Holding on.

Femme Beat dinner

I don’t know how it’s the weekend already when I swear I was just at church the other day. I’m holding on by a loose string. I’m a salmon trying to swim up stream and I’m just going and going. Making my commitments, slowly taking on more as I see the smoke clearing.

It’s just that time in my life when projects are piling up, deadlines are approaching sooner than usual and I realize, the year is winding down!

I was told years ago by my friend Dallin who runs his own web design business that if I left corporate I would never work longer hours in my life but I’d be so happy. It’s true, there’s something about being your own boss – only sometimes you refuse to quit and you’re up at 2 am working on a project because you’re just that invested.

There’s something about the stillness of the night with no text messages and a silent inbox that fades into the background so you can finally concentrate – be in the zone. I’m a night owl because of this – I design in the dark, with a few lights on, the glow of my monitor and silence around me. Just the tapping of keys, the clicking of my mouse and I’m productive, as if I had coffee, only I couldn’t have. I am thankful that Mr. Wonderful understands this season, saying, “Let’s just have Postmates deliver” to kissing me on my forehead and saying, “You’re working so hard,” as he unloads the dishwasher, takes out the trash, folds the laundry.

I met with my good friend Brian who left the corporate world a few weeks ago to do his own thing. “But it doesn’t feel like work,” he said. I laughed at I stared at him across the table. “Yeah, because you just started so it’s exciting,” then I caught myself sounding super negative and added, “Well, it’s true, it doesn’t, but it can get overwhelming and you wish you had more hours in the day.”

Which brings me to why I continually book social outings because it keeps me sane – because if I don’t schedule a few things a week, I’d never leave my home office. I’d stay in my pajamas, unwashed hair (and maybe body) and I’d be working and forgetting about my breaks. So when you’re overwhelmed, keep your work commitments, make those deadlines, but make time to do what you needed, a few hours of laughing over lunch and talking about dreams will be refreshing.

Oh, and I finally found a new office chair.

Abe Beige Linen Wing chair, $459 from Overstock.com

Since I’m sitting at my desk for a lengthier amount of time, I figured my bum and back could benefit from the investment. Here’s a quick shot I took of my office at night. Yes, I already up my pink Christmas tree. Kinda couldn’t help it as I put away Halloween decorations and it was just staring back at me, begging to keep me company over the next two months. It makes my heart swell with gladness.