I put my heart into your hands
Here’s my soul to keep
I let you in with all that I can
You’re not hard to reach
And you bless me with the best gift
That I’ve ever known
You give me purpose
Yeah, you’ve given me purpose
Thinking my journey’s come to an end
Sending out a farewell to my friends, forever peace
Ask you to forgive me for my sins, oh would you please?
I’m more than grateful for the time we spent, my spirit’s at ease
“Purpose” – Justin Bieber
Never in a million years would I think I’d ever post a Justin Bieber lyric on my blog or talk about him. My, have things changed.
A few updates on life.
- I have been warming up to Justin Bieber lately, even through his bad boy stage I never gave much thought about it. After he said he found God and Candace Cameron Bure’s sweet explanation about Justin calling himself a Christian on The View, I became a little curious. I’ve always thought his tunes are incredibly catchy and he’s was adorable. I downloaded his album “Purpose” and I am a Belieber now – it’s a catchy album and I’m pretty sure I have played it on loop over a dozen times. I’m scrambling to find a way to make it to his Phoenix concert in March, move over ladies.
- I now want to grow my hair out a little longer and leave it dark. I do miss my natural hair color, but thanks to the days progressing, aka aging, I’m tired of pulling out my white hairs – as my girlfriend Ashley said there’s a difference between white and gray and she’s jealous I have white (you can take them…?). Plus, my friends were scolding me claiming two pop up for every one I yank. I only complain about the maintenance of hair coloring, not about getting older because I’m definitely at that age when I realize how ridiculous it is to say, “I’m so old” and I’ve been saying that when I was 21. Eye roll.
- I’m also learning to confess out loud to God. I constantly think about the issues that bother me but the girls in my small group said when you confess it out loud to God you hear how ugly it is and sounds. It’s true – you say it out loud that it’s bugging you and you kind of stop and think, my goodness, this is insane, I’M INSANE! But it feels good to say it, confess it, and pray that God will help me through that crazy messed up thought/head of mine.
- I want to share stories and not care about being unliked. I’m a lot of creative things, but truly, deep down, what I’ve forgotten is I have been a writer since I was young – winning blue ribbons for poems and short stories. I worked on the high school newspaper as an editor, literary magazine editor, yearbook staff and decided I loved to write and tell stories so much, that I wanted to major in writing – reporting that is. Earlier this summer I sat around a table and talked to two very good blogging friends of mine, Crystal and Amy who are both amazing mothers and Christian women. I told them about a health issue I found out about when I was 15, the struggles I went through as a teen, mean things said to me, the broken engagement 3 weeks before the wedding – things that really my best friends know, but maybe not even to that depth. They were stunned and said, “You need to share these stories, imagine the young girls out there like yourself who would have loved to have had this support or reference out there.” Yeah, I do think about that – a lot in fact, but I’m sh** scared. I think I might need to get drunk at my desk before I start a post to make it all pour out the way I really want it to. I’m at the point where I realize they are part of my story, but no longer a part of me (events I don’t think about often), if that can make any sense whatesoever.
Thanks for just spending your days with me – I always hope I can provide some sense of value every time you hang out with me in this little space.
I am so looking forward to the New Year but also reminding myself to be present with all the activities I have that close out this year.
Hoping you ease into the new year refreshed and rejuvenated.