I recently hung out with a longtime college friend who is a newlywed. We laughed about the exes, the past, and concluded that the right man, brings out the right you.
My girlfriend said something that made me really excited and happy for her. “I just want to do the laundry and cook and do all the house stuff so he can come home and not worry about any of that,” she said. Yes! Yes! That’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. To not feel forced, but to want to do it, not out of obligation or expectation your spouse may have on you, or you have on yourself to be the perfect wife. If you feel like you need to be the perfect wife/future wife/girlfriend, it’s because you’re with someone who is controlling. You will not earn his love or approval by doing things, rather, his demands will only increase. You need to be with a man whose unconditional love will make you want to do those things. And, he won’t tell you that you should want to do those things, you’ll just want to because of him.
We both laughed over our temperaments and how we, as woman can be fireballs, but our husbands are like water. They don’t fuel the fire, they put it out. When you’re dating Mr. Wrong everything from his tone to the way he handles the situation can escalate it to another level. That’s not who you want to be with.
I’m married to a man who tells me I don’t have to worry about working too hard, I can do what I want – work at all or not at all, write a book, read a book, sleep in if I want, and that frozen Trader Joe’s meal is sufficient. He never tells me to clean or do laundry, or ever nit picks what I can’t do, or what I can’t spend our money on. He has never had any expectations on my performance, he loves all that I do, or don’t do, all that I am, and am not. He tells me it’s OK if I’m not perfect in any areas of my life, and he trusts my judgement. And because he loves me like this, unconditionally, it makes me happy to respect him. When a woman is loved the right way, it makes her want to do everything for him, and he’ll never even have to ask, including the stuff she’s never liked doing before.
Diana Elizabeth is married to a Mr. Wonderful but she has dated many Mr. Unwonderfuls, Mr. Mental, and Mr. Selfish. Do not give your “forever” away to men like that, be smart ladies, and hold out for the right guy. It is better to be single than in an unhappy marriage. Your Mr. Wonderful is coming. Don’t settle.