes men don’t just suddenly have a switch that goes off, though it might be the first time we hear it, they have continued to lead us on. Decisions like that rarely happen over night or from one minute to the next. I wouldn’t waste time trying to figure out or make any sense of the situation. I didn’t. I knew that what he did and choose to say to me was final and I decided to move forward. I know your heart needs to catch up and grieve before you move on. There are stages to grief and you will find yourself going through those stages until your heart heals. https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/ I want to remind you that you are a wonderful child of God, He has a plan for you, and while we may not know WHY this happened, there is something awaits, a life ahead that is unknown and will start to become beautiful to you once you find healing. This just happened to you so I am sure you are in a daze but stay strong and know you deserve to be with someone who chooses you every day. Anything less than isn’t worth saying “I do.” Please email me if you have specific questions, I’m adding you to my prayer list. XO

  • Jane

    Diana,
    I called off my wedding two weeks ago, well technically we both called it off. It doesn’t really feel real. I am numb, and sad, so immensely and overwhelmingly sad. These have been the hardest 2 weeks of my life. I moved out of our apartment and back in with my parents. I am 33 and I have truly never felt more lost in my entire life. I cry, all the time. The wedding is on September 28th and everyday leading up to that date feels like complete agony. I thought my life was going down this path and now I have no idea where its going. Getting through the day and doing my job is hard, it takes all my energy to do the bare minimum at work. I wouldn’t wish the act of calling off a wedding on anyone. It is hard, really hard. For me emotionally hard. I had my parents cancel the vendors and tell everyone, because I couldn’t.
    I have never felt this way about someone in my life, and walking away from the wedding and our life together has been the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I am shy by nature and it takes a lot for me to open up to someone. The love we have for each other was not the problem, we love each other so immensely, everything else has just made it “too” hard. Between my family (my sister has always been terrible to him) to his family. It didn’t feel like us anymore. I started to feel lost and not like myself. Shouldn’t I feel like my best self before I get married? We were fighting a lot, mostly over issues with my sister. It was just too hard. I know we weren’t in a good place to get married, which was really hard because we were only 25 days out from wedding. I just feel so lost right now, and I don;t know what to do.
    I did want to say, thank you for writing this, because as lost as I am, your words have helped. I have now read your story three times.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Jane, thank you for being here and sharing your story. My heart goes out to you and I absolutely believe that it’s hard no matter what side you are on, the one being left or the one deciding it’s time to walk away. I am so sorry. Your comment reminded me of an old journal entry I wrote during that time, “I can’t stop crying,” and I am heartbroken for you. But I agree, sometimes it’s not the right time, and yes, you should feel like yourself. I understand that very much from my own experience – I couldn’t even write my vows because my heart and head were not in that space (and neither was my ex). So I say sweet girl, hang in there. Push forward every day. Choose to heal, and most of all, look for the days ahead when things will work out just as they should. I am praying for you. If you have an specific questions, please feel free to ask. I am praying for comfort and healing for your heart. Xx Diana

  • Daisy

    Diana, On September 15, 2019 – two months from purchasing our first home and one week from our wedding date of 9.19.2020 my fiancé told me that we needed an break and that he feels our relationship has staled out. In the wee hours of that dreaded day, I came across your blog and reading this has given me so much hope. This week has been one the hardest of my life and I turn to your words to find comfort. I have been focusing on God and reading the word but sometimes it is hard. I have no anger towards God but just asking why? Why this situation? We have been together for 11 years (2 engaged), we just purchased our first home and had set our wedding date. We have moved to three cities together and I have never left his side since college. I trust him and obviously love him. We have communication issues and he feels like we have been like roommates for the past few months which I agreed but I also feel these issues that we have are ones that we can change. Today, he finally told his family what has been going on. He said we are on a indefinite break, the wedding is called off and that we aren’t progressing to the next stage. The indefinite break part has really hurt. I spoke with him on the phone today and we continued to discuss our issues. We have both agreed to needing time. I’m not sure if time is what will solve us. I have so much guilt and thinking of the what if’s and the should haves. I feel so broken and alone. I cannot eat or sleep. I feel like I’ve been a burden to those around me. I try my hardest to have hope and faith that things will work out one way or the other. I am really trying to believe that God has a better plan for me. I just turned 30 and I have those worries if there is someone out there for me at this age as those around me are settling down. Please pray for me and for our relationship. God bless!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Daisy, thank you so much for being here and sharing your story with me I’m so sorry about what has happened. It’s so devastating to hear and the timing of everything and also after being with somebody so long and trusting that your time with them would have a return on your investment. I don’t think there any answers that whatever makes sense because no answer will ever take away disappointment. Don’t blame yourself, it doesn’t matter how much time is past and honestly, you deserve to be with somebody who can’t live a day without you. Here’s a quote that a friend gave to me when I went through my hard time and I think this just summarizes the truth that we must cling to and push forward every day. I hope that encourages you as much as I always reflect back on it when difficult things happen in my life. “There is nothing – no circumstance, no trouble, no testing – that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ through me. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is – that is rest of victory!” -Alan Redpath

  • JOshua

    Hi Diana,
    I just came across your blog and it did give me hope. Although I left my fiancé, reason being, she came to me about a month saying that she wasn’t ready to get married. I tried to stick with her through it and even asked if she wanted to postpone it. She told me that she would seek counseling with our priest who was supposed to do our wedding. After meeting with him, she said that she had gained clarity through their conversation. So she proceeded to tell me that we could go ahead with the planning. However, after a few days I began to feel uneasy about everything because I can still feel her uneasiness about it as well. So I finally sat her down one more time and asked her if she was ready for marriage. Sure enough her answer was no so I had to leave. I know that I’m the one that left, but in all honesty, it feels like she’s the one that did. Anyway, thank you for sharing your experiences with the world on your blog. It truly has helped me these last few days!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Joshua,

      Thank you for your comment and sharing your story. I completely understand how it feels like she is the one who left, you didn’t have a choice because if she wasn’t ready, she probably would have left in her own way. Either way, it is definitely a painful and heartbreaking experience. It’s good you kept communication open to talk about it and to try to make it work. I am really glad my post has brought you some comfort. I want to share a quote with you that was given to me by a friend when I went through my broken engagement and it gave me peace. I hope it gives you comfort and peace as you move forward. “There is nothing – no circumstance, no trouble, no testing – that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ through me. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is – that is rest of victory!” -Alan Redpath

  • Ash

    Hi Diana,

    Thanks for sharing your story. When I met my ex-fiance, he was the one eager to get engaged, have our families meet, and set a date for the wedding. He is 37 years old, and 6 years older than me. We were in a long distance relationship (US and Canada), but made the effort to see each other atleast every other weekend. Our wedding was supposed to be in November of this year. 2 weeks ago, after a few arguments, he called me and said he won’t be proceeding with the wedding. I was in complete shock and still am. I haven’t been able to get out of bed and go to work or do anything. 5 days after he made that call, he sent me an email saying he wants the ring back and some money he had given me for the vendors. 5 days later…How could someone be so cold hearted to do that 5 days after saying he doesn’t want to follow through with the wedding for silly arguments? I spent hours pleading and trying to make him understand that every couple goes through these issues that we were having. That it wasn’t the end of the world. But he was adamant in not proceeding with the wedding. We got legally married over the summer so that we could file the paperwork for my move there. I was leaving my entire life behind to move to where he was for his career. It breaks my heart that he could make such a big decision overnight. We have to get a divorce without even having been really married or lived together. I told him that things change when our circumstances change and to give it a chance, but he absolutely refused to. I feel like a zombie, unable to process any of this, and don’t know how I can ever find happiness again! Reading your blog resonates a lot of things. But I just don’t know how to have faith that things will get better…

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Ash, thank you for being here and sharing what you are going through. I am so sorry. Your aftermath sounds similar to mine, a complete nightmare. I was in the same predicament being asked for items back, the ring, threats, very harsh emails as if I had called it off and had done something wrong. There was no kindness in the end, and I’m sorry that has happened to you. It’s almost as if love can easily turn into hate and we’re left confused at the immediate change. All I can say, is when people show you who they really are, let them. There is absolutely no need for this behavior to turn so cold and whaT I did was truly look at that person and think, wow, anyone who could turn like that isn’t who I should marry anyway. Someone who can’t work through problems now, won’t be a good partner in marriage. A man who can turn so cold after being so hot for a wedding is someone who is unstable. If you can look at this as a blessing as much as it’s heartbreaking, I hope that it can give you the courage and strength to push forward. I’m sorry about the divorce, but it’s just a legal thing – thank God you didn’t move and leave your entire life. Look at him for who he really is, and know you deserve better, and you will find better. Sounds like you may have dodged a bullet sweet girl. I promise days ahead will be better than being in a relationship that is hot and cold. You have so much life ahead of you, just take it day by day. I’m here if you have any specific questions. xo

  • Claudette

    Hi Diana,
    Just came across your blog when I’m losing hope on everything. Thank you so much for this! Me and my ex-fiance was together for almost 11 years (3 yrs together, 9 yrs apart), we are in LDR (US and Canada), I basically the one who keeps visiting him once or twice a year because he can’t come here as he has DUI in states, and I’m also the one moving there and leave my career and whole family here in Canada. Our wedding was supposed to be Feb of next year in Asia, we already booked our flights, bought his suits, like basically everything, but 2 weeks after that, we stumbled a small argument of him working too much (20 hrs/day) while drinking every night after work, so I confronted him but on the next day he became cold and distant, he didn’t message me where he was, he answered my vid call after a million times of trying in unfamiliar bathroom and right after the call he just suddenly said he need time to think. I booked a flight right after so I could talk to him cuz I know something is off, but he said No, and just wait until Jan (our flight for the wedding), the next day I received a text message from him while at work saying that he can’t do it anymore. At that very moment my life fell apart, I couldn’t talk and just keep crying, I was crashed a million pieces, I tried to call him but he never answer me, then I called his mom to know what is actually happening to him, they don’t even know too as he is very secretive and haven’t gotten home since he told me he needs time. 3 weeks have past, no call, no text, no explanation, nothing, he just ghosted me. So I still keep my flight and asked his cousin to pick me up at the airport, and that’s the time he texted me saying he’s ready to talk. He called me and said that it was over, he said it as if I’m nothing with the follow up words that really crashed me, “I want you to meet this special someone who is helping me to go through this situation”. I put the call to vid call, all I see is him smoking and drinking while playing loud music, I just smiled at him and said “Okay” and that I’m still going there to meet him so we could talk properly, but said he’ll tag along the girl with him. I didn’t cry or beg, all I did is just smile and listen to him while telling me what happened to him for that past 3 weeks that he didn’t contact me, he even said that he didn’t even remember me on those times. I end up cancelling everything, my flight to states, (his parents requested it), our reservation for the reception, church and coordinator, because he doesn’t want to deal with that as what he said. 3 days after our official break up I learned that he was talking to this girl while he’s in Florida and our friends said he was very excited to go back to his state to see her. They even said that the reason he broke up with me is because I was too controlling in terms of his drinking habit. 3 weeks after that news, his parents called me saying that he already moved in to that girl’s house and that the girl is on the process of divorce, has 2 kids (11 and 8yrs old) a little bit older than him, and they are working together. I was devastated, can’t even find the right words to describe how life wrecking it to me, I lost 10 lbs (from 118 lbs), can’t even sleep or eat, I just need to get up because I need to go for work but if not, I stay in my bed all day, and cried to my mom every day. His cousins, parents and aunts messaged me how sorry they are, that they really want me to be part of their family and that how surprising it is for them or everyone even for myself that he can do it as he is really not that kind of guy (or so we thought). When he learned that they are talking to me, he get mad at me and blamed me for talking to them, that no one is on his side to understand him, he even want the ring back. I’m not mad at him, I even defend him to my family after what he did to me until now. Right now, I’m trying to make it through every single day, I don’t even know how to tell it to everyone that there’s no wedding happening next year (only few people know both sides of the family) which most of our family and friends are flying. I just don’t know what to do, waking up every morning feeling empty, affecting my work, my life. I’m trying to be more positive, looking on the brighter side of why this thing happened, that God has a better plan for me, but sometimes it really hit me hard. I just don’t know how to have a normal life anymore. But again, thank you for your story, it inspire me to never lose hope and that God is just right there working for our perfect timing.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Claudette, Thank you for being here and sharing your story. It sounds like a very hard ending with a lot to process. I just have to say that it shouldn’t be this hard. It shouldn’t be this much work to get to the alter. I pray you can continue to move forward and trust God has a better plan (and man) for you. xo

  • Kat Amsler

    Diana,
    Thank you for this article. My engagement was called off. I was supposed to get married tomorrow. I feel terrible. I know people are trying to make me feel better but they are just saying things like, ‘good riddance’ and ‘his lose’. I understand, but nobody is really understanding the gravity or the encompassing feelings I have.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Kat, Thank you for being here and I am so sorry about what you are going through. I hope this article helped you feel normal and that you know there are people here, including myself who understand the gravity of this. This is not just any breakup, and no one really understands how you feel, but that’s OK. What matters is that you can push forward as you process your feelings and if you find yourself not healing well, please seek counseling. xx

  • Bee

    Thank you so much for writing this. I think it’s quite evident how many people have felt understood and have found hope through your words. Me being one of them. I was supposed to get married yesterday. It was called off three days prior to the big day. Though I can’t say that I’m okay now, I know that I will be. Knowing that other people have gone through this before and found someone better, gives me the hope I need. There was a lot of your blog that resonated with me and made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Though I know I have a support system of family and friends- no one can quite understand the magnitude of what I’m going through except for someone whose already done it. Again, thank you for this- it’s helped me more than you know.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Bee, I am glad you found this post and I am so sorry about your wedding being called off just days before. Eventually your heart will catch up to your brain and feelings and facts will be sorted out which will help as you push forward. In time. Please make sure you eat and know that one day you will be thankful it happened. I know your heart is broken but that too, will be fixed over time. Thank God. Better days await, sensing you the biggest hug. If you have any specific questions please reach out and ask. I am lifting you up in prayer. xo

  • Caro

    Thank you so much for this. My ex-fiancé called off our engagement a couple weeks ago and while I feel so grateful he did it before the wedding I am still trying to process the sadness, anger and loss that I am feeling. God has given me small moments of sunshine in the midst of that and reading your story has given me even more hope that healing will come. It was such a blessing to read truth and encouragement from someone who has been where I am—it brought me to tears. Thank you so much for sharing with us.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Caro, I am so sorry to hear your story. In the midst of sorting out all the thoughts and feelings, I pray that God draws you closer to Him. He has a plan for you, and while sometimes we are broken in our journey, He restores us and brings us to where we need to be, in His timing. Praying for you. xx

  • Jessica

    Just wanted to say thank you for sharing this chapter of your life and for being brave enough to share. Being transparent and vulnerable takes courage but also a lot of bravery and I appreciate you for helping to lift others by opening up about your own experience. Sending lots of love to all those with a broken or mended heart ❤️

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Thank you so much Jessica for taking the time to read my story. I appreciate the encouragement so much, it lifts my heart and spurs me on to continue sharing parts of us and the things that happen to us more. I am so glad you are here. xo

  • Marcella

    Hi Diana,

    I’m here to say a big thank you for being so brave to share your story. Thank you!

    I found your post after 2 weeks my ex partner and I broke our engagement up and called off the wedding that was supposed to happen today (2nd of November, 2019). I’m writing to you after 3 months of the break up.

    Even though I knew that the break up was the best to do to avoid future bigger pain and Hurt, it hurt me to cancel everything and the idea of almost having my dream come true: getting married and start building my own family. Anyway, wasn’t supposed to be with him.

    I felt exactly like you did because while I was supposed to be at the ceremony at 4 pm, I was working. While I was supposed to be getting ready in the morning, I was driving to somewhere. I really felt broken. What matters is it is over and I feel a lot lighter now. Tomorrow is a new day that will bring a new beginning. Yay!

    You might not know but you supported me in the last 3 months. I’ve read your post so many times because I couldn’t believe it happened to me and I was speechless to know that there are so many people out there that went through the same heartbreaking story.

    Once again, thank you so much. I hope that my story ends up just as beautiful as yours did!

    Sending you love ❤️

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Marcella, sending you a big hug! Thank you for sharing your story and I am cheering you on as you keep pushing forward. New beginnings are exciting, and I pray that soon, you’ll catch your heart feeling lighter, and a smile cross your face for no reason other than realizing you have excitement and joy for the days ahead. I am honored to have been there for the past three months supporting you through this blog post. Thank you for including me in your healing process, it really is a true honor and thank you so so much for telling me. Continue pushing forward with wonder, curiosities and hope! xo

  • Karley

    Thank you for this post. I really needed this right now.
    I was engaged for 2 months (right out of college)–after a 4 year relationship that also had some pain and drama–and my ex ended it. I didn’t see it coming in the slightest. He was the one who kept on talking about our future as husband and wife, his excitement to be fully committed to me… and it shocked me to the core.
    I’ve been carrying a lot of anger and resentment toward this individual for blind-siding me, for not wanting to talk things out and for moving on so quickly… but I know it in my heart that you’re right–you can’t force someone down the aisle. They’re not the one for me; I SHOULD be with someone who actually wants to be with me. Letting go from this has been one of the hardest things that I’ve had to go through, and I’m still struggling with it.
    I pray to God to grant me peace and a sense of resolve from this situation, the will to work on myself and other relationships and the patience until I find the one that I was truly meant to be with.
    Once again, thank you for sharing your story. It gives me hope for the future.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Oh Karley, thank you for your message and sharing your story. You have every right to be angry at the situation. Have you heard of the 5 stages of grief and loss? You will find yourself going through them. I find that arriving to the anger stage is relieving in some way, because sadness just lingers. You deserve better, and you will find better. You are entering a beautiful, fun, adventurous part of your life that will be filled with growth. You may find that you would have outgrown him in a few years and in return, be thankful that it happened, despite his lack of communication on his part. Focus on carrying yourself with grace and class as you move into the future, it is so bright. xo

  • Jeanie

    You have been such a blessing. I have read this post and already watched the YouTube video 2x. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you to share your pain, but thank you for doing it anyway.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Thank you for your sweet message and I’m sending you a big hug sweetheart. Here if you need any encouragement, you will get thru this!

  • Sarah

    Hi Diana, I’ve now read through your post twice since I found it yesterday along with listening to your video. Searching through Google for something to help me through this difficult time. God has truly guided me to your blog! God works in mysterious ways that we will never know why but is always in our best interests! Nov. 16th (5 days ago) I was supposed to get married to the love of my life of 4 years, or so I thought. The wedding was called off 30 days before. He came home one day standing in our kitchen saying he has major second thoughts and the “16th” was his judgement day. We both cried I had no idea he would ever say something like this. Then, the next night he confesses he had been dishonest in our relationship prior to proposing (1 1/2 yr engagement) and he had to tell me before getting married. I’m thankful he said this prior to the other side of being married. This came as a huge surprise as I never ever had any doubt in him. After crying continously day in and day out to my bff & family, I came to the realization I could never truly trust him again & would have to with a heavy heart make the final decision that we should no longer get married or remain together. Now, after a month we have talked through text and have met f2f once. I thought this would be closure but it wasn’t. He says he will change to be a better man for me. Pleading for my forgiveness (which I am not mad but heartbroken and disappointed). I told him I forgive him for what he did in the past but I cannot forget. He wants to try to make this work. But the 2nd day before he broke the heavy news, I prayed to God to give me a sign to guide me in his direction of which way to go. I truly believe given that news after praying for a sign is My sign, along with other red flags I’ve brushed off. What I’m really saying is, it’s hard to move on when the other person who broke your heart to pieces is saying they’d do anything to get you back. Even when I know he may & should do to better himself, that things will never be the same. I’ve told him this but he does not want to accept which is making it much worse for me or move on. Again, thank you for writing about your experience, it has given me a sense of hope!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Sarah, thank you for sharing your story with me and I am so glad you came across my post and video. I completely understand your position and I pray that God gives you peace as you continue to move forward. I am confident that the lord has a great man for you that he will reveal at the right time. I am praying for your heart!!

  • Lucy m

    I don’t usually leave comments but your story has truly touched me. I just recently ended an engagement with a man that truly loved me but yet he still had doubts if this was God’s will for him to marry me. In the end, we decided to end because we saw that he needs more time to have his personal dialogue with the Lord. Even though we broke up on good terms, I still feel this sadness and sometimes this doubt creeps up in me that maybe I just wasn’t good enough. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have any doubts. Your story and words have really encouraged me especially because I see that you see things from a Christian perspective. I thank you for posting your story.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Lucy, thank you for your comment, I appreciate it and it encourages me. Thank you for sharing your story and I cannot imagine that was easy, and I understand why and think you are wise and admire your strength. I understand the thoughts of not being good enough, but as time has passed, I look back and I am thankful that the doubt happened with my ex – that the Lord put that reservation on his heart so I could be let go, and find someone who truly was meant for me in every way – a better fit in every way possible. It can be heartbreaking for both parties but in the end we know God sees all, he can move mountains if it’s meant to be, and that he sees the entire picture. I am praying for your heart, and that you find peace as you move forward.

      “There is nothing – no circumstance, no trouble, no testing – that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ through me. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is – that is rest of victory!” -Alan Redpath

  • Marcy

    My BF of 8 yrs broke up with me 4 months before our wedding and then he asked to come back a week after. I was so elated that he came back and admitted that he made a mistake. I accepted him, faults and all (he was guilt of having an affair with his co-worker and it lasted a year or so) and we continued on. We decided to move the date 5 months after the 1st schedule and I thought we’re done since we were able to move all of our major suppliers to the new date. Then slowly, one by one, his promises of moving in together before the year ends, our plans on renovating the condo, career shifts, etc. All were being retracted and he told me that he is not ready to get married yet after what happened to us. That he doesn’t know what he wants, what he knows is that he is not ready and it’s unfair on my end if I’m going to wait again. I had nothing to hold on to, I was so insecure but he was making an effort to be with me and can only promise a day to day life with him. I was hurt, I feel numb but I love him so much. I tried but eventually I blew up and asked for space to rethink what I really want. What we really want. A day after that, I wanted to make it clear that we just need the space to heal properly so that we can move forward together. He wanted an out. That it’s bye for now. I feel like I’ve been in 2 broken engagements from the same man. I am so lost. Please pray for me. Thank you.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Marcy, oh my, my heart just shattered for you and yes, I can imagine it feels like you have been in two broken engagements. The feeling of disappointment and infidelity is so so heartbreaking I am sending you a big hug and will be praying for you. From an outsider’s view of what you told me sis, I will tell you that this is a good thing – marriage doesn’t fix things. If it’s broken before you go down the aisle, saying “I do” won’t suddenly create a commitment if there wasn’t a strong one before then. Be grateful this happened on this side of marriage. I know you are hurting right now and you probably cannot see that bright side yet, but one day you will. I pray that you know you are a child of God and precious in his eyes and you deserve a man who will put you first, be faithful to you, and CHOOSES you just as much as you choose him. I pray that God draws you closer to him during this time and you surrounded by friends, church family and that you find peace as you heal. I’m here if you have any specific questions, please do check in with me and tell me how you are doing. xx

  • Andrea Clow

    Wow I’m so glad I read this. 2 days ago, my fiancé broke off our engagement. We were supposed to get married in 3 months. It hurts so bad. I’m confused, mad, humiliated, depressed. I honestly don’t even know where to go from here. My whole world and everything I thought I knew has come crashing down and is being ripped away. It physically hurts. I have been looking for a post like this to help me through, and I couldn’t believe how relatable it was and how much better it made me feel. I had tears in my eyes at the end. I hope to one day be as lucky as you after a failed engagement. Thank you so, so much for sharing this story.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Andrea, I realized I missed this comment to respond, my apologies. I hope you are doing better. If you find you need a support group, please join our private FB group. Sending you a big hug. xx

  • Mary R.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this post. I am going through this and it is reassuring to read everything I have been repeating to myself. This article has given me hope and will get me through another day. I am 2 months in and slowly see and feel some healing. My days are like a roller coaster, some good and some low but I am becoming a stronger and compassionate person from this experience.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Mary, I hope you are continuing to heal and I am glad you are saying positive things to yourself! It sounds like your breakup happened around the same time as mine. Hang in there, push forward and know that you will absolutely get through this. xo

  • MANO

    Hiii Diana,

    I think its been a year and half since the engagement broke off and since I posted my story, maybe a month after it happened, so much time has passed and the feeling of pain and loss has been taken over with lots of love from family, and many accomplishments. Haven’t gotten into dental school yet, but maybe this year will be the year. I truly want to thank you for the post you wrote to me, I have it saved, screenshotted, when I feel down I refer back to it to remind myself I have overcome so much pain and I am smiling again. I do still wonder (being 24) if ill ever find the one, I sometimes see others social media posts and how it appears that life is falling into place for them and for some reason I am not there yet, I do question it sometime, but I know there MUST be a better plan out there, I just know it. I do not think god would put me thru everything in the last year for nothing and I just have good feeling. Truly thank you for what you do on this blog, it has impacted me in many ways and made me see the light when all I could see was darkness at one moment in life. :)

    Stay happy and blessed

    Love Mano

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Mano, thank you for your update. You are so young, 24 not 94 and you have sooooo much time. One of my closest friends got married at 37 and she’s gorgeous, had her pick and waited to find the one, and he’s a great one! First marriage for both (if that matters) and she was the most beautiful bride but most importantly, she found the perfect guy for her and I mean he’s amazing for her. That is worth waiting for, and marriage isn’t a race. As the saying goes, Dance with God and he will let the perfect man cut in. Stay positive and I am glad you are being surrounded by love from friends and family. A great future awaits!! xx

  • Krista

    Hi Diana,

    My ex fiancé broke off our engagement 4 months ago a week before my birthday (I’m 28 and he’s 29). We were together for 3.5 years and got engaged a year and 3 months after we met. We were supposed to married in November 2020. When he broke it off with me he ended it by phone. I was in such shock and it hasn’t been an easy 4 months going through complete devastation and heartbreak I never felt heartbreak like this in my life, it has devastated me so. The troubles of our engagement began when I went to look at a wedding venue with my mom because my ex fiancé couldn’t come down that day which i thought whats the harm in that? Well later that day, when my mom was finalizing the plans for an engagement party for us, his mom freaked out and said her and his family were not going to come because of that. So I had to cancel the engagement party after all due to the drama caused by his side of the family, I was trying to please him to keep the peace. My ex fiancé didn’t stand up for me for how his mother reacted so badly and never stood up for me when his mother got nasty with me. Last December, my ex got a job offer 3 states away without confiding into me to see whether he should take the job or not. Indeed I tried to apply for jobs at his new place so I could be closer to him but I had no luck. It caused a big strain in our relationship. I can’t say I didn’t try but I guess he thought it wasn’t enough. Thank you for sharing your story, it gives me hope and inspiration to heal.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Krista, Thank you for being here and sharing your story. I am so sorry about all of this, what happened and also where you are today. But, you deserve someone who is 100% in, will defend you, and stand by you. You deserve someone who is easy going, will make plans with you, and I am sorry it didn’t work out, but in the end, you will be thankful it happened before the wedding than after. I know it’s early, but I pray you continue to heal, be positive and know that everything you did and who you are is enough, it’s more than enough and what someone is looking for. xo

  • Adrian

    The article was wonderful. When she called it off , I was confused. My dreams of having a family were shattered.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Adrian, I hope you are feeling better and doing well. If you need more support, we have a private FB group community, I’ve included a link in the blog post.

  • BEtty

    Hello Diana,
    WOW! God has definitely used you in such a beautiful way to share your stories. It says to share your pain to help those and you’ve done that! I’m 26 years old and had my engagement ended on Christmas Eve 12/24/2019. I felt my world came crushing down- I was at the movies w/ my 6 year old watching Star Wars.I ran to the bathroom alone (my son was sitting next to my cousin) and laid on the floor face flat crying out to God. I was devastated. This was someone I had gotten baptized with at church, someone who I was a couple
    Months from marrying. It’s been 5 weeks, and thanks to the grace of God, my baby, my family, my friends, my church and post like this amazing one.. I’m staying alive. I felt like I was the only one. I think I get so impatient thinking about how I’m 26? Still in college, working full time and being a single mom. I feel as I’m far behind everyone and I don’t have any hobbies that could make me money nor the time. I’ve always wanted to Blog about single young moms-but I’ve deleted ALL social media, including Venmo and Spotify to heal. Any tips? God bless you!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Betty,
      Thank you for your sweet note of encouragement. I am so sorry about what you are going through and right through the holidays, I know that devastation. I’m glad that you feel better after 5 weeks, moving forward is a huge accomplishment even though I know it’s hard! But you are doing it babe! Keep going!
      26 is young, and you are juggling a lot which is amazing!! You can do it! I am in awe of your ability to do it and I am sure it can feel like a lot right now, and I would suggest strongly focusing on what needs to be done now – work, college, mom, and not all in that order of course! Hobbies come when you have time and then hobbies turn into jobs. If you have time, start a blog but do it without expectation of making money do it because it feels good for your soul because blogging itself doesn’t get readers, it’s circulation, social media (it’s a full-time job) so you have to do it for the right reasons. I recently posted last week about being a blogger if you want to search for it (published January 2020).
      Meanwhile, keep doing what you are doing, moving forward, be in fellowship with God and know he has greater plans for you – one day you will be happy this all happened, but I know it’s fresh. Feel free to join our Facebook community (link in the blog post). xo

  • Mia

    I appreciate yoir vulnerability. I do want to point out that people need to stop assuming that if someone ends a relationship that it means they didn’t really love the other person. It is very possible to love someone but not be the right person for them and there should not be a stay at all costs type of mentality. It shouldn’t be a black or white situation where he would stay if he loved you and he would only leave if he didn’t love you. That might make it easier for people but it’s very possible for two people to love each other and be very wrong for each other too.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Nia, thanks for being here! I can see your point, there can absolutely be a gray area for certain circumstances.

  • Riz

    Hello,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am one week into this ugly situation and the wedding was supposed to be in 6 weeks. Iam devastated with a deep feeling of being used, lied to and betrayed . My brain knows it’s for the best but my hearts is sooo aching.
    Iam 37 and I don’t know when I’ll feel better and when I will be able to settle and have a family !

    I just need to keep faith .
    Thank you again

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Riz, Thank you for being here and I’m sorry about your situation, 1 week is so fresh. I know the pain and your heart will catch up to your brain in time, but it’s difficult. We have a Facebook private group if you’d like to join some others to share your story, ask questions or just know you have a support system. The link is – https://www.facebook.com/groups/dianaelizabethgroup/

  • Michelle Jereb

    Hi there,

    I really connected with this story and am three weeks into this situation. My wedding was two months away and we were engaged for a year before this and together 6 years before that. We met when I was 21 and now I’m about to be 28. I was extremely blindsided by the whole situation and had just brought us a house that we moved into. Unfortunately, he and his family have not offered to pay for anything regarding the wedding. I’ve sent them an email and his parent have decided to stay out of it but he does not have the money to pay back my family. I’m at a loss at what to do. How did you move forward and handle the finances fairly?

    Thanks,
    Michelle

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Michelle, thanks for being here and I am sorry about the entire situation. To answer your question, I will share my story but don’t take this as any legal advice. Your decision and circumstance may be different from mine. My ex said he would pay back my family but as you can guess, he did not. I had held onto the ring as collateral however that escalated into an issue. I still decided to sell the ring to get some money back and left it as that. Yes it is an expensive loss, but not nearly as expensive as a divorce would be or the price of marrying the wrong person, someone who doesn’t deserve you. So I know the financial loss is terrible but it sounds like you will still come out ahead in life. ❤️

  • Courtney Kowalski

    I went through a broken engagement about 6 months ago. I found your story online when it first happened, and I’ve been feeling rather sad about it still lately. In a desperate attempt to find someone who understood, I found your story yet again. Your story has helped bring me peace and hope. It helped me when my wounds were fresh, and it helped me now, as I’m trying my best to still heal from them after they’ve been ripped open a time or two. I’m so thankful you chose to share your story, because there have been many days where I thought I was going to die from a broken heart. I still feel that way sometimes, and even with therapy, it’s hard to always have hope for the future. Hearing your story gives me hope that people can survive this, and can come out stronger on the other side. I think I’m still somewhere in the middle, but I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to you.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Oh my sweet Courtney. ❤️ Thank you for leaving this comment so I can know your story. I am so sorry you are still hurting but that is normal. I didn’t know how I could move forward, it felt impossible. I had never felt that pain before and I know it hurts. But, feel it, mourn it, then let it go. It will eventually get better. The mind will slowly forget making it less painful as time goes on, the heart will heal and find joy and hope. One day you will catch yourself smiling ear to ear for no reason because of the abundant amount of joy and curiosity for the future. I can’t wait for you to come back and share your happy ending whenever that is. Meanwhile if you need a support group, please consider joining the community – https://m.facebook.com/groups/dianaelizabethgroup

  • Derek

    My fiancee called off our engagement 2 months before our wedding. I had just given up my house to move into hers, now everything is in storage so I drove halfway across the country to be with family and heal and regroup. She has been cold, distant, emotionless and very selfish throughout this process. I am a very sensitive man and I love hard, so this is very devastating. I came upon your blog and just wanted to say thank you for the inspiration and everything you have done to help others. I really don’t know what my next step will be, and I am trying to be ok with that, and every bone in my body is trying not to text her, so your words of encouragement are soothing. Just want someone who will love me as much as I love them. Have had so many heartbreaks that at times I think it must be me that causes it, but as I look back at the women who have broken my heart, I can tell that they just couldn’t handle being loved the way I loved them. Any advice on what I should be doing right now as this just happened last month. Thank you!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Derek, thanks for being here and I am sorry about your heartbreak. I hope you feel a little bit of progress every day. I would take as much time as you need to heal and be easy on yourself, this stuff hurts! It is a big deal. If there are any financial matters that need to be spoken about, do it early and quick. Cut all ties, don’t communicate and do some things you couldn’t do, travel, a new hobby, work out, work on yourself and creating a new you because this is a time of growth for you! Also if you have any questions or need support, join the Facebook community, link in the post. Stay positive and keep putting your heart out there!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Derek – here is the fb group -https://www.facebook.com/groups/dianaelizabethgroup/?ref=share

  • rachael

    Hi Diana,
    Thank you so much for sharing this, it’s been helpful. My ex fiancee is from The Philippines and I have been living with him there for the past 3.5 years on a small island and started a small teaching business there a few. months ago. I am a month into my breakup and am hurting beyond imagination, we were best friends and should have been having a huge Asian wedding in September. My life revolved around him, his dog and his bed and breakfast. Since the breakup I have had not one person for a support system out there so after one month of reaching out to him, I have heartbreakingly moved back to the U.K to start healing.

    It has been the worst and most loneliest time of my life as he has been unusually cold and direct, I feel like the world I worked so hard to create in the country I loved has been pulled from underneath me. So naturally I have been reaching out to him and trying to prevent this from happening to the point where he has blocked me and has said he will never speak to me again after I took the ring :(. He never saw me before I left and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do to get on the plane alone and leave my beautiful life and come back my parents home at 29 years old. I am so mad at myself for constantly reaching out to him, but I was on my own packing up my business, our home and saying farewell to our dog, all in a few weeks. I didn’t know what else to do it was so overwhelming. I have no idea what to do with my life right now it feels upside down. It’s all very shocking and confusing.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi rachael, thank you for sharing your story and I am so sorry. My heart just broke reading what you went through and I completely empathize with you. You were so strong still pick up your life and move home. Please give yourself so much credit for that for continuing to move forward and I pray that every day you find strength. Please consider joining our Facebook group at the community if you just want to share your story, ask for advice, or just sit back and read some encouragement.

      https://www.facebook.com/groups/dianaelizabethgroup/?ref=share

  • Laurel

    Hi Diana. 10 weeks ago I moved to Memphis to be with my boyfriend. 4 weeks ago my boyfriend proposed. 2 weeks ago he broke up with me. I had already found a dress, booked a photographer, and a venue.

    This has been one of the hardest times in my life. I felt so much of what you wrote about. I cried as I read it because I felt so comforted knowing someone else has felt exactly how I am right now. Your post also gave me a lot of hope for my future and that I will be able to find a man that is PERFECT for me. God loves us too much to let us settle for something less than his perfect will. Thank you for sharing your story. You have no idea how much it means to me.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Laurel, that is a lot of change in such a short amount of time. I am so sorry. I’m glad my words of experience could bring you some comfort. We have a support community on FB if you’d like to join for any feedback, or just to know people are going through a similar thing. https://m.facebook.com/groups/dianaelizabethgroup/?source_id=329130761178

      God works for His good and He sees all. This may have been a protection, you will eventually find out. I am glad to hear you have faith and know God’s character and the perfect will he has for your life, daughter of the King.

  • Caren

    Hi Diana,

    Thank you for sharing your story and being an inspiration. I stumble upon your blog as I tried to search self help guide to heal. I have been single most of my life, I will be turning 38 this year and my ex-fiancé is 8 years younger than me, we’re together for 1 yr and 10 month, just last month 4 months before the wedding he called it off. What hurt me most is that we did not talk things out, I did not know he has issues. Just of a sudden he gave me the silent treatment, I tried to reach out by texting and calling him but no response from him. Then one weekend at his place we were chilling, cuddling & happy as if everything is okay but I know deep inside there is something wrong so I took a deep breath and asked what’s our next steps for the wedding, and there, he dropped the bomb. His reasons: his parents made him realized he is not yet financially ready to start a family and his family also said they don’t know me that well still. His family lives in the countryside while we both work in the City so we don’t get to visit them often. The following weeks I tried to fix us, hope he’d listen to my explanation that we are supposed to be partners making things work out & change his mind to push through with the wedding. But I guess he already moved on. My last request to him is to man up and he himself inform my family about his decision, but refused to do so. He broke me and abandoned me all together. I was crashed. Anxiety consumed my body, I don’t know what to do. I was finally able to tell my immediate family, I just blurt it out and after that I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I feel ashamed that I disappointed my family & embarrassed them as well. I’m thankful for my few trusted friends who are rallying behind me. At work, no one knows my situation and I feel doubly exhausted as I have to pretend I’m okay and all is well between me & my ex. Now, I’m trying to keep things to myself, I feel that I’ll fall into depression and deep trauma dealing all this on my own. I haven’t taken a break yet from work to give myself time to grieve, I’m physically and emotionally tired.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Caren, sorry to hear about this, I am glad you found this post and I hope it brings you some hope. I wasn’t one to pretend things were ok or are ok when they are not, I do better when I have my community and friends who can come along side me, so don’t feel bad to let people
      Know you are going through a tough time, how else can people be there for you? They probably want to! And don’t worry anoint any embarrassment to your family, it’s not your fault and I am sure they care more about your heart than what people think. A broken engagement isn’t humiliating. It’s heartbreaking but it is not a reflection on you. Xo

  • isla

    Hi Diana Elizabeth,
    Thank you for being honest about your heartbreak. In my story I was the one who broke of the engagement, because of infidelity (on his part). But I do sympathise with the feeling of throwing a future dream, all the invested emotions, finances, sweet conversations of ‘I love you’, all have led to me to feeling deeply bitter and resentful. I am also a christian, so I know that God is sovereign over all situations in our lives and He really does care about every detail about us. But sometimes I just tear up, when I think of my ex, and also feel deep loss from broken ties with his family (I really loved them). Sometimes, what helps reduce the bitterness is realising that God loves my ex as well, and has a certain specific life-journey set out for him, which doesn’t involve me – and its okay because I have my own. This brings me a sense of peace in knowing that God is behind the scenes and arranging all things, and to fulfill His will I need to cooperate with God’s arrangements. Hurtful though they may be, this situation was shown that I should trust God’s wisdom more than my own. The Lord has His timing, and it was according to His timing, that I experienced this heartbreak in this time, and even God has withheld communications from my ex at this point. God has the right to arrange things in our lives in certain ways, but all so that in His unlimitedness, He can go deeper into our heart to expand it.
    Thanks again for sharing your story and ministering to me.
    Much grace.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Isla,
      Wow your comment was encouraging to my heart! Praise God you have faith in Him and the plans He has for you. I know you faith will bring you through this, allow you to forgive, and move forward with a joyful heart (in time). I am sorry that this happened to you but God knows best, and as someone who has come out on the other side, I am thankful God intervened in the way He did, and I am living the life, the good life I am meant to live. I know one day you will know exactly why this happened. Thank you for being here and I pray that God continues to draw you closer to him during this time. I am cheering for you sister! xx

  • Ruth

    Thank you SO much for sharing your story.
    Truly.
    God is bringing healing to my broken heart even now through not only knowing I’m not alone but that there IS a testimony on the other side of this.
    I am a widow, have 4 teenagers. One in college, one about to be. Have been single for 7 and only recently trusted my heart with someone, loved him from the beginning.
    If did not work out and I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest.
    I thought, ‘Haven’t I grieved enough? Haven’t I experienced enough heartache?’ I’ve struggled so hard with this.
    I’m proud of myself. I loved well. I was true to myself.
    Looking forward to what the Lord will do with all of this. He wastes nothing.
    And one day I’ll say, “I can’t believe my life right now!” I remember that feeling….a few years after my husband died. Not believing me and the kids could be so blessed. I LOVE my job, my family, our life…my kids are thriving. What is there to complain about? I’ve done hard things before.
    Your story gave me courage and HOPE.
    Thank you.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Oh my sweet Ruth, I am so sorry about the passing of your husband and to give your heart again to have it not work out. I am sorry! Thank you for your sweet note to let me know ow this post has impacted you. Your beautiful faith my friend will carry you through, and most of all, you know pain won’t kill you and the Lord has you in the palm of His hand. You come out as a testimony for God, to show how He is rightfully to be praised under all circumstances because He is good all the time. He doesn’t waste pain – and look at where I am connect with you and many others over this. Please join our Facebook group (link in blog post) if you need support. I know the Lord has great plans for you, xo

  • Kevin Auth

    Hello my name is Kevin and my fiancee just left me on March 16th. We were supposed to get married this October. She told that she never loved me and that if we got married she would have divorce me anyway. We were together for 4 years and she was my everything and I had no idea this was coming. Your story really helped me and I cannot wait to feel better. Do have anymore suggestions on how to cope with this?

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Kevin, I am sorry for your pain. Wow those are strong words but if you can please look at it as a blessing that this happened on this side of marriage than after, a divorce would have been messy and painful. Please consider joining our Facebook community (link in blog post) if you need support. I would suggest counseling and some of the steps I mentioned in the blog post. If you ever need some encouragement, the private FB community is there, as well as reading this blog post again. Praying for healing and strength as you move forward.

  • Kim

    Diana,
    Thank you so much for this post. It has been a gift from God to remind me that he makes beauty from ashes. I don’t see the beauty at this point but I have been encouraged to have faith in Him that I will. My ex fiancée broke it off with me about 3 weeks ago, 3.5 months before out wedding. Lies and deception have surfaced, at first he was telling me that he wanted to postpone the wedding, then that changed into God told him that he’s now supposed to be single, “it’s not you, it’s me”…. he also said he had been having cold feet a month prior to this conversation but said nothing, during that month he encouraged me to go buy my wedding dress, to go have fun with my girlfriends and pick out bridesmaids dresses which I purchased, I just feel so led on why didn’t he come to me I would have moved heaven and earth talk about things and make wise decisions about how to handle it, but instead he ran away. Just like that. The troubling part is that during this process of him breaking it off with me, he was still telling my family and people at church that he loved me and that we were going to work things out and we were still getting married, then a week later, told me he was done and drove away. I am so heartbroken, and incredibly sad. I am trying to cling to God, my family and friends to get through everyday. It is so painful to let go, but I must, so I can receive the treasure of a man that God has for me on the other side of this. God will make beauty from these ashes. I look forward to the day when I can write and tell you you were right and how God has redeemed this painful experience and how incredible it is. Thank you for your ministry and your faith, it is such an encouragement to me❤️ I do have one question. I am struggling with a decision I must make, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the wedding dress I picked, I had it customized, with a customized veil, it’s gorgeous. I love how it makes me feel however I am afraid because I am the type of person that when I have a tangible item it takes on specific meaning and a lot of times that includes attachment to people. I went into the dress selection process looking for what I wanted to wear for myself and how it made me feel but was so excited for the thought of wearing it for my future husband, now my ex. Because he was the one to cancel the wedding, he told my parents he would pay off the credit card of wedding expenses because he was not forthcoming about his intentions, so I will not have to be the one covering the cost of it. I am so sad though because, I made the dress unique to me and I just am conflicted about it. I hate that I feel this conflict. ☹️I am trying to pray and ask God for help to make a decision about keeping it or doing something else with it. What would you do?

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Kim, your sweet comment was an encouragement to me to know that you know the Lord and know his goodness. Your faith will help you heal, forgive, and live daily knowing that God has a great plan in store for you. My ex had said he would pay the loss (but it unfortunately did not end up that way), I do hope that yours does, but back to the wedding dress. I predict that you will want a new dress when you do find the man of your dreams. Your dream dress now might be your dream dress for now. I had the wedding ring I had dreamt of since I was a teenager, but I sold it. When it was time for me to get a new ring with my now husband, I was at first furious that I couldn’t have the ring I had before – I sure could have, nothing was stopping me and my husband didn’t care. But, I didn’t want to be reminded of my ex. I wanted something different that would define who I was years later. And I have a wedding band that I LOVE more than any other thing I’ve ever seen or tried on. It defined me at that moment and continues to make me happy every time I look at it. All this to say, you may change your mind. You may want something different. But, if getting rid of it now brings you pain because you spent time getting it customized and you love it, why not give it to a friend or family member to keep in a closet, tucked away. Time will pass and you may find when you’re ready to go wedding dress shopping you won’t want it at all and you can donate it. That’s what I hope for you, anyway. Keep things that you like, but get rid of anything that brings you pain or hinders you from moving forward because right now, the time is yours and it’s about your healing and future. xx

  • Kerrie

    I didn’t know it was possible to hurt this much but reading your post and watching your video helped me to see that I’m not alone. Engagement was called off last July and he came back immediately after. For the last eight months, he has pulled me in and pushed me away. Last night was the official end and it’s hard to put in words what I feel. Everything I’ve ever wanted someone to say to me, he said to me. My heart is absolutely shattered because he felt like my persons he always called me his missing puzzle piece. And yet, he called off our engagement with no warning and continued to look for reasons to leave time and time again. My sense of security in my life is broken. It’s hard to have hope when you loved someone so completely, to have them say those words, to ask you to spend your life with them, and to have them have no intention of following through. This hurt is as raw as it gets. Friends and family have told me for months that I deserve better. He told me last night that I deserve better. This brokenness is something that it feels like I will carry with me forever

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Kerrie,
      Oh I am sending you a big hug right now. I am so sorry and I am glad that the video was an encouragement to you. I can’t imagine how it feels to have this happen almost twice, the emotions, but I hope you have found peace without him as the time has gone forward knowing that the drama is gone. I know it will be hard to heal but it will happen over time and I pray that you realize how you absolutely deserve better and a happy marriage is not one that gets hot and cold and the right person shouldn’t take so much convincing. As someone who has gone through this and moved on, you will not be broken forever and I hope you find peace in that and feel it as every day passes. Please join the FB group if you haven’t already if you need more support. xx

  • mj

    Dear Diana,
    Thank you for sharing your story, especially as a Christian. It’s been a great encouragement and inspiration, and many of your points towards healing and forgiveness I’m working on so I feel like I’m on that right track!
    Like you I had private Christian counselling, it was worth every penny.

    2.5 months ago my dreams were shattered when my fiancée called off our engagement 7 months before the wedding. He did it by text with no excuse, he wouldn’t see me, speak to me, and then blocked me from everything. We’d been together 4 years, with 10 years of history.
    He put the blame on me and even had the audacity to say he was willing to say it was mutual to protect me and the church, of which I’m a key leader at. He created some big issues for me with work (the church) to which threatened my job because of his reckless actions which I can’t share.
    Naively, I had paid every penny for the wedding, including contributing to my own engagement ring which I gave him back… he’s not given me or offered to give, any of the £12K+ I spent, and my wedding dress is still sitting on my wardrobe! It’s been the most horrendous experience; I know he holds no remorse and spreads negativity about me through our small town… he even sent me a threatening email saying he would ‘expose me’ – ( expose what I’m not even sure), and Cruelty said that the last years had all been fake.

    But why I share is not for a pity party, but in the hope others will read; one – no matter the experience and the devastation, act in integrity. I’ve held my head high above every accusation and kept ‘showing up’, even on the days I wanted the world to end. And through it, I’m coming out the other side stronger, in a better position and I’m trusting Gods plan through it all. Two – even when you can’t see it, God is working and He will turn it for your good.! Its still fresh and raw but I know that God has totally saved me from something that could of been disastrous. My partner no longer attends church, is awaiting potentially serious outcomes of his reckless behaviour, and I’m aware his sexuality is even under question (this isn’t a new thing).
    Three- my faith has been the underpinning factor of getting me through. Only by focussing in on God have I got through this. I believe we all have greater strength within us than we realise, and a great strength in the relationships around us. But the greatest strength can be found in God! He’s no magic wand, it still hurts to feel you’ve been given up on… but God never gives up on you!

    Diana- thank you for sharing, and all those who’ve commented. I am so thankful to not be alone!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi MJ, your comment had me thinking, Yes yes yes!! I felt so much of what you said and identified with it in my own way. It doesn’t matter what he says or does, but rather what you know how you have handled yourself. In the end, all that matters is what God thinks and I believe that he exposed all of this for your good – you deserve better. Stay strong, trust God and know that he has a better man for you. God is good all the time!

  • Lauren Tepfer

    Thank you so much for this. My fiancé called off our engagement 3 days ago but he hasn’t said he doesn’t want to be with me he just needs time to sort through this emotions (with the help of therapy). I’m confused and hurt and I don’t know if I should be hopeful or if I need to start moving on right now. This article has definitely helped me be hopeful for the future.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Lauren, I am so sorry. Being in limbo is so hard and can make you feel crazy. I pray that you use this time wisely as well to make the decision if this is something you want to pursue. Please evaluate any potential red flags. I’m sending you a big hug. We’re here if you need us (a link to a private FB group is in the blog post). No matter what happens, please know everything happens for a reason and it will all work out as it should. xx

  • Sarah

    I was searching online for any sort of article that would help me get through this time in my life. My ex & I were engaged, & throughout our engagement have had our ups & downs. I’ve been lied to & cheated on, yet stayed because he swore it would never happen again. However, again I was lied to & upon me finding out about this (major!) lie, he chose to leave me. We lived together & shared so many things, & within 2 days, he had found a rent house of his own, & seems to be doing fine. It’s been a little less than a week since we called off our engagement, & I’ve heard hardly anything from him regarding us; but more so about his things & how he needs space/time because our relationship had too many ups & downs. I’m so heartbroken & hurt, my family has been informed & my bridesmaids as well (which he got mad that I told people). I love him so much & I just wish he felt the same. I’m now all alone at home, & I feel like I’m just going through motions to get through every day, while he lives his best life, enjoying being single, & being around women. This post has helped me & the prayer at the end of your video truly gave me chills & brought me comfort, so thank you for doing that. I hope that some day, I’ll be able to look back on all of my failed relationships & see the good in them.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Sarah, I am sending you a big hug but it sounds like you should have left him long ago. This is not a relationship you should want to pursue and marriage doesn’t fix problems. I’m sorry that your heart still wants him but I’m telling you that it’s for the best. I am glad the video brought you comfort. I don’t look back at all my relationships as good or positive, not many of them were and I don’t think that it’s healthy to look at a relationship with so much infidelity and lies as a positive one. What is positive is that you are no longer in it and hopefully you recognize it and learn to love what is good for you. xx

  • Bianca Lagana

    My Ex fiancé ended it with me 3 weeks ago. I begged, cried, was hospitalised, tried different things to change his mind but he refuses to budge because we aren’t “compatible” with each other even though we are so alike. This blog shows me that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that god has a plan for everyone. I really needed this reading, my heart feels like it’s going to burst open from the pain but it’s good to see that everything works out the way it’s supposed to in the end!

  • Marie

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, your blog has helped me but also given me some insight on how my ex may be feeling and I feel horrible. We had been engaged for 9 months and I’m the one who called off the engagement because I realized that I was no longer happy and my gut feeling was just telling me that something was off. I made sure to end things with respect and did not tell him things to make him feel about about myself. I’m thankful that no wedding planning had begun and no money spent yet since I’m still in school full time and that is my priority right now. I was just not able to truly be myself in the relationship and like you stated when we were high and good we were GOOD but when we were LOW it was so horrible and I would always ask myself why I was in this relationship. I would go to bed crying and he wouldn’t even notice that I was crying or could care less. I gave him so many chances but it was just not enough, maybe we were just wrong for each other. The last straw was when he broke my trust again. I realized that with broken trust and no happiness I was being held captive in my own suffering in the relationship. I know i’m responsible for my happiness, but he didn’t even add happiness to the relationship. I’m still devastated but I hope I can continue healing and just keep telling myself everything happens for a reason. Thank you for being so inspiring and courageous. I’m trying to heal myself and become a better person.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Marie, thank you for being here and sharing yours. Even though you called off the engagement I can’t imagine it is any easier than being left! It’s still an incredibly heartbreaking difficult decision. Wow it sounds like we know what it was like to be in a high and low relationship, it’s not fair and it’s not what God wants for you. You reserve someone who lets you be who you are 100% and loves you just as you are – hang in there and push forward. You are exactly where you need to be right now. We have a community Facebook group if you want to join for support. xo

  • Liana

    I have a feeling I will re-read your story multiple times! My 4 year relationship blew up 2 weeks before the proposal was supposed to happen on a 2 week vacation with friends in Hawaii. I knew the engagement was coming, but I didn’t want to look into the future and see myself still feeling lonely in our relationship, along with other things like his priorities and responsibility in life/relationship. Religion was part of it, I was being pulled back to God and he “wasn’t at my level” as he kept saying. And didn’t want to be. We talked & mended the problems (I thought), 2 night before Hawaii he made new plans for the future & how things would be different. He said he needed to become better both for himself and for us. He told me everything is not over, he loved me, he still wanted to be with me. He decided he needed to go on the vacation alone with his 2 friends, to clear his head and “become better”. Even tho the friends he went with are not ones with great moral character & I found out he wished he was single while there so he could hook up with the hot girls he saw there. Wonderful! He got back home 2 weeks later and he kept putting off meeting with me, still said he loved me, talked everyday over text, 2 MONTHS ago by of back and forth not knowing what our relationship was going to be until he decided to end it. Over text. A 4 year relationship. The text was just excuses and b.s. he said we would meet for closure but it never happened. I got ghosted and dragged out & deceived after a 4 year relationship & ring with our names on it. Everything in your story I felt and still feel. It’s only been 2 weeks and I just know that he’s not hurting, meanwhile I don’t go a day without crying. & constantly having to tell family & friends who loved him, that we’re no longer together. It’s heartbreak each time. I don’t even want to get out of bed most days. It doesn’t help that the world is in quarantine and these thoughts easily take over. Thinking about the double life. What should be, what we planned. Idk where to go from here. I know God has a plan and I know he saved me from a marriage of loneliness and unequal yokes. Even so, it is still devastating and scary. I’m 25, young, still starting out, but I had my life on a certain track and now I gotta switch trains. Thank you for your story. It is inspiring and hopeful. I pray God heals my heart and fills me up, and brings my future Godly husband to me who will choose me everyday for the rest of his life.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Liana, I hope you do and it provides you comfort. You are young, and I’m glad you know that, and God has amazing plans for you. Remember you are exactly where you need to be. I will be praying for your future husband, a Godly husband who can lead you and yes, chooses you every day as you deserve. xo

    • becky

      Hello, I am also 2 weeks in and seems I’m feeling exactly like you were, please could you tell me how you are doing now?
      I am really struggling, I cant sleep without dreaming about him, I have terrible anxiety, how did you cope, I do hope you ok and doing better, thank you for sharing xx

  • Melissa

    Your words of wisdom are exactly what I needed right now. Two nights ago, my now ex-fiancé called off our engagement. We were due to get married December 6th and were engaged last December 23rd. We had only been dating since last May, so 7 months of dating. Your words helped me reach an acceptance that it’s truly over instead of focusing so much on how I could convince him to make things work. Your words helped me know that I didn’t do anything wrong and his choice was a reflection on his wants and needs for his life. I feel better equipped with a healing strategy after reading your article. I plan to reach out to my church for counseling and book a massage for myself. I’m also going to save this article for when I need to hear all of this again. I hope that I can one day share my story and help someone else in need as you have.

    Thank you, thank you thank you!
    Melissa

  • sj

    Thank you for telling your story. It has been one of the only things that have comforted me after my ex-fiance broke up with me 2 months before what was supposed to be our wedding.

  • Michelle

    Diana – Thank you for sharing this post. It has helped me probably more than you’ll ever know. Last week, my partner of 4.5 years called me from the airport on his way back to his hometown (where he decided to move back to while I was out of town) and dumped me over the phone. I got a TEXT the next day with an explanation – he isn’t ready for marriage and kids and doesn’t know when he will be. The hurt is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, even though deep down I know I dodged a bullet. Reading your story gives me hope that I will find my happily ever after one day, too. Thank you again!

  • Anthony E

    Thank you for this posting Diana. My fiancé left me a month ago and I am struggling to understand and move on. She did not give me much of a reason other than she fell out of love with me and wants to do her own thing (her exact words). I read this blog at least twice a day and watch your video whenever I drive. This blog has given me so much hope to continue to move on and know that my future wife is out there somewhere. Like you said, there is someone else out there who will be a better match. Thank you for your kind and inspiring words, I will continue to read your blog and pray to God daily and know that one day this pain will pass and I will find my future wife.

    -Anthony

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Anthony, thank you for taking the time to comment, your note blessed me knowing that I am doing what God has put on my heart. I am so sorry about what you are going through, those are tough words and really nothing ever can be said to make it feel less hurtful. I would love for you to join our private FB group if you haven’t already. We have a zoom call this Thursday with my husband and I to talk and answer questions. The community is active (160 members and growing daily), and it’s great to see members “graduate” and move on as they heal. Keep your faith and know that God knows exactly what he is doing. I will add you in my prayers and please let me know how you are doing.

  • Shannon grezaffi

    Thank you. Just thanks for sharing your story. I look forward to better days.

  • Shelley Meeks

    Hi Diana,
    A week ago today my fiancé broke up with me less than a month away from us getting married. My story is very similar to yours and it indeed felt like someone stabbed me in my heart. Something I never want to experience ever again. He had been living at my place for 2 months due to his lease running out and I think that brought everything out of us. We bickered a lot and Covid along with the election has escalated every bit of our differences. Unfortunately for him it wasn’t worth fighting for and the next day his dad flew in and his sister within the state helped him move out. I had to watch the whole thing. I cried my eyes out and he never spoke to me just left me with a pat on my back (literally). The first 3 days were the worst…I’m an emotional person but I have never cried that much in my life. Goodbye to my eye lash extensions. Luckily I have an amazing family and all my friends have rallied around me to show me love. With my condo being so empty, I spent the night at my parents house the first few nights till I was comfortable. Let me tell you I have thought and gone through every moment of our relationship. Most of which I’m not actually angry at him at all. Can’t say the same about my friends who want to kill him. But I believe that’s because I don’t want to let go of the possibility that he will change his mind. Even though he moved everything out to a storage unit and is staying at his parents in Michigan. While I’m sitting on the couch hoping he’ll come through the doors to say he made a huge mistake. I guess I’m in denial and I want to avoid facing reality that feels more painful than hoping. Reading your blog and watching the video literally has been what I’ve needed to hear. Right now things are still so fresh and I feel so naked without my ring and I’m almost hiding away from people and places because of it and the potential run ins with those who are clueless. Anyways, that felt good writing that out just now which was great advice from you. Thank you Diana for your encouragement and keep me in your prayers that God will reveal the truth and lead me in the right direction and give me the peace I’m lacking.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Shelley,

      Oh I am so sorry love, thank you for sharing you story – please join the FB group if you haven’t already. I will say two things, if you cannot see eye to eye on politics, it’s a very big deal. This goes into how you raise your children, your morals and ethics, and how you view the world. Politics can create a crazy wedge between people and I know this seeing friends who have married those with opposing views and its VERY difficult. Second, he gave you a pat on the back. What in the actual…like gross. Of course you aren’t mad at him, you still love him. Your friends can hate him for you until your heart and mind can catch up with what happened. What you are going through is very normal, the denial is difficult, but hang in there and just keep pushing forward. Don’t look back, if your relationship could not withstand the election and COVID, it probably wouldn’t have withstood a lifetime here. God spared you and I pray that you draw closer to Him during this time. I’m sending you a big hug. Again, please join that FB group if you haven’t, very active in there. xx

    • becky

      hello, I was wondering how you are doing now, I am struggling and in the same space as you describe, sat in my empty house hoping he will come back although I know he won’t. Its only been 2 weeks. Thank you for sharing and I hope your doing well xx

  • Wen

    Thank you for sharing your story and teaching me how to rise above the trauma. I googled broken engagements and the first link I clicked was right to your page. I felt it’s God sending me an angel, because it’s such a coincidence that my wedding was originally scheduled for October 30th. Your dates, your faith, your coping… it all spoke to me! I just want you to know that you’re amazing and you are a big help to the rest of us who have gone through such heartaches. Take care and God bless you!

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Wen, I am so glad you found my blog post too! I am here to encourage you and tell you everything will be OK more than OK. I am sorry that you are going through this and I know it’s difficult but I’m sending you a hug! Please join our private FB group if you haven’t already. The community is active and very supportive. xx

  • Johanna A Dickson

    Hi Diana,
    I came across your posts while looking for resources on my recent breakup. I say recent but the engagement itself ended in April 2020. It completely blindsided me. He had been the one who chased me, who moved across the country to live with me, who brought up engagement first, who picked our wedding date. All of it had been him. He was adamant the break-up wasn’t about me, but him and where he was. He was struggling very badly, no job, the COVID crisis was just then upswinging, and he was dealing with unresolved trauma. In his own words, “I was drowning and I didn’t want you to drown too.” I was utterly gutted. What made matters more difficult was that we ended up living together for the remainder of our lease–until November. Not just living together, but sharing a bed, sharing all our meals, watching movies and tv every night. We were still together, just no longer engaged. He still even wanted to be intimate after a few drinks. When November finally came around, my friend suggested we do no contact after we went our separate ways. I suggested it and he agreed to it. But it’s been so hard. He texted me on Thanksgiving and he and all his friends are still following me on social media and engaging with my posts. I feel like I’m in suspended animation. On the one hand, I’m being told that he just wants time to work on himself, but my pessimism is nagging at me and thinking this is a long, drawn-out ghosting process. When I asked if he’d want to resume contact after no contact ended, he said “Of course.” Several times. He’s adamant he still loves me and cares deeply for me. He just can’t be in a relationship right now. At this point, I just don’t know what to do. He didn’t leave during those months together. He could have moved out at any point, but he stayed. With me. Would love to hear your thoughts on this very strange situation of mine! This post helped me A LOT.

  • becky

    Hello, I have just found this page, I am 2 weeks in to my engagement breaking up and I am really struggling today, he sent me a voice note being very blunt about how it is really over, I have been trying to change his mind, please can you tell me how you deal with the anxiety and the desperate pineing feeling for them, I keep having dreams about him, any advice and help would be great. I have wonderful friends but it still doesn’t stop the feelings. Thank you for posting your story it has helped me today. Xx

  • Rosenda

    Dear Diana,
    Thank you so much for sharing your story. The night my ex fiance broke up with me I was devastated and found your story which has helped immensely. I never pictured and end to our 5 year relationship ending so suddenly. It’s been a little over 5 weeks now since our engagement ended. I’m nowhere near fully healed, but I know its not the end of the world and seeing the blessings in this happening now than later. And I’m realizing Im so much stronger than I give myself credit for. It helps to know that I’m not alone and its so inspiring that you found your love. So thank you so much!

  • NICKeisha

    Hi Diana, thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad I’m not alone. I just ended my engagement a month ago. My ex pulled away from me for months and he expressed all his doubts leaving me to do the work of ending the relationship. It’s the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. But as I reflect and heal I can now see where the relationship had flags and holes. I’m glad there is this community of people talking about their broken engagements here cause now I don’t feel so alone or out of place, no one talks about broken engagements. I’m glad I have this in addition to the therapy and circle of friends and family who are supporting me in this season. Thank you for sharing the story, you’ve given me hope for my future too. I’m also glad you’re a fellow believer!

  • Harriet C

    Hi Diana,
    I am so grateful I have come across your blog as your story gives me hope. My fiance broke off our engagement last week and I am absolutely devastated. We had a big argument as he had broken my trust, and I acted out of anger and reacted in ways I’m not proud of. He mentioned he decided to end the relationship because of my reaction to the argument and because my anxiety has been difficult for him to deal with (I deal with an anxiety disorder). It feels like it was all my fault that the relationship ended and I deserved to be left. I am so heartbroken, as I feel as he had made the decision so quickly to end the engagement which left me questioning how committed he was to me after all. To me, a committed relationship means being able to forgive and forget and being able to work through difficult times with your life partner.Similar to you, I’ve also turned to God in this difficult time for support and guidance. It’s so hard to see the light out of all of this, since all of my hopes and dreams with my ex have now vanished. If you could offer any insights in how to not blame myself for this, and how to trust in God, I would appreciate it so much.

  • Alanna

    Thank you for sharing your story. I was together with my fiancé for almost 12 years, engaged for almost 2. I have grown up with him and always envisioned him to be my forever. Our families have been so supportive- it’s felt like we’ve been married for years. Always having each other to lean on. He has been so supportive and loving toward me for all of these years. He decided a few weeks ago, he was not ready to be married, that he needs to be on his own, and that he doesn’t know how long he would need to be on his own to be ready. My heart is broken into a million pieces. I am constantly torn at how I feel. How could he? It’s me! It’s him! :/ So many emotions. I tell myself to be thankful it happened before the wedding. Everyone says time helps. I just feel like I am a shell, a ghost, empty. Waiting for time to pass. For time to heal. Thank you for sharing your story. It brought me to tears. It gave me a sliver of peace. :/

  • Just a listeNer

    I just want to say. Thank you thank you for your effort in this blog and all the memories and pain you shared. You are beyond an amazing person. I prayed for you the other day and will as time goes. I feel like you have given me a great amount of hope and showed that love is real but with the right person. You also showed why this is a great thing that happened to me. It’s funny our experience is so similar I felt like you were giving my life story to others. Right now I’m In the healing stage and heading towards the better life I would love to talk to you for some more guidance if possible. Thank you so much once again for this post.

  • Tim

    It has been a week exactly since my fiancé left. Wedding was planned for 06/26. Struggling to survive and appreciate the post and video. Would you be willing to reach out via email?

  • Suzie

    Please send me some words of encouragement, or anything, to help me. I don’t know what to do. He broke off the engagement yesterday, and we were supposed to get married in January 2022. I am so broken. I gave everything up to move in with him and build a life together. I have no possessions or money to my name. But, I am the one at fault too. I didn’t realize until too late that I was too broken myself, to be in a relationship. I would like to share more with you privately, if that is okay.

  • Elisabeth aguinaldo

    Sending to you my greetings Ma’am,
    I thank God for your life’s testimonies po. You became the new best version of you.It amazes me how you’ve gone through with that broken engagement you had before with your ex. It breaks my heart too. Listening to your stories relates me so much.
    The pains, anger, disappointments, plans crushes me so much. I never expected this thing to happen to me that either. Its been more than 2months after we broke up. But right now I’m still in the process of healing. And thank God very timely I found this blog. Still its my fervent prayer to God that ONE day Iam totally healed. Waitng for that day excites me so much. I just let God move and trusting His ways how He works into my life right now. Trully only God’s Word can you get the best encouragement of healing and best answer why things happen that way to me. After 1 month of breaking up Iam still hoping that we would able to fix it but nothing had change so I ask God for wisdom and have decided to let him go. Beacuse I can not change his mind for his many reasons not to pursue our wedding. It breaks my heart so much, we both prayed this plan for 1 year and then circumstance came. Why is it easy for him not to pursue the fact that we both agreed this wedding date this coming December last year? Well I cannot control him but one thing I could control my decissions in life that awaits me to a greater expectations from God. And one thing that could change me too to a better version of me.

    LETTING HIM Go is to accept the things it does’nt change anymore.

    Thank you so much Ma’am for this blog you have. It encourages me so much to move on too☺

  • Lisa

    Hello
    I sit here in bed, struggling to muster the energy to face another tiring day of uncertainty and waves of emotions, where every minute feels like an hour. Your post has given me the strength to know that there is light, I have a future and I am not to blame for any of this. Like you said, my mind has a habit of questioning every time I nagged, or was grumpy, or wasn’t the best version of myself. However, I am starting to understand that all of this was out of my hands. That a man incapable of making this commitment to me would not have been able to be my ride or die, to be my rock or the father to my children I hope to have one day.
    I feel this stage of my life is not a journey but it is a fight. A fight between my heart and mind, where I must seek strength in my thoughts. Your post gave me the courage to lean on my friends, family and strangers. I sometimes feel like my trauma and emotions are a burden on others. However, I must allow others to help me, to pick me up and to offer clarity and compassion in a world that to me seems so cruel.
    Although I can begin to understand the past and comprehend the events which have led to this point and this decision, I feel scared for the future. Where I once had a plan, I am left with a void of uncertainty. Your words helped me to begin to see that I do have a future, and it could maybe be the happy ending I deserve, not the mediocre one I was faced with.
    Thank you for sharing your story.
    Lisa

  • Kim

    Thanks so much for sharing your story. It gave me hope. I was recently proposed to last month and three weeks in the engagement he accused me of cheating. I have an active life and a fitness instructor and he questioned my schedule.

    Anyway, we had the same issue 5 years ago and we broke up; and I gave him/us another chance. I told him if it happens again that I was done. We’ve had been together five years and he proposed and broke it off because of his insecurities and wanted to control me. Otherwise, a couple days later he comes back saying I need to admit to my infidelity; which I haven’t and never cheated, and wanted ME to fix it. Oh, and he forgive me??? I attempted to give him the ring back and he won’t take it back. Once again, controlling the situation. It’s a long story… I’ve cried so much and it seems like the days are longer, and the pain won’t go away. I’m have so many mixed emotions. However, God is good because I know he’ll get me through my darkest moments

    How long will this pain last?

  • Amanda Salgado

    I’m going through a broken engagement. It’s been two months. It’s been most emotionally painful experience. He told me he wasn’t ready to get married, then left abruptly. I feel discarded and used. I know God is growing me through this. Your blog was great and encouraging.

  • Ashley Goodyear

    Thank you for sharing your story, and more importantly your advice. My story is painfully similar, my fiancé breaking things off 25 days out from the wedding after we had spent all of that time investing in the wedding financially and physically, and in each other emotionally. I praise you for sharing this – especially as a Christian. The last thing I want to do is hate the person that I was preparing to spend my entire life with. Question: did you have to move after the breakup? I’d had moved to where my fiancé lived and now I’m having to uproot my life and go somewhere else and don’t even know where to begin.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Ashley, I’m sorry you are going through this. I have a book coming out soon if you can stay in touch and look for it. I did not have to move after the breakup, Phoenix was my home (I decided, I am from CA but made Phoenix home). He moved soon after. I would say if you moved recently and where you are doesn’t feel like home (friends, work) then by all means find a dream job and new opportunities and move! :) If you aren’t sure where yet, maybe find a place to reset for a little bit, home with your parents, other friends, or stay put. Nothing is ever permanent.

  • Toronto

    Hey, Diana.
    I came across your article today as I was searching for something relating on weddings. Today was the day I was supposed to walk down the aisle in a beautiful church downtown, in the city of Toronto. Unfortunately, the wedding was called off by my fiance as he expressed he was unhappy and was not ready to get married to me. It was an extremely sad day for me today, I listened to wedding songs this morning with tears running down my cheeks as I neared the time when we were supposed take our vows. I switched off my cell phone and worked at my desk all day as I wanted to divert my mind. Everybody says whatever happens, happens for the best even if it happens a week before the wedding it’s all happening for a good reason. It’s been very painful that’s all I can say.
    God bless you for sharing your inspiring life experience with us. It was very encouraging and helpful.
    God bless
    Toronto

  • William

    My fiancée left me three weeks before our wedding day. We were supposed to get married October 30th. I’ve been so lost and so broken since. Found your video and have been watching it multiple times a day every time I start feeling down. Can’t wait for your book to be available paperback. Thank you for your post and sharing. It is really helping me. My broken engagement happened in a 48 hour period. No clue it was coming. Two days before we were together planning things and had things planned for the weekend she broke it off. Caught me by total surprise. It’s heartbreaking. But your video really has helped open my eyes and realize that it wasn’t me. It wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t have done anything to prevent it from happening. Like u said I really feel with every fiber in my body that I lost my soulmate. We were so happy and all the sudden it’s over. I sit and wonder if she feels the same as I do. Or ever really did. I feel like she did but she has many many outside influences that alter her thinking and finally she caved in to their wishes instead of her own. And I feel she’s going to suffer in the future because of the influences she listened to instead of what she really wanted. I was part of her plan. Our plan. But when she was away with her family I wasn’t part of their plan and I feel like that was the downfall of our relationship. They manipulated her to the extent that she broke it off. I miss her terribly and still love her more than anything. I just want the pin to go away.

  • Semanti Chakraborty

    I just have gone through this. The man with whom my marriage was almost fixed, is now backing away. I see only darkness around me and being a fatherless girl, I don’t see any way to get another alliance any soon. I feel like dying right now. I don’t want to survive.
    Could you please tell me what to do at this moment? I’m sure I’ll die if I don’t find my husband.

  • LP

    This is getting me through … 6 years of him leaving 5 times to finally proposing in March of this year and then calling it off last Wednesday. We have 2 dogs that are brothers and my heart breaks for having to split them up again. This entire town knows us and the places we used to go his family goes to still. I went to a coffee shop Saturday morning and him and his parents showed up after. Laughing and carrying on with life as if I wasn’t their daughter in law … or as if I did something terrible to their son. He ended it on a Wednesday after he came home from soccer. He came up the stairs complaining about his mind and his thoughts and holding his head. Eventually saying he couldn’t go through with this and sobbing into the night.

    My heart aches from being left so…many…times. Each day I’m working to not go through the motions of I shouldn’t have argued or I should have gone along with his selfishness or just let it be. With every fiber I knew it was going to be him. The times when I was praying to hear from him and a text would appear after weeks of not talking during a break up … of running into eachother and unexplainable situations that made me believe this was our story. But you’re right. He left. He always leaves. This time was because I negatively impact his life and cause him anxiety.

    I’m broken for this home we created and the dog I will never see again. It’s almost too much to handle. My life is broken.

    Your words and your hope and your understanding help. I’m just too exhausted to think this could be better right now.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi LP, I feel your story and pain. When you have a moment and need some words of encouragement, please consider the audible or my book – there is so much to say and our stories are VERY similar. I hope sharing mine and the healing process will help you, it’s fresh and please give yourself some grace. You deserve better. xx

  • Eleana Wehr

    Hi Diana,

    I found your blog post by googling how to get through a broken engagement. I’m still in complete shock after 2 months. We were together for almost 5 years and I really never see this coming. I cry every day and go through a rollercoaster of emotions. I needed to read this and while when I read it I found some hope and sense of community, I still don’t know how to get through this. I feel so much hurt, pain and sadness as well as anger. He was my best friend and I feel so lost. Most days, I just hope that I can stop thinking about him but I keep going there and listening to the idea that we may get back together. I feel like he lost absolutely nothing while I have been completely uprooted. I don’t know that I will ever understand how he was able to lose the love he had for me within a few months. I wish I could stop loving him but I feel like all it does is consume me. I was hoping to connect with you for additional words or advice to get through this all.

    Thank you ❤️

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Eleana, there’s so much to say, please consider buying the book on Amazon for more – there’s so much advice on healing and prayers —> https://amzn.to/3ttBqwL There is also a link to the support group so you can continue this conversation with others who are healing. xx

  • VANESSA GOMEZ

    Hi! I’ve reading your story for the third time now. My ex fiancé cancelled our wedding 3 weeks before actual wedding (Jan 22, 2022).
    All is set, invitations are already out, we already had our gown/suit, wedding rings that were bought one week before he called of the wedding. He said it was 6 months ago since he felt is he is ready or not, he said he is still immature and needs to be independent without me. He also ended our relationship. We’ve been together for 3 years. I feel betrayed, abandoned. He left me with confusion, trauma, emotional abuse and mental abuse.
    As I am reading your testimony, I felt like im reading my own story. It gives me hope and future, just wait and trust God’s plan and process. It hurts now but I know this pain will replace with joy and genuine love.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Vanessa, I’m so sorry, I understand that timeline, mine was 3 weeks before too. There is so much to say about this, but if you need more than this blog post and video, please consider buying the book In Repair on Amazon. I will meet you in the pages and though it is raw now, it might help with the healing process. there’s also an audible. You can join the support group linked in the back of the book as well. I am so sorry but please know that God absolutely knows what is best for you. It sounds like your faith is strong and will carry you through the days. Praying for you sweet. xx

  • GraCe

    Hi Diana,

    Thank you for this post. Today was supposed to be my wedding day. The first of two weddings. Everything had been paid for guest invites sent out. My dream custom wedding dress was made. Three months ago, he came home from work and just said “ we need to talk”. I never in a million years thought he wanted to break up with me. I thought maybe he wanted to change somethings on the weeding. 20 mins before he came home. I texted him to say “ hi babe I miss you” and he said “ I miss you too, I am on my way home babe”. Before he left to work that morning he kissed me on the forehead, as usual. And I went on planning the rest of the weeding. Now, I realize that in the month preceding the break up we had argued a lot more than usual. Mostly about the wedding. He was not fully involved in the planning process and I was frustrated about things not going right. Sometimes I took it out on him and we will get into an argument. I didn’t realize that these things are him away. He is a very easy going person and usually very calm in almost every situation. He treated me very well and will always be there for me when I felt overwhelmed at work or life. He is always waiting with a bouquet or a hug. He was a dream come true. We said I love you to each other maybe 5times a day. We prayed together, went to the gym together. Went to church together. He was very patient, kind and easy to love. My whole family love him and they are though with approval. My friends love him and loved the way he loved me. We were happy. At least I was. We had similar faith, financial goals and picture, cultural background. It was easy. I was happy. But he wasn’t and I didn’t see it. My heart is completely shattered in a million pieces. I couldn’t believe that this is the the same person who treated me like a princess. Maybe it’s too early to see the his faults and I am clouded in heartbreak. He didn’t just disappear, he took the time to tell me that he felt we argued a lot and might not make good partners in future. I tried to let him know that most couples have some arguments during wedding planning. But he was adamant that he wanted no part of the wedding. He said he still loved me but cant be with me. I am shattered. I don’t know how I can move on from this. I will be 35 in a few months. I want kids with a partner and that equally scared me. I cry like a teenager. I realize that I had never loved anyone this much. Our entire 7months of engagement was the happiest time of my entire life. Even when we had an argument. The last three months have been the saddest part of my life. Some days I can’t breathe. I pray and I scream at God. Like you, sometimes I scream and cry so loud, that I worry my neighbors will come rushing. One day I pulled over on the side of a bridge to cry so loudly because I couldn’t drive anymore. I have been so mad at God and at the same time grateful for my health, life, job and family. It’s a conflicting place to be. He’s moved on, and, I don’t understand why I can’t just move on too. Maybe, because I blame myself. My friends and therapist have tried to convince me to stop blaming myself . If he truly loved me, he would never have walked away. Without trying. I hide away from people and bask in my tears and loneliness most days. I go to work but can’t wait to get home snd into my bed and cry myself to sleep. It’s crazy. The second and bigger wedding is in three months. I hope to heal a little more by then. Thank you for sharing your story. Hopefully one day I can share mine. I feel like I am just living my life solely with the hope and faith that one day I will get over it. I have to believe that this was for a reason and all I am doing now is waiting for what that reason is. To make even the smallest sense of this. I will order your book hopefully it will give me a little more peace.

    #heartbroken

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi GraCe, thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry you are going through this but please know that God does know what is best. There are certainly so many emotions that come with this loss, a loss of dreams and a romanticized future, it’s so hard. I hope the book has helped and also that you are part of our private FB group. I look forward to meeting you there. xx

  • Natalie Krempa

    Hi there,
    I came across your blog post last week. I purchased your book right after my ex fiancé told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore and that his heart is not in it 2 months before our wedding. Then he came back so I decided to return the book, then yesterday he did the same thing. I just do not have any words and I feel numb and humiliated and just thinking back on what I did or did not do to cause this. I feel like I wasted alot of my years/time as I’m 32 and thought this was going to be my forever.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Natalie, I am so sorry you had to go through it twice. There have been several members in the group who have had their heart broken twice too. Sometimes we need to be sure, and though it hurts, that last time can awaken something in you – you deserve better. Sending you hugs and prayers. Please consider joining our private group if you haven’t already xx

  • Meg

    Dear Diana,
    I wanted to say thank you for writing about your broken engagement. I really appreciate it, and your courage has helped me. My broken engagement story is a little different and I am still struggling and trying to find the healing I need.
    I was the one who broke off my engagement due to emotional abuse. I am still trying to find my worth and heal from the trauma.
    Thank you again so much for your bravery.
    Meg

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Meg, I’m glad you landed upon my blog post. I find we have so many different stories but a common thread. I should have walked away from mine due to emotional abuse as well. I applaud you for having the strength to walk away. If you need more help with healing, please consider the book or audible and the links to a private support group on Facebook. xx

  • Bianca Harmon

    My fiancé, and father of our child called of our engagement, on the phone in the airport when he was supposed to be coming home. Instead he stayed another night by himself saying he needed to think. He blocked my number, and didn’t text me till he was leaving the airport and said his best friend, the best man in his wedding would be picking him up and he would stay there for the night. I had booked a counseling session for us this Saturday. Well he sent me a text while on the plane that it was over, there was no going back, he put his all in us and didn’t feel appreciated and said I am mean and he can’t live his life like this. That’ he’s unhappy and has been. Then told me didn’t love me anymore. So how when less than 12 hours prior was he telling me how much he loved me, then BOOM doesn’t anymore. I’m devastated, feel abandoned, beyond heart broken. I don’t know if my older children can survive this, he was going to be adopting them. I also don’t want my 18 month old growing up in a broken home. I have replayed everything in my mind over and over and none of it is adding up to just running away from our love and family. 1 week prior to his trip he wanted to start trying to make another baby, I asked if we could please wait till after the wedding which is one month away. He sent me flowers while away with a card thanking me for taking care of our boy, and that I am the love of his life. 3 days before he ended things over the phone. He would always tell me I was the one person that understood him and now is telling me he can’t marry somebody that doesn’t understand him. I think that’s the part that gets me the most, the things he did for me, for our family, the things he said were not those of somebody that is unhappy on the verge of throwing it all away. I know I’m not perfect and I have my faults, but if he was so unhappy and about to toss it all after all the money, time, and effort I had put into it why not suggest counseling long ago? I’m not a runner, I fight for what I want and I love. I finally thought I had the one person that loves me and understood me and here I am now. Alone with our son, and my two children from a relationship when I was very young, in a rental I can’t afford on my own, a car I can’t afford on my own, he’ll a life in general. I gave up making a ton of money to stay home with our son and he was the bread winner. We live in a very small town in California that I honestly just can’t show my face in. Everybody knew how much we loved eachother and him me, but maybe he never did. I don’t know where to turn or where to go from here…

  • Em

    absolutely broken because my fiancé left me through a text. In despair I tried to call him and he denied every call. It was my fault truly. I changed myself too much for him. I also tried to forgive him for pain he had caused me in the past but that pain always came back to haunt me and tell me I would never be enough. I would break down often and feel like he would cause that pain again at any moment and I would be full of insecurity. He had enough of it , enough of me and left me. I know shouldn’t have morphed for him at all and I don’t think I ever felt like he truly loved me for me but I never wanted to give up on him. I kept believing he would somehow change back to the guy I first met. I should have let go long ago but I kept hoping he would finally see me for me. I know I deserved more but I wanted more from him. I wanted more love, more bonding , more communication and I kept believing he would give me that. My birthday is this coming month and I’ll be 30 and my whole life has been flipped. I had a lot of hope for us. Im mourning not only the loss of him but the loss of having a family and kids. I stopped my whole life to be with him and I feel almost blind having to find my way back to myself. I know I deserve more too but I can’t imagine my life with any one else. We weren’t engaged for long and I have to return the ring as we didn’t make make it past the return date . That’s going to be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. I have the longest road ahead of me and your post has given me hope that I too can have the strength to get through this. Somehow. Thank you

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Em I am so sorry to hear that. If you need more words of encouragement, please consider the book In Repair, available on Amazon. There is an active private group on there that helps with support as everyone heals. Been very helpful to all in it.

  • Amy

    Hi Diana, thank you for sharing your story, it has brought light into my day. I was engaged to my girlfriend of 6 years for about 3 months. We had chosen the venue, sent the Save The Dates, and recently traveled together to my home country to have an engagement celebration with family and friends. I had been living some months of happiness and love, felt like this was my person, and had built a home and a life together with our cat. 3 days after coming back from celebrating in my home country, I found out she had recently cheated on me. It was so painful and felt out of the blue. To my understanding, she had always been loyal. And doing this while we were deciding to share our lives together felt like a huge betrayal and made me doubt the realness of our whole story. After all the pain and heartbreak from the cheating, she finally told me she had been having doubts about our relationship and that she didn’t want to be with me. She unchose me as well. This brought many more pain and feelings of rejection and abandonment on top of the betrayal. It has been a dark couple of weeks since it all ended. I’ve been feeling more pain than ever. It’s hard to do any minor tasks but I’ve also found little healing moments by connecting to myself, my faith, my family, and my friends. I’ve also felt like a bandage has been taken off my eyes. I have been able to see that I was accommodating to her to make her fit into my person. As painful as this is I know I will only come out stronger and it brings me hope to see you thriving after all. So thank you! May we all heal from this together.

    • Diana Elizabeth

      Hi Amy, there is so much power when you feel like the scales have been removed from your eyes. I hope that it brings you reassurance that this was meant to happen for a reason. You seem to have such a wonderful positive outlook :) Best wishes for healing, finding joy and finding the right partner for you!

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