Self-Worth and Purpose

There are a series of photos I want to share taken by my talented friend Jennifer Bowen and I thought I’d share these images we created with a theme – or rather, a topic and share a story with the theme. This is the second post, about self-worth, purpose and my journey of being an accidental influencer. (Here’s the first post about growth).

   

ere’s what I have been thinking about lately because – I think a lot. I evaluate a lot in my life – my thoughts, my heart, my struggles, my purpose and making sure I’m doing everything I need to be doing and using the time and talents God has given me in a way that He would be pleased with.

Sometimes, that’s hard, especially when you place self-worth in the wrong places. I’ve been doing that lately. It’s been rough and I am aware it’s not good, then I have to do side projects or do things that just fuel my soul that aligns with my purpose and I feel good again. So I stepped away for a bit, mentally and had to focus on the real stuff happening in front of me – relationships, home projects, family, without obligation to create.

During that time I also learned to listen to my priorities and identify the requirements I have.

For instance, when I first became an entrepreneur in my mid-20s I was single and had to make my mortgage and hustle to pay for my living expenses. I did it as a graphic designer and photographer, and here I am 10 years later, and though married, still able to support myself if I didn’t have a husband. (It’s a strange question when I get asked if I can make a living off blogging but I completely understand that it’s such a new concept and I don’t think everyone can, even the ones who you think do, have social media for creative purposes rather than business).

But if I can be honest, some years it’s accidental success. I don’t disregard that I work hard, and what I mean by accidental success doesn’t mean like oh I fell into a hole of luck, I’m aware that luck is when preparation meets opportunity and every good gift is from above. But I’m just emphasizing that I didn’t quite focus on being where I am today. I really am the accidental influencer. I didn’t have goals to be whatever it is I am today. I just kept doing the things I enjoyed and it’s brought me here.

I remind myself that I don’t have to chase things like numbers, applause, or be overworked if that wasn’t my initial intention – or if that’s just not where I’m at the moment any longer. When I say remind myself, I mean I have to constantly remind myself.  There was a time when chasing got me to wonderful places, and then there are moments (like now) when I can just look around and say, that’s enough. I can slow down. I can just do whatever because it’s still working.

I don’t know if anyone else needed to hear that – but maybe if we didn’t spend so much money we didn’t have to work so hard to pay for it. As Benjamin says it’s not about how much money you make it’s about how much money you spend – or maybe Dave Ramsey said it haha!

Maybe we’re really living the life of flexibility we always wanted, and we need to stop comparing ourselves to others who are on another path or have a different goal, or who aren’t even reaching the same destination we are because there are different plans for all of us – and we have to be OK with that.

I’ve started to admire those who really have it in the them to be over the top creative – like almost a funky, young spirited vibe. It’s not me. LOL. I admire the gumption, the personality behind it, but I cannot do that. I’d feel like a clown, I’d feel like I was totally trying to be something I am not and I just know where I am – I’m old enough, too.

And I’m also glad to be in a place where I can admire it without feeling like I should be doing the same! When I realized that I could admire without putting myself down, I realized I have slowly changed my perspective – but there are good days and harder days.

I look around and remind myself I am living the life I not always dreamed of – but fulfilling God’s purpose for me here – and that, is and will always enough.

Photography: Jennifer Bowen
Makeup and hair: Lizzy Marsh

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Diana Elizabeth says first Justin Bieber, now Kayne West. God is doing amazing things and it’s pretty incredible to watch the ongoing transformation of these talented singers become brothers in Christ.