Whatever stage you are in, these are a few things I did that I felt helped me move through the stages and begin the healing process. Maybe you want to make this into a checklist—I had a reader tell me she did everything on this list and felt fabulous. She even signed up for a marathon!

BOOK A MASSAGE

The power of touch is truly healing even if it's a back rub. Think about a long hug. Get as many massages as you need and if you fear how you will react, tell the therapist you might cry on her table. I promise you won't be the first.

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BOOK A PHOTOSHOOT

A photoshoot can lift your spirits! Get your hair and makeup done and post it on your social media!

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JOT DOWN YOUR FEELINGS

When I wrote my writing turned from bashing the relationship to praising God and asking Him to forgive and heal my heart. Writing can transform our thoughts and be prayers to God.

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SEEK GOD

If you have faith, then show the world the strength of your faith! Remember when David praised the Lord after the death of his baby, you can get up and worship the Lord!

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SHOW UP

Two days after my breakup I had to co-host a baby shower. I did it. I cried upon arrival then I put on a smile and celebrated her. Do not cancel going to any event you have on the calendar. It can take your mind off your problems for a few minutes.

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BE KIND TO YOURSELF

Know that you are a treasure and have a lot to offer. Don't let any unkind thoughts enter your mind, you are a precious child of God! There is NOTHING wrong with you. 

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GO SHOPPING

Now that there's no wedding, screw saving for it! Go shopping and buy the date the clothes, sunglasses, jewelry, go on a vacation with your friends! Just don't go into debt.

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WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE

Tell them how you are feeling and how excited you are to meet them and all the things you know about them (qualities you are looking for). It will remind yourself about what qualities you are looking for in a partner!

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IMMERSE YOURSELF IN A NEW HOBBY

You can use the energy of pain and put it toward a new passion that will heal and perhaps turn into a new career! I picked up a camera and my hobby of photography turned me into a wedding photographer! Of all things! You can serve others in need, volunteer, just love and serve others. You will find it will heal your heart.

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DON'T AVOID THOSE SPECIAL PLACES

That table, the restaurant, the spots that bring back memories - make NEW ones there by bringing your friends. Those new memories will soon override the former ones, trust me. Don't avoid them and don't give up your favorite pizza for someone who is no longer around!

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